The Conversation Between Men And Women

In the video lecture presented by Deborah Tannen, He Said, She Said, Tannen emphasizes that men and women grow up in very different social worlds. When boys grow up, they learn that there is often going to be an inequality of force in any conversation. For girls, however, they feel that equality is very important and that it needs to be enforced through sympathy-based bonding. As adults, these different messages behind socialization can often lead to confusion, miscommunication, and, sometimes, hurt feelings. Tannen explores the difficulties of cross-gender communication and how we can overcome them by understanding where these conversational rituals come from. As a reflection on Tannen’s lecture, this paper will analyze how the different developments of boys and girls lead to the different views men and women have on the world. First of all, childhood and friendship is perceived differently by each gender.

The methods in which men and women communicate are eminently different. This being so, their external state is an indicator of their inner state, but men and women have different external states to express themselves. This is especially evident among children and individuals in relationships, and altered between a couple who tries to adjust their behavior. Deborah Tannen, the author of “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” argues that boys are girls are taught to have a differ inner state, that males and females usually have the same inner state but express them differently when communicating, and that individuals in romantic relationships can alter the way they present their outer state to represent their inner state in a way their partner can relate to.

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

In “Man to Man, Woman to Woman”, M. Sherman and A. Hass explain the problem of male –female communication through the research. They passed a questionnaire to 160 women and 110 men asking them that how often they talk about the topic listed on the questionnaire with friends of the same sex. From the responses of the questionnaire, they wrote this article. They said that the men reported talking about sports, current events, music, whereas women reported talking about relationship problems, health, family, reproductive concerns, weight, food, and clothing. They come up with the conclusions that both men and women don’t have to adopt other’s style, but they have to recognize and respect other’s style. Well, it seems like Sherman’s and Hass’s article can really tell us accurate information than that of Maynard’s article. “Man to Man, Woman to Woman” is based on the majority view and not one person’s view like “His Talk, Her Talk”. “Man to Man, Woman to Woman” is based on the survey, so the newlyweds would be able to understand better because now-a-days people like data from research, they like exact numbers. Moreover, the survey done by Hass and Sherman leads us to the conclusion that the difference in topics is not so damaging to intimate male-female relationships as are the differences in the style and function of conversation. J. Maynard’s data are merely based on her own life experiences. Some people may not believe in one person’s

This article by Deborah Tannen, written in 1990, addresses the differences between the communication styles of men and women and some of the ensuing problems that arise from these divergent behaviors. The article asserts "that although men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wreaking havoc with marriage" (p. 474). Research indicates that a majority of women state a lack of communication as the reason for seeking divorce as compared to only a few of the men. With the divorce rate at 50 percent the author says there is a "virtual epidemic of failed conversation" (p. 474) in America.

In Dave Barry’s article “We’ve Got the Dirt on Guy Brains” and the Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” , the authors discussed the difference between men and women in terms of specific issues. However, their opinions of what reasons have led to certain differences diverged. This essay aimed at providing a detailed examination of both articles by comparing some of the points. First of all, I will discuss the shared point of both articles regarding the differences of men and women. Then the I will move on taking about the major different opinions the two authors held. Once these have been done, a brief examination of the the evidence in both articles.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

In the article, “Sex Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” author Deborah Tannen, argues that the culture differences in males and females communication, both expect differences in their partners communication which cause damaged marriages. First Tannen mentions, communication in marriage is difficult due to the fact that males and females have come from different cultures. Then Tannen argues, that women expect more intimacy by way of conversation and men share activities in order to gain in their same sex friendships. Tannen also argues that men tend to switch topics often, not concentrating so much on depth as on breadth, not taking turns on same topic; women establish intimacy by diving deeper on a few topics. The author states, male relationships are “agonistic” (Tannen), trying to one up; female relationships are not that way, as they seek equality instead. Finally Tannen, suggests that there are solutions: awareness is key in a cross-cultured communication. (Tannen) While there are some elements to her argument that may generalize too much, in the end, I do find myself convinced by Tannen’s case.

While analyzing question one from Deborah Tannen’s perspective on the connection of miscommunication in marriages and high divorce rates, I agreed with you when you stated that men tend to talk more in public situations and less at home compared to women. I agreed with you because Deborah Tannen and her sources noted that men tend to talk in public situations and less at home compared to women.

In a relationship, there are many factors that affect the healthiness between the two people. All of these characteristics are related to having respect and good communication between the two individuals. Having these vital elements allow for the confrontation of issues that occur between couples. For instance, it is necessary for a couple to have a conversation on how they feel about modern gender roles. In contemporary society, men and women no longer strictly abide to the traditional gender roles seen throughout America's history. Under these historical circumstances, men would typically go to work, while women stayed at home to take care of the household and the children. Nowadays, there are statistics that show men and women still do

After learning about gendered communication, I began to scrupulously analyze my surroundings for situations, relationships, and such that either befitted or opposed the research shown about gendered communication. Upon analyzing my surroundings in this manner, I discovered that some situations described in the PowerPoint presentation were surprisingly similar to situations that I view daily in my own home.

In the process of going through an American Sign Language (ASL) interpreter training program, one cannot help but notice a substantial gender gap. For every fifteen females, there are (perhaps) one or two males. Research has suggested that females make up around 85% of the ASL interpreting field (RID, 2014). Does this significate gender differential have an effect on clientele message? This paper hopes to explore that precise question. Through the course of this paper, I will uncover the differences in communication styles between males and females. Additionally, I conducted a survey of interpreters as well as clients in order to gain insight into the possible effects this differential has on clientele. The online qualitative survey allowed me to compare and contrast responses from a small sample of interpreters and clients. The most significant information I gathered related to awareness. Interpreters, it seems, are aware that their gender impacts the client’s message and are taking steps to remedy that. I plan to explore some of these potential solutions within this paper.

We live in a world where communication is significant to help build better relationships and understand others better, even though it can have some positive and negative connotations. The work environment is a difficult place for individuals to communicate because of the competition and judgment people get from other workers. Within the workplace, it is important for those to behave and speak in a professional manner in order for others to see them as assertive. The communication style of men and women creates gender stereotypes in the workplace such as gender role behaviors, social scripts and biological determinism. According to Western Society’s hegemonic norms, the gender binary is given a certain role in which they have to behave to prove their masculinity or femininity, as well as their social scripts. In addition, the idea of biological determinism says that a person’s biology proves his or her own behavior.

In her book Women, Men, and Politeness (2013), Holmes analyzes the differences in politeness between men and women when it comes to each gender’s use of language. According to Holmes (2013), apologies are perceived as negative politeness devices used in order to restore social relations after an act of wrongdoing. This applies to the genderlect theory because of the difference in styles of men and women’s language. The theory suggests that women presume a relational approach in which they seek to interact with others while men use more of an instrumental approach to get things done. In an effort to talk to get things done, men tend to use more formal politeness strategies as illustrated in the following example in Women, Men, and Politeness: