The Different Theories and Practices of Forgiveness

As I was reading the chapter on forgiveness in Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling by McMinn (2011), the personal life experience that jumped out to me was when I had to make the decision to truly forgive my ex-boyfriend and his parents for the emotional pain they caused me. After living in New Jersey for a month and spending time with my boyfriend and his family, working, and taking care of an elderly lady with dementia my world came crashing down on me. My ex-boyfriend’s parents discovered sin in his life and told me I could no longer pursue a relationship with him because of the sins he had committed. After finding out the sinful things my ex-boyfriend had done, I chose to forgive him. I also chose to give him a second chance at a relationship with me, but my effort to salvage our relationship was futile.

“Forgiveness, assert Fincham and his colleagues, can help restore more benevolent and cooperative goals to relationships” Everett L. Worthington, Jr.(2004). New Science of Forgiveness.

It is also vital to look at Wilson’s view on the practice of forgiveness and how if an individual decides to ignore it, it can place a road block in their process of change. She believes that God speaks about forgiveness for the following reasons:” (1) we are all sinners with whom to relate so we’ll need to become skillful forgivers (2) God makes forgiveness a centerpiece of our healing process because living in un-forgiveness is so much worse (Wilson, 2001).

Sometimes things are better off forgotten so one does not get too caught up in hatred. When the time comes to forgive someone or even oneself, one might find it very hard. The word forgiveness may have different meanings to some people. For example, some people may refer forgiveness as a way to lose weight off their backs. In Into The Wild, Jon Krakauer highlights the importance of forgiving the mistakes one has made, and the actions people around us make. Life’s experiences are not always easy to forget, nevertheless to move on from those experiences

In FYS we were taught many ways to live in the world through the stories we read, speeches we listen to, and the projects we did. In the book, Ordinary Grace, by William Kent Krueger, The Chosen, by Chaim Potok, and Destiny of The Republic, by Candice Millard, I saw a few prominent themes of how one should live. In these three books I learned about the author 's voice through their writings. I saw how one should live their life. In these books the authors shared common themes through their writings. The authors showed how to live life with forgiveness and live life with faith. Krueger and Potok both showed me through their novels how to forgive someone and they did this by showing that there is a bigger picture in

In the book Rediscovering the Power of Repentance and Forgiveness, Dr. Leah Coulter seeks to challenge the conventional Christian approach to forgiveness. Conventional Christianity approaches forgiveness as a Christian duty, and, in many ways, this has been unfair to the victims who have almost been condemned for seeking justice rather than simply forgetting. She asks, "From an all too common Christian view, why must the weight and responsibility of forgiveness be placed on the sinned-against instead of the sinner's repentance?" (Coulter). Therefore, she focuses extensively on the idea of repentance and the duty of the sinner to repent. However, that is not to suggest that Coulter abandons the idea that forgiveness is a Christian imperative, but she attempts to place it within its Jewish context, and demonstrate how other facets of historical Judaism inform the practice of forgiveness and repentance.

Forgive and forget - the motto that is ingrained in all of us from childhood, teaching us to be more compassionate and understanding, and ultimately developing us into better people, right? Perhaps not. While forgiveness is undoubtedly an important trait that enables people to overcome conflicts, where do we draw the line? There are no concrete or established rules on what the acceptable number of times to forgive someone or something is, so how can we define what is too much forgiveness? When does forgiveness go from a sign of your maturity, compassion, and strength, to a sign of your subservience and weakness? How can we be forgiving and thoughtful, without jeopardizing our own self-worth? These are all questions that arise in the memoir

Forgiveness is a powerful word, of which has a powerful impact. But what does forgiveness mean? To what does one owe to be forgiven? Forgiveness is a process that oneself must teach to achieve. The book Left to Tell by Immaculée Ilibagiza exemplifies forgiveness and gives us as readers a new perspective.

As one grows from infant to adult an even elderly age, we experience many events in life. One only grows from mistakes that are inevitable to happen. Like the Yin Yang theory, for instance, shadow cannot exist without light. Therefor forgiveness comes into play, it is defined as the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. In The Sunflower, by Simon Wiesenthal: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness. It discusses the moral ethics of the matter of forgiveness. Questions are asked by Wiesenthal, what would you do? If a dying Nazi soldier asks for your forgiveness? Forgiveness can often be influenced by religious belief, psychological, and political point of view, one is always capable of asking for forgiveness or granting forgiveness to another, granted or not, one makes a choice and lives with that decision.

In the last 15 years, Everett has thoroughly studied how forgiveness and justice collaborate. His interest in this topic peaked after his mother was murdered which at the time was very devastating for him, as can be to anyone. Over time, Everett forgave the person who murdered his mother. Everett fiercely believes the art of forgiveness was passed to them through their mother. Everett had a brother which committed suicide as a result of the agony he dealt with in his mother’s passing. After the commitment of his brother’s suicide, he felt great self-blame and has since studied self-forgiveness

Forgiveness has been defined in many ways by psychologists and researchers with no one universal definition. Hill (as cited in Maltby, Day and Mackaskill 2001) state that it is widely agreed that forgiveness involves a willingness to abandon resentment, negative judgement and indifferent behaviour towards the person who has hurt them Although research is recent, from the last 15 years, it has helped develop our understanding of forgiveness . Research has shown that forgiveness gives positive mental health and prevents the development of mental disorders such as anxiety, depression and stress. Two major models of forgiveness are Enright’s model and Worthington’s (2001) pyramid model to REACH forgiveness. Both these models involve steps and

The article "Self-forgiveness: The forgotten stepchild of forgiveness research" is a qualitative rather than a quantitative study of the phenomenon of self-forgiveness. The authors distinguish self-forgiveness versus forgiveness of an 'other' in an outwardly-directed fashion. They state that self-forgiveness has been under-studied in the existing literature. The beginning of the article is devoted to a literature review of existing writings upon the subject, with using a working definition of self forgiveness "as a set of motivational changes whereby one becomes decreasingly motivated to avoid stimuli associated with the offense, decreasingly motivated to retaliate against the self 地nd increasingly motivated to act benevolently toward the self" (Hall & Fincham 2005: 622).

This client was Christian and from my estimation now looking back was just beginning their walk with Christ and not on the same maturity level that I was at that time in my walk with Christ. At that time I knew how forgiveness first and foremost is obedience to God, and secondly how it can set you free from so many emotional problems, McMinn said, “Forgiveness, in its theological and spiritual context, is profound, life-giving, and transforming. When we remove the religious context and think of forgiveness only as a clinical technique, we risk losing the essence of forgiveness.” (2011, p. 254) After reading this chapter it made me re-live an area in which I was not fully equipped to help client maneuver their way through. This particular chapter has allowed me to see how vital forgiveness is in a therapeutic session, and how it must be used carefully. It is made me aware of how important my Christianity is to forgiveness, but also to assess the level my client is currently on before beginning a session on forgiveness. Reflection

The general topic of forgiveness has received a magnitude of attention and research on a conceptual level in recent years. Hall and Fincham consistently noted, however, that self-forgiveness had little to no empirical study or research documented and believe this is a critical piece to an individual’s overall emotional health. In an effort to stimulate additional research on the

Asking for forgiveness and forgiving to many is the hardest thing to do but we must remember in the book of Matthew (18:21-22) Peter said to the Lord: “Lord if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” In this paper, the chosen case study will give the reader a better understanding of what forgiveness is to Jesus. Forgiveness is a big part of the Bible and if Jesus forgives us of our sins we too must learn to be as forgiving as him.