The Effects Of Forgiveness Therapy After Spousal Emotional Abuse

As I was reading the chapter on forgiveness in Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling by McMinn (2011), the personal life experience that jumped out to me was when I had to make the decision to truly forgive my ex-boyfriend and his parents for the emotional pain they caused me. After living in New Jersey for a month and spending time with my boyfriend and his family, working, and taking care of an elderly lady with dementia my world came crashing down on me. My ex-boyfriend’s parents discovered sin in his life and told me I could no longer pursue a relationship with him because of the sins he had committed. After finding out the sinful things my ex-boyfriend had done, I chose to forgive him. I also chose to give him a second chance at a relationship with me, but my effort to salvage our relationship was futile.

“Forgiveness, assert Fincham and his colleagues, can help restore more benevolent and cooperative goals to relationships” Everett L. Worthington, Jr.(2004). New Science of Forgiveness.

Chapter 21 discusses the Forgiveness and Reconciling Though Experiencing Empathy (FREE) model as a useful model for couple therapy (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). Forgiveness interventions creates a platform to resolve issues that are affecting the ability to maintain a stable relationship. Forgiveness is not an isolated event but a filtration of hurt and emotional pain which takes considerable time to work through (Strelan, 2010). It is very difficult to move past any type of pain. When couples find themselves in a place that the pain seems to not go away then it may be time for interventions such as Forgiveness interventions to support the couple’s effort in relieving the relationship of the hurt and allow it to heal and for them move forward.

Many women and men seek intimate relationships in order to fill their emotional needs of security, safety and love. Their journey starts off with their loved ones spoiling them with flattering gifts and emotional words. The love they feel is so wonderful and deep that they believe that nothing can come between them. They are so happy and convinced that they will live happily ever after with the one they love. Unfortunately, the fairytale they have dreamt about was only temporary and soon comes to an end. The love story they have ones longed for turns into a horrible nightmare. The emotional words they were once spoiled with turn into howling screams and name-calling. The flattering gifts turn into physical abuse. This relationship is referred to as domestic violence or intimate partner violence. This happens when a partner or significant other declares power, authority and control over the other partner. To maintain this authority and control, the abusive partner uses emotional, physical or sexual abuse over his victim (Alters 27). Victims will desperately look for an exit out of this relationship, but only to be blocked by numerous walls of the despair, fear and misery. Many people are convinced that victims have the option of leaving, but they are too weak and they choose not to. What many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers. In most cases the outcomes of leaving are

The cycle of abuse starts when an individual is abused and then the perpetrator feels regret. The guilt leads the perpetrator to ask for forgiveness and engages in positive behavior towards the victim. The victim does not leave the abuse because he/she “perceives few options and feels anxious terminating the relationship with the abusive partner, feels hopes for the relationship at the contriteness of the abuser and does not call the police or file charges.” In addition, after the victim forgives the perpetrator the couples experiences a honeymoon stage. During the honeymoon, stage the victim is optimistic about the relationship’s nonabusive future. After the honeymoon

Hebl and Enright (1993) conducted a study on elderly females who had suffered from various injusticies such as spousal conflict and overmedication to show forgiveness can be induced and with therapeutic goals. Further findings come from Coyle and Enright (1997) who used a forgiveness intervention on males who had been hurt by a partners abortion who found forgiveness lead to reductions in anger, anxiety and grief, therefore forgiving does have a positive effect on mental health. A second study by Al-Mabuk, Enright and Cardis (1995) on students who had been love deprived. In an experimental group where the students went through seventeen steps of the process model had decreased anxiety and improved their attitude towards their mother/father

According to Warshaw, Sullivan & Rivera (2013) notable traumas female victims of domestic violence often suffer from are those of significant mental health distress. Warshaw, Sullivan & Rivera (2013) do acknowledge the severe consequences of physical trauma including nonconsensual marital rape, but assert that it is the psychological experiences of these traumas (shock, chronic stress, terror, confusion, isolation and despair) that can prolong a survivor’s post-traumatic stress (Kubany 2008) and inhibit the ‘growth’ or ‘healing’ process. The experiences of trauma associated with domestic violence can also vary from short-term to long-term and depending on how prolonged the trauma is, a survivor’s recovery could take years; but when taking into account the word ‘recovery’ it is tremendously important to realise that every survivor will grieve for their own trauma and losses differently

