The Cause And Effects Of Codependent Parenting

One thing that almost everybody will have to deal with at least once in their lifetime is parenting. In parenting, both parents are needed to make the job easier on themselves, their marriage and their child. In the essay The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was. by Hope Edelman, Edelman tells her experience with co-parenting. Edelman, along with many women, initially believed that co-parenting was possible. She soon figured out, however, that it was not a realistic goal. Some points that Edelman hits in the essay are the gender roles and societal expectations in parenting, being the nurturer versus being the provider, and how poor communication can ruin

This conflict between mates leaves the child feeling at risk of losing one or both parents. Children see themselves as the only pain relief or distraction for their parents. Kids feel over whelmed, especially if addressing their own need is seen as misbehavior.

In her article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was”, author Hope Edelman claims that perhaps the ideal, balanced, and harmonious marriage that many couples yearn for is merely an unachievable myth. Edelman’s anger and frustration drives her essay as she recounts her childhood, analyzes societal gender roles, and narrates her own relationship in order to explore the concept of shared responsibility in a marriage.

Would you have come out different if your parents used a different parenting style? If you are considered “cool” now could you have come out a nerd if your parents would have used a different parenting style? “Parenting style is one of the primary determinants of your child’s outcome whether he succeeds, achieves, meets the challenges, flounders, gives up, or runs from or fails in handling life.” (6) The purpose of this paper is to describe the outcomes, processes, labor, and techniques of parenting in a psychological point of view. Parenting styles are defined as the “manner in which parents express their beliefs on how to be a good or bad parent.” (4) Each parenting style has its weaknesses and

The majority of children living in a dysfunctional family with a drug addicted parent will not develop a secure attachment with another individual, where the relationship revolves around intimacy and mutual understanding. Parents who are codependent on each other have learned to regard the dysfunction as normal, and their children could be susceptible to numerous scenarios. They could become the target of their parent’s abuse, either sexual or physical. The children of codependent parents could easily gain access to drugs or alcohol since no one is paying attention to the child. The codependent parents are preoccupied with the alcoholic or drug addicted parent, and they might never bother to realize their child is in grave danger. The codependent parent’s children might never recover fully from the trauma, abuse, or neglect inflicted on them. In addition, the children learn to become adults who repeat the vicious cycle of domestic violence or abuse themselves. Children of codependent parent might grow resilient despite

According to Beattie, a codependent is an individual that has become obsessed with controlling the behavior of another, and has allowed this persons’ behavior to directly affect their own (Beattie, 1986). She

If anxiety levels rise in these problems, psychiatric, medical, or social dysfunction may develop (Kerr, 2000). In impairment of one or more children problems, according to Kerr (2000), the spouses focus their anxieties on one or more of their children and the children focus their anxiety on them which can ultimately impair school performance, social relationships, and even health (Kerr, 2000). In emotional distance problems, according to Kerr (2000), people distances themselves from others to reduce the intensity of the relationship, but risk isolation from each other. The fourth concept of this theory is the family projection process. This concept describes the primary way parents transmit their emotional problems to a child (Kerr, 2000). This process can impair the functioning of one or more children and can increase their clinical symptoms. Some problems that children inherit from their parents include the need for attention and approval; difficulty dealing with expectations; the tendency to blame oneself or others; feeling responsible for the happiness of others or that others are responsible for one’s own happiness; and acting impulsively to relieve the anxiety of the moment rather than tolerating anxiety and acting thoughtfully (Kerr, 2000). Parents have different roles in this process: mothers are the primary caretakers and experience more emotional involvement with one or

According to the Contextual Therapy model, people cannot be removed from their generational rootedness. They bring invisible loyalties extending across generations, even when starting a new family unit. Invisible loyalty is a state in which a child unconsciously tries to pay a debt to his parents, even to his own detriment (Goldenberg, 2012). The professor gave us an example of a parent who struggles with alcoholism, and puts responsibilities, such as caring for a three year old child on an oldest child, who is only six years old. Even though the six year old is a child herself, she feels obligated to care for the younger one when their mother is drinking and out of control. When growing up, that same person may feel that she needs to care for others more than it is necessary, and may get involved with someone who struggles with their life (drug addiction, alcoholism, etc.), which will lead to a disabled relationships. It hit me right there like a lightning during the

According to Beattie, a codependent is an individual who has become obsessed with controlling the behavior of another and has allowed this persons’ behavior to directly affect their own

chronic drug use and her father absence. Melanie’s regrets from dropping out of high school also

Most mothers and fathers love their kids with all their heart. As a child begins to age, parents begin to influence their kids and will mold them as they mature. However, parents without much care for their kids will leave a long-term effect on their children and in this study, the main impact is the father.

Fathers should spend time with their children because it can help them perform better in school, it can help with their development, and help them flourish in life. “The dad effect starts as early as birth. A review of studies by Father Involvement Research Alliance shows that babies with more involved are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident in new situations, and eager to explore their surroundings.”

Caregivers play a primary role in how a child may develop. The daily interaction between the caregiver and child continually changes the pathway in which the child may take. How the child is raised and the parenting style used is a significant influence on that development by affecting the relationship between parent and child. This supports the Attachment theory in which emphasizes relationship between the child and caregiver as a key factor in development.

Parenting styles have had many controversial issues over the decades. The way people raised their children back in the 50’s and 60’s are completely different from today society. Back then they believe in the nuclear family, which is a family with a mom, dad, and children. They believe staying together at all cost. If something was breaking or broken you fixed it. At times you wonder if they stayed for love, money, or just for the sake of the children. Now and days it is not the same. Families are broken up for many reasons. Rather it be by death, the other parent wanting out (such as divorce). But in the end there is always a single parent left to take care of the kids in most situations. When something like this happens a negative connotation is brought to the single parent. This paper would show the effects of being raised by a single parent. Just like everything in life there is a good and bad side to everything. So in this paper you should learn the negative and positive effect of being raised by a single parent. The problem of the matter is that society tends to write off the child of single parents. Stating that they are lead down this road of destruction and grouping the entire single parent raised children without seeing the other side. Not saying that being raised by a single parent does not come with it hardships, but the fact is that there is still hope for those children and they can do very well. By always stating the negative it leaves the

The family system and parents are generally regarded as one of the most powerful forces in shaping adolescents. Parents have a great influence in the development of adolescents. The relationship of the parents largely effect the development of adolescents and is an important factor when looking at development. Well-adjusted adolescents tend to have intact families that are supportive and create a warm and loving environment with constant monitoring of behavior. The review examines the current research on adolescent development and how it is effected by parenting styles. Taking into account the changes that occur over time to parents this review shows the fluidity of parenting styles and the stressors that cause those changes.