The Family System Of Dynamics

(Baumrind 1966). I have come to realize that my parents and grandparents had this same parenting style. I have realized that I am repeating the cycle and I must break the cycle because if I do not them my children will continue this same cycle as an authoritarian parent instead of an authoritative parent. I would never want to be a permissive parent. This parenting style you are not teaching your children structure. “There are not held accountable for their actions”. (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). As parents we must teach our children there are consequences for our actions. If you do not apply any boundaries or rules as they get older they will feel like the rules do not apply to them. “Permissive parents will cause their children to be dependent, immature, and misbehave frequently.” (Coon & Mitterer, 2016). I believe some parents are like this because they want to be their child’s friend. It is okay to be their friend but there must be some type of guidelines in place.

The parenting style in the home will result in differences in the children’s behavior. For example, an authoritarian parent is controlling, punitive and strict. Their rules are not flexible and do not tolerate expressions of disagreement. These

Permissive parents allow complete freedom to their children and there is very little discipline visible. Permissive parenting was “Popular in the 1950’s and 1960’s” because of all the troubles going on during WWII. (5) They like to tell their kids “One more time…” whenever the kids do something bad. An example can be if Timmy asks his parents if he can go to a party. They tell him he has to be home by 10pm. Then his parents tell him the limit is 10pm. Then he suggests 12pm and because they do not want Timmy to be angry with them they let him do whatever he wants. Permissive parents have a fear that their kids will not like them. Unlike authoritarian parents, permissive parents make rules but they never enforce the rules. The children in this parenting style are usually immature, dependant, aggressive, and unhappy. They do not do well academically because of their inability to regulate to the school rules.

understanding the rules do not apply to them, letting them do as they please (Thomas 2). Permissive parents do not typically

Often times, children of permissive parents are manipulative. This is because the parents submit to their children if they act out. Children of permissive parents are impulsive, the children do not learn how to control themselves. Children brought up by this parenting style “do slightly worse in school during adolescence and are more likely to be aggressive and somewhat immature in their behavior with peers and in school”

• Uninvolved parenting: children of uninvolved parents develop a sense that other aspects of the parents’ life are more important than they are. The child often attempt to provide for themselves, sometimes halt dependence on the parent to have a feeling of independence and mature beyond their years. Child from this environment often withdraw from social situations, this also impacts there relationships later on in life and they show patterns of truancy and delinquency.

Authoritarian parents normally do not interact with their children in positive ways and usually install fear into the child. Punishment is usually harsh and given without explanation. Children with authoritarian parents are often anxiety- ridden. Studies have shown that these children have lower self- esteem, show high aggressiveness and typically do less well in school. Permissive parenting consists of high nurture and acceptance, but these parents lack structure and control. These parents look at their children as “free spirits” who need space to learn and grow. Permissive parents are usually inconsistent with discipline. Children with permissive parents normally are impulsive and irresponsible. These children also lack any self- control since none was expected (Sclafani 47).

Permissive parents: their reaction is bad because they cant allow child to do what he/she wants

Authoritative parents “set standards, but also give their child choices. They recognize the good things that their child does, but they do not overlook the bad things. These parents are more confident and nurturing. They set standards that their child can meet. Usually, this type of parenting leads to a positive self-image in the child (Black, 2008). Permissive parents “do not control their children, it is more like the other way around. There is no discipline, and the child grows up knowing they can get whatever they want. When the parent does try to discipline, the child doesn't take it seriously. These parents give in easily and avoid confrontation whenever possible” (Black, 2008). In general American parents raise their children to have an individual personality, and to be independent from a very young age. “Firm disciplines are directed toward the infant and these are gradually relaxed as the child grows” (Suzuki, 2000).

Authoritarian is only one of three parenting styles that Baumrind details. The other two styles include authoritative and permissive. These two variations in parenting styles were seen in the way my relatives and friends’ parents approached parenting. I observed how the parents of my close friend handled parenting. They maintained control over aspects in my friend’s life like school and chores but allowed the freedom to make decisions in areas of social activities. The most striking difference between my parents and my friend’s is the use of reasoning and the expression of warmth. Her parents provided justification behind their commands and or punishments while maintaining a sense of love and affection. The bond and love that is evident between my friend and her parents is not as strong in the relationship between my parents and me. The style that her parents exhibit is known as authoritative because of their focus on some parental control, use of reasoning and warmth. While on the other hand, my cousins raised their children in a completely different manor using a permissive parenting style. While they provide obvious love and affection towards their children, they fail to exert control and regulations. They did not have any real sense of rules in their household. Their children tend to act and do whatever they wanted with little to no repercussions.

Neglectful/Uninvolved parenting is known to be the worse form of parenting that one can use to bring up his or her child. Unlike the other forms of parenting, neglectful parenting involves a parenting process where the parent is rarely concerned with the physical or emotional growth and development of the child. Parents, using the neglectful parenting style do not respond to the child’s behavior. Additionally, as compared to the authoritative parenting style, in neglectful parenting, there is no effective communication or relationship between the parent and the child. There are no family ties or bonding between the parent and the child. Consequently, the child fails to get the parent's care and love thus missing the physical and emotional needs.

Indulgent parenting indulges in what their adolescent is doing. However, they have very few restraints on them or none at all. According to Santrok (2015) says, “Indulgent parents allow their adolescents to do whatever they want to, and the results is that the adolescents never learn to control their own behavior and always expect to get their way” (pg. 267). Even in the school settings they expect to have their way. Parents need to monitor their adolescents; this stage is critical in them making decisions that can affect them for a lifetime. In this stage they are exposed to different peer influences. Majority of the time peer influences are negative and can lead to devastating things. Authors of How Variations in Parents’ Use of Confrontive

First, let’s discuss the un-involved parent, this parent doesn’t demand much from the child and is not responsive to the child’s needs, thoughts, or feelings. They don’t set limits or enforce rules for the child. The reasons for the lack of rules could be that they are focused on fulfilling their own needs, or they may just neglect the child completely. A parent using this style may say, “You just wait till your father gets home,” if the child does something wrong, or they may completely ignore the behavior. This type of parent would rarely express approval, acceptance, or show affection toward the child. The child with this type of parent has a higher probability of having low self-esteem, being less intelligent, and they also have a higher chance of suffering from anxiety, mental health issues, and problems socializing.

Permissive parenting can best be described as having high levels of responsiveness but low levels of control and strictness. These “parents are very responsive and adopt supportive behaviors towards their child; on the other hand, they give the child a high degree of freedom, do not fix many rules and do not promote discipline.” (Dailey, p.342). These types of parents can be seen and nontraditional and lenient; they allow their children to self-regulate and the parents try to avoid confrontation. (Amiri, p. 21). This parenting style allows for the child to become independently and think creatively but does not give the child direction leading them to learn from their mistakes or in many cases get into problem behavior as they age.

First, let’s discuss the uninvolved parent, this parent doesn’t demand a lot from the child and is not responsive to the child’s needs thoughts or feelings. They don’t set limits or enforce rules for the child. The reasons for the lack of rules could be because they are more focused on fulfilling their own needs, or they may just neglect the child as a whole. This type of parent may say things like, “You just wait till your father gets home,” if the child does something wrong, or they may completely ignore the behavior. This type of parent would rarely express approval, acceptance, or show affection toward the child. The child with this type of parent has a higher probability of having low self-esteem, being less intelligent, and they also have a higher chance of suffering from anxiety,