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The Dialogue of Teenage Boys Essay

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The Dialogue of Teenage Boys

Beep! Beep! Beep!

That damned alarm, the most hated of Joe’s possessions, began its insistent whining at precisely 7:15 AM on July 5th. A fist groggily snaked out from underneath the Charlie’s Angels blanket and hit the top of the clock. It stopped whining. After some very peculiar movements, the mound of blankets gave birth to a bleary-eyed seventeen-year-old boy. The inhuman apparition staggered towards the bathroom. It paused when it came upon the mirror, seemingly startled by the ghastly visage reflected in the honest glass. Joe groaned, swore, spat and returned to the place affectionately called "The Pit" by the rest of the family.

He visited the bathroom an hour later, reemerging looking …show more content…

Later that day, both boys went shopping for those last-minute items that always come in handy at parties. Joe bought his usual seven or so packets of Doublemint gum and chewed on one thoughtfully while he waited for Ross outside the Chemist. When he finally appeared, Ross was bright red from a mixture of embarrassment and anger. He explained to Joe what happened: "Ah wis standin' at the counter, by masel', a'body else wis looking fur stuff on the shelves. The wummin behind the counter must be wan of the stupidest people alive! Ah did mah usual, Ah said 'Do you have any ASPRIN?' while winkin' and pointin' like a mad yin. Daft bint only brought me o'er a box o' Anadin. So, ah tried again, makin' mah winkin' and such a bit more obvious. Still the fool didnae get it. Aboot five minutes later, wi' a queue behind me, she finally twigs, an says at the top o' her bloody voice, 'Oh, ai get it! You want CONDOMS, don't you?' I swear tae God, every single sod in that shop turned round tae look at me. Ah didnae even stop tae get my cha- Hey! Whit're you laughin' at?"

Joe was virtually having a heart attack on the pavement due to the hysterical laughter shaking his body. Seeing Ross' indignant frown only made the images in his head clearer and started him all over again. Ross calmed down, and began to see the funny side of the situation. "Aye," he said, "It's really bloody funny. But ye

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