The Fear Of Rejection Is The Most Prevalent And Underlying Of All Fears And Risks Of Intimacy

So I decided to interview my son Chevon Berrios which at the moment is seventeen years old. His father and I separated when he was three years old. We didn’t get divorced until he was twelve years old. I asked Chevon how does he feel about relationships. Chevon began to say that he doesn’t really want to get into a relationship because he doesn’t want to be heart broken. Due to him witnessing his father and I divorce. Chevon explained that when his father and I separate he didn’t know what was going on but he knew something was wrong. All he knew was that his father went away and he didn’t see him for years. Chevon came to the realization that his father was now a stranger to him and growing up without the both of us made him feel incomplete. Growing up with only one parent wasn’t normal to him. According to this view the absence of one parent from the household is problematic for children’s socialization. Following divorce, many children experience a decrease in the quantity and quality of contact with the noncustodial parent.(“Journal of marriage and the family,” n.d). Education plays an important role when it comes to the success of a marriage.

The end to a marriage is tragic and its effects ripple throughout the lives connected to that couple. Chaos and stress, probably feelings that have been there for some time before the divorce, impact the now divided family. Children in particular are vulnerable to the effects of divorce. Sol R. Rappaport, clinical and forensic psychologist, claims there are five factors as to why children have difficulties post divorce; exposure to parental conflicts, mental health of parents, the involvement of the now secondary parent, financial impact of the divorce, and the child’s perception on why the divorce occurred. With their brains not fully developed, children are unable to process and understand such conflict in relationships, so they resort to alternative ways of expressing their heartache and confusion. The effects of divorce vary depending on multiple factors, however most children experience behavioral and emotional issues that further impact their daily lives. The fact is that the divorce of parents remains with children, to some degree, all of their lives.

The statistics for divorce in the 1990's suggest that nearly sixty percent of marriages end in divorce. Given this startling figure, the assumption can be made that many children will experience some effects caused by the life-changing event called divorce. What is it exactly about divorce that causes negative consequences for these children? In what ways will these children be effected? Will these effects show outwardly? I will attempt to uncover some of the complexities surrounding these psychological questions in the following text. The unsettling fact is: young children of divorced parents face great psychological challenges due to the environmental conditions and changes associated with divorce (Wolchik and Karoly 45).

There are instances where divorce is essential. In cases such as verbal or physical abuse of a spouse or child, divorce may be the only solution. However, the negative effects of divorce have a large impact on family structure. Divorce can be very stressful for young adult children, with a sense of increased responsibility to their parents and a vulnerability to loyalty conflicts with both parents. In addition, this article proclaims that young adults may experience a sense of loss of their family home, abandonment by their parents, and a concern

A qualitative study showing how childhood experiences of attachment and separation can affect relationships in adulthood.

The scholarly article “The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children: A Review,” by Judith S. Wallerstein, explores various studies conducted by psychologists over a twenty year span, about the long term social and psychosocial difficulties experienced by children of divorce. The majority of the research for this particular topic discusses how the problems for these children began long before the actual separation of the parents, a theory that had not been previously researched in full until these studies. After reading the article, it is evident, that often the divorce itself is the last resort of the quarrelling parents. By waiting several years before finally breaking off the failed marriage the parents are unintentionally

However, even the parents themselves do not seems to take into consideration the devastation that can impact their children. Some researchers argue that people do not terminate their marriages for reasons of escaping a disruptive relationship or abuse but only for a quest for personal growth, (Amato, Sep. 2001), then the issue should be the concern for the well being of the child and what that separation and subsequent divorce would affect the children. That same research also included a longitudinal study and incorporated evidence that indicated that a majority of recent divorces were not preceded by an extended period of

