The, Do You Like Girls Or Boys?

1593 WordsMar 20, 20177 Pages
It seems that each time I come out to someone as transgender it is only a matter of time until they ask the question. Sometimes it’s immediate and other times it takes a few days, but it always follows the same pattern. They look at me. Then down. They’ll open their mouth to ask. Then fall silent. An awkward aura will weigh down the air between us, choking my breath because I already know what they want to ask. I already know the information they are prioritizing. I wait to be freed from the hesitant anticipation. “So, do you like girls or boys?” I always respond the same way. I tell them that question is inappropriate, too narrow, that my gender doesn’t change my sexuality, and it’s personal. All valid critiques, but I never actually…show more content…
I can still find a person attractive, but in the same way one may find a painting or statue attractive, and I still have a sex drive, it just doesn’t ever have a target, and despite it all, I still want a relationship. How I view a relationship, can be considered quite separated from its traditional definition. Really I just want a companion, someone to joke with, and everything else we figure out along the way. I simply desire a deep emotional connection and if that just means a relationship that some else would just call a very close friendship that’s fine. I like to think in that sense, it’s like any other relationship, it would require communication and work, but not anymore than my heterosexual counter parts. I just lack that push. That’s why that question is so hard to answer. It be easy to say “none of the above” and be done, but really, I just have all the options and no guidance. I could like a girl, a boy, or an individual outside that binary, but I don’t “like” in the way the person asking means, or in the way person asking likes. I don’t “like” in the same way a movie hero “likes” the damsel in distress. I’m closer to the robot sidekick searching for a way to connect. My ability to even investigate this part of myself is very new though. When I began hormone replacement therapy as means of physical transition, I had a deep seeded hope that this process would be some kind of sexuality reveal to
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