The Dichotomy Here By Jessie Likes And Loves Your Parents
1429 WordsMar 15, 20176 Pages
How is it, after all the years of devotion from your family, we now have a daughter-in-law who behaves as though she was attending a funeral when we are around? You have said from the beginning she loves us so much and is fearful of doing or saying anything to cause us to dislike her. Can you imagine going through any of the above stated with your son or daughter?
The dichotomy here is that Jessie likes and loves your parents, but you say she finds your mother 's gestures of kindness and caring as sometimes insincere, intrusive, etc., and senses your mother wants more in the relationship than she. In some sense, your wife finds your parents offensive to her sensibilities. Do you not ponder the facts? At some point, as sweet and…show more content…
We must have loyalty and allegiance to have the characteristics of a healthy functioning family. The problems arose when your wife included only you in her issues regarding your parents. You were triangulated into a third person used to arbitrate or judge. It is never productive for a fully functioning family. If any two people within a family have issues arise it has to remain between them and not involve third-party arbitration. It should always be in private, one on one, and by getting out of one 's comfort zone, even if it is not in the scope of one 's normal behavior. Every family, no doubt, has a dysfunction, but this has been a colossal misjudgment regarding best-laid intentions.
The following quotation aptly describes what you, Dad, and I learned from your grade school psychologist, when he explained triangulation within our family. At that time, you were using this dynamic to pit one parent against the other. ("As leaders, we are extremely vulnerable to being triangulated and it’s very unhealthy for the unity of a company. Triangulation involves a cast of three characters, the villain, the victim and the rescuer. If you are constantly fixing relational problems that others should fix for themselves you are probably being triangulated").
Through the depths of the challenge one breaks through and accepts people for all of their usual, normal, characteristic selves. When there is no empathy for one 's perception of