The Day Panic - Original Writing

And then, the day I had feared of most, finally arrived. We lost our father, the only figure I truly felt safe with. After months of mourning and painful transformations, our mother fell sick. In those terrible days, days during which I was locked in the basement most of the time, for my safety and even more: for the safety of my family, I was incapable of helping. To this, I regret even today.

The roaring sound of the clock was not helping either. I felt as if mentally there, wherever I was but, physically I was not. I could here voices, sobbing but I could not open my eyes. “she might not wake up for day or hours” was the last thing I heard before darkness took me away.

My feet aching, I plodded along as cars rushed by. I wondered what the drivers of those cars would be thinking if they saw such a small child walking by himself. As terrible possible situations played out in my mind, I reached the one story building that was my home. For some reason that I will never know, I did not go and knock or ring the doorbell. Reaching the house only increased the horrible feeling in my chest. This was probably one of the strangest things that I have ever done in my life and stands testament to the ability that fear has to completely alter our thinking capacities. Normally, all my life I have been known has fairly level-headed, but now I was reduced to an illogical

The ache in my chest was building, and I felt all of the darkness inside of me build. The pressure was only intensifying and I knew that I had to do something, and quick.

It was dark and alone and I felt the need to cry. One by one everyone I have ever loved showed up. My mom, my sister, my late girlfriend, my grandma… I could go on. Their eyes were on me and only me. I was the only stimulus in the room. The yelled at me. I was irrational . I had put them in a situation where they didn’t even know me anymore. I was the monster under the bed and I was the reason why people were scared. They yelled so loud to the point where I didn’t even know if they were screams anymore.

When I woke up on April 3rd, 2011, I didn’t expect that later in the day, my whole life would be changed forever. I was aware, however that something was wrong.

I crippled down into a pit of confusion and sadness. Although this happened often, it always seemed to hit home hard as the months progressed. I arrived home and tossed myself into the soft comfort of my bed. Curled up into a ball, I tightened and released my grip on my white covers repeatedly, my body slowly dozing in and out of slumber as I watched small ripples in the outdoor pool shine upon my bedroom wall, the moonlight brightening it. Slowly the whispers began developing, and I allowed them. I needed to listen, they crowded my mind and maybe they were all right. So, there I sat in the silence. Jabbled words filled the room, they seemed to be everywhere. Woman, children, and men. I tensed at the words, trying to make out what they were telling me. In the background faint noises played, either from past songs the band and I had developed or ones that just kept coming. Threats or sarcastic remarks, occasional words remembered from my parents or enemies. They kept coming, intensifying by the second, getting louder and louder, until the point where... I snapped. I sat up and screamed into the darkness, pulling at my hair and kicking my feet, as if I were having some kind of a toddler tantrum. My breath quickened and my nose wrinkled, like how it always did when I got worked up. Slowly, and then all at once they stopped. My mind gathered in the silence, and I slammed back down into the pillow, turning my head into it, screaming once more until

Suddenly, something tapped your shoulder, causing you to turn around to see Ryan with a note in his hand and a smile on his face.

me were living with constant fear and apprehension. It felt as though we always had a

Suppose that each day one of the biggest challenges you face is the fear and pain of leaving the safety1 and comfort of your home. Presume you fear that elements around you might trigger flashbacks from your past traumatic experience. Suppose you fear going shopping, to restaurants, and mingling with crowds. Assume that you fear the possibility of panic attacks and emotional outburst. Imagine you are stuck in a mire of emotions, grief, depression, and anxiety. Suppose your old self is gone, and you feel dead inside, without a soul. Suppose an invisible entity is in control of your life.

Driving to Long Beach with my family, I watched the trees and cars zoom past. Suddenly, as my heart began to pound throughout my whole body, I felt my chest and throat tighten and my muscles stiffen. My brain shut out my surroundings and focused on the panic setting in. Sweat dripped down my palms as I gripped the car handle so tightly my knuckles turned white. Disorientation followed and I was consumed by fear, transported to an empty, helpless space. I had passed the thin line that separated composure and panic. By the time we got to the apartment, I was relieved to have a change of surroundings as I stumbled out of the car. I was shaking when I got out and rushed inside the apartment to calm myself down.This was one of many more panic attacks

Fear comes in all shapes and forms, be it a natural disaster, paranormal event, or a dangerous situation, it never fails to give us chills. When i was younger, i had a very scary event happen to me. It was a rainy and windy night and I was facetiming a friend, and she had just told me that there was a man looking into my front door windows, and when i looked up i saw that there was indeed a man in the window. I ran to my mom’s room, she called the sheriff and after they looked around and came back to us, they showed us a picture. The picture was of an outline of a pair of shoes (on our driveway) that were completely dry, even when rain poured on them.

It was around midnight when my mom and I just came back from West Palm Beach. As we were pulling into the driveway to our house, we noticed that both lights we usually leave on, the inside and the outside, were off. We could tell something wasn’t right. Our usual warmed and calmed atmosphere got occupied by a chilly hair-rising breeze. As we got closer to our house, we noticed that it started to look strange as it got colder. As my mom tried to unlock the door, it was already unlocked. Thoughts and scenarios started performing in my head as I started panicking. I felt myself gasping for air, as I tried to brace myself with what we had to face behind the door. It was like I was drowning and the more I moved and gasped for air, the more I sunk in the deep unknown water. Here’s the funny thing, I can’t even swim. I couldn’t even save my own self. As we opened the door, my heart dropped to my feet as I felt the blood drain from my face.

Hands were wrapped around my neck. I couldn 't breathe. I felt something touch my hand and I let out a sob. I tried to calm myself down. This isn’t going to happen again. I

It is dark and cold. I don’t know where I am; I am so afraid right now. I don’t know what to do. I can’t scream because my throat is sore. The walls; they’re closing in on me. I can’t breathe. I am scared, so scared.