Divorce is comparable to an epidemic since it has been filtering through many societies at an increasingly alarming rate. According to the most current statistic, there are more than 2.1 million marriages in the United States (“Children of Divorced Parents”). Out of those, almost half end in divorce. Divorce nowadays is extremely common. In fact, in America there is one divorce every thirty-six seconds (National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends”). Each year over a million American children suffer from the divorce of their parents (Amato 24-26). Even though it might be shown to benefit some individuals in their own personal case, for the majority it causes a decrease in an individual’s life and puts many people “on a downward trajectory from which they might never fully recover” (Amato). Over long term, the United States divorce rate has been on a rise since 1980, which means more children being affected (Macionis). These children that are affected are faced by emotions of anger, confusion and even fear. These emotions affect their academic performance, social interactions, behavior, self-esteem and other negative effects. This literature review is important in calling attention on the current research studying impacts of divorce on children. The topic of divorce is a wide-ranging topic. However, this particular literature review focuses only on the effects that divorce has on children. The data presented in this paper is collected from

R., & Greene, S. M. (2011). “My child and I are a package deal”: Balancing adult and child concerns in repartnering after divorce. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(5), 741–750. doi: 10.1037/a0024620.

A comprehensive review of research from several disciplines regarding long-term effects of divorce on children yields a growing consensus that significant numbers of children suffer for many years from psychological and social difficulties associated with continuing and/or new stresses within the post divorce family and experience heightened anxiety in forming enduring attachments at later developmental stages including young adulthood. Different conceptual models in the field are explicated. Major lacunac in research, particularly around issues of public policy, are identified. The critical importance of expanding clinical research to enhance understanding of the child's perspective and experience is proposed.

Regarding divorce and its affects on attachment theory, Rogers (2004) reviewed how divorce often leads to the separation from an attachment figure and the affects this has on a young child. The interruption in development of the parent-child relationship seems to be most harmful to children under the age of six post-divorce. The separation can cause a disruption in the development of an attachment figure (Emery, 1999). Risk and protective factors that are commonly associated with post divorce adjustment in young children were also looked at. The experience of parental divorce may possibly affect the way an adult recalls early relationships and with parents. This appears to have an adverse impact on participants' recollection of early bonds but not on current adult attachment orientations (Lopez, Melendez, 2000).

Around 50 percent of all marriages in the United States today end in divorce (Cherline, 1992; Popenoe, 1996, as cited in Potter, 2010). There are several contributing factors. Infidelity, addictions, abuse, lack of intimacy, conflicts, finances, and changes in views of success, priorities and interests could all be reasons marriages fail (Payne, Olver, & Roth, n.d.). Divorce not only impacts the married couple, but also their children. Children may experience many mixed emotions when internalizing the divorce. This group proposal will evaluate the behaviors that children may display when going through a period of family breakup. In addition, I will discuss how group counseling may benefit adolescent children in coping with divorce and strategies that may help limit unwanted behaviors.

Parental divorce often decreases the level of trust that a child of divorce finds in a relationship. Children whose parent’s have divorced exhibit a fear of being rejected by those they become close to, and often distrust that their friends, family members, or significant others will remain loyal and close. This lack of trust often hampers any deepening in the relationship, and is believed to be the result of having a dysfunctional example of a marital relationship set before them. Many children of divorce have reportedly been less trusting of their own or a partner’s fidelity, and have had difficulty in fully committing to or “choosing” one person.

“Since 1972, more than a million youngsters have been involved in a divorce each year” (Zinsmeister). When one reviews the countless ways that divorce affects children, this statistic becomes overwhelmingly depressing. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. How did society get to this point? Divorce has become so normalized in the culture today that many people do not even realize the harm that divorce is causing children on a daily basis. Even what most people would consider to be the least harmful divorce situation possible is typically still wreaking havoc on a child’s life. Studies done by sociologists have found that divorced couples describe being happier and more satisfied than individuals who stayed in unhappy or failing marriages (Issitt). However, what these researchers fail to realize is that the children in these families are being negatively affected by their parent’s actions. A recent study showed that “As many as 25 percent of teens whose parents divorce end up depressed or abuse dangerous substances” (Gallup). Parents need to grasp the fact that their happiness is not the only important factor to consider in situations of divorce. The child’s emotional, physical, and psychological wellbeing is at stake when a couple decides to divorce. Divorce often negatively affects children by causing emotional trauma and guilt, behavioral changes, financial difficulties, and eventually problematic future

The need for acceptance always comes with the fear of rejection. The need for acceptance is a powerful motivator, but the fear of rejection can be even scarier. We can all think of a time where we were rejected, and when thinking on that memory, and I bet you can still feel the sting. “Fear of