Domestic violence is a very important social problem that we must educate ourselves on because it has such a profound and negative effect on the individual(s) being abused. They are affected mentally, emotionally, physically, and I know from experience that the scars can run very deep. Being in an abusive relationship for three years was devastating to my self-image as a teenager, and because of these feelings of inadequacy, my decreasing esteem allowed me to stay in such a dangerous scenario. Healing from the negative effects of that relationship has been a difficult journey for me, and I can only imagine how much more difficult it must be for women abused for years on end. To this day, I struggle greatly with the ability to let go of my own "control"

Every choice that an abused woman considers to do with regards in seeking help or ending the relationship involves a variety of risks. Time and time again, the common question arises, “why doesn’t she just leave?” Most often abused women, at great and potentially fatal risk, do leave their abusive relationships. However, there is a multitude of barriers, including increasing abuse and the potential for re-victimization by the system that does not respond accordingly, and most often force many women to return to their abusers. A woman may become vulnerable as she goes through the stages of leaving her abuser. There are many reasons why a woman becomes vulnerable; guilt, denial, and fear may be among a few reasons, though no matter what the

The article discusses how not choosing to forgive can hinder people from fully recovering. Brief therapy says that it is natural and okay for a person to feel anger toward an abuser but instead of teaching the benefits of forgiveness and letting go of the resentment, brief therapy does not allow the opportunity for reflection and understanding of what happened and why it may have happened. It does not allow the opportunity to find meaning in the suffering of the abuse, and when we can’t find meaning in something we can’t accept it and move on. Brief therapy causes people to dwell more on their anger, making it almost impossible to improve the negative outcomes of the abuse.

This client was Christian and from my estimation now looking back was just beginning their walk with Christ and not on the same maturity level that I was at that time in my walk with Christ. At that time I knew how forgiveness first and foremost is obedience to God, and secondly how it can set you free from so many emotional problems, McMinn said, “Forgiveness, in its theological and spiritual context, is profound, life-giving, and transforming. When we remove the religious context and think of forgiveness only as a clinical technique, we risk losing the essence of forgiveness.” (2011, p. 254) After reading this chapter it made me re-live an area in which I was not fully equipped to help client maneuver their way through. This particular chapter has allowed me to see how vital forgiveness is in a therapeutic session, and how it must be used carefully. It is made me aware of how important my Christianity is to forgiveness, but also to assess the level my client is currently on before beginning a session on forgiveness. Reflection

This study provides a comparison of forgiveness therapy and alternative treatment in females who were exposed to spousal emotional abuse. Reed and Enright (2006) posit clients will achieve greater relief of negative psychological symptoms in long-term recovery with the use of forgiveness therapy in replacement of alternative treatments that have been utilized prior. Reed and Enright state, “the theoretical and empirical literature on efficacious postrelationship, postcrisis treatment for spousal psychological abuse is sparse” (2006, p. 920) suggesting a need for more empirical studies. Reed

The Battered Women Syndrome is a series of characteristics in women who are physically and psychologically abused by an important dominant male in their lives. These women learn helplessness and dependency; sometimes these characteristics originate from childhood. According to Dr. Lenore E. Walker, a woman must experience two cycles, before she can be labeled a “battered woman”. The two cycles are called the “cycle of violence”. This cycle leads to the feeling that the abuse will never stop. It almost becomes natural. Sometimes the relationships will be calm, and the abuser will apologize for what happened. This part is called the “honeymoon cycle”, but at other points in the cycle the tension and

The general topic of forgiveness has received a magnitude of attention and research on a conceptual level in recent years. Hall and Fincham consistently noted, however, that self-forgiveness had little to no empirical study or research documented and believe this is a critical piece to an individual’s overall emotional health. In an effort to stimulate additional research on the

The article, “The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety, and Posttraumatic Stress for Women after Spousal Emotional Abuse”, by Gayle L. Reed and Robert D. Enright, is a research study about the effects of forgiveness therapy. The study compared forgiveness therapy with alternative treatments, such as anger validation, assertiveness, and interpersonal skills, to provide an efficient treatment for emotional abused women.