The Fear Of Rejection Is The Most Prevalent And Underlying Of All Fears And Risks Of Intimacy

The scholarly article “The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children: A Review,” by Judith S. Wallerstein, explores various studies conducted by psychologists over a twenty year span, about the long term social and psychosocial difficulties experienced by children of divorce. The majority of the research for this particular topic discusses how the problems for these children began long before the actual separation of the parents, a theory that had not been previously researched in full until these studies. After reading the article, it is evident, that often the divorce itself is the last resort of the quarrelling parents. By waiting several years before finally breaking off the failed marriage the parents are unintentionally

Human rejection is a negative phenomenon that has persisted throughout the entirety of human existence. It is present everywhere we go and there is no escaping it. The concept of human rejection is one that lead to the creation of Dante’s Inferno and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein proving that this phenomenon has persisted throughout history although it may not have been known as rejection centuries ago. Both of these literary works of art show how dire the consequences of human rejection are and give us lessons to learn that are applicable to todays society.

A qualitative study showing how childhood experiences of attachment and separation can affect relationships in adulthood.

Regarding divorce and its affects on attachment theory, Rogers (2004) reviewed how divorce often leads to the separation from an attachment figure and the affects this has on a young child. The interruption in development of the parent-child relationship seems to be most harmful to children under the age of six post-divorce. The separation can cause a disruption in the development of an attachment figure (Emery, 1999). Risk and protective factors that are commonly associated with post divorce adjustment in young children were also looked at. The experience of parental divorce may possibly affect the way an adult recalls early relationships and with parents. This appears to have an adverse impact on participants' recollection of early bonds but not on current adult attachment orientations (Lopez, Melendez, 2000).

There are instances where divorce is essential. In cases such as verbal or physical abuse of a spouse or child, divorce may be the only solution. However, the negative effects of divorce have a large impact on family structure. Divorce can be very stressful for young adult children, with a sense of increased responsibility to their parents and a vulnerability to loyalty conflicts with both parents. In addition, this article proclaims that young adults may experience a sense of loss of their family home, abandonment by their parents, and a concern

Around 50 percent of all marriages in the United States today end in divorce (Cherline, 1992; Popenoe, 1996, as cited in Potter, 2010). There are several contributing factors. Infidelity, addictions, abuse, lack of intimacy, conflicts, finances, and changes in views of success, priorities and interests could all be reasons marriages fail (Payne, Olver, & Roth, n.d.). Divorce not only impacts the married couple, but also their children. Children may experience many mixed emotions when internalizing the divorce. This group proposal will evaluate the behaviors that children may display when going through a period of family breakup. In addition, I will discuss how group counseling may benefit adolescent children in coping with divorce and strategies that may help limit unwanted behaviors.

R., & Greene, S. M. (2011). “My child and I are a package deal”: Balancing adult and child concerns in repartnering after divorce. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(5), 741–750. doi: 10.1037/a0024620.

As we stated earlier, age is not a safeguard to the effects of divorce (Oppawsky 2). While adults may be more able to understand their feelings and seek the support they need, they are still subjected to the emotional and mental consequences of their parents’ divorce. In Wallerstein and Lewis’ study on the “Legacy of Divorce” many of the adult children recalled their own feelings of shock and unhappiness at the time of the separation and it’s aftermath. Almost all remembered feelings of loneliness, bewilderment, and anger at their parents. Many cried as they recounted their history and their childhood fears that would be forgotten by their preoccupied parents. Some even claimed that their childhood ended when their parents separated. When these children reached young adulthood and when love, sexual intimacy, commitment, and marriage took center stage, many of them were haunted by the ghosts of their parents’ divorce and were frightened that the same fate awaited them. They feared their own commitment (Wallerstein and Lewis 359-360). In fact, children of divorced homes are more likely to experience marital instability and a slight elevation in their own divorce rates. Many of the parental divorced children also found that their parent’s actions were actually causing problems amongst their own children. They often felt lost

“Since 1972, more than a million youngsters have been involved in a divorce each year” (Zinsmeister). When one reviews the countless ways that divorce affects children, this statistic becomes overwhelmingly depressing. Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. How did society get to this point? Divorce has become so normalized in the culture today that many people do not even realize the harm that divorce is causing children on a daily basis. Even what most people would consider to be the least harmful divorce situation possible is typically still wreaking havoc on a child’s life. Studies done by sociologists have found that divorced couples describe being happier and more satisfied than individuals who stayed in unhappy or failing marriages (Issitt). However, what these researchers fail to realize is that the children in these families are being negatively affected by their parent’s actions. A recent study showed that “As many as 25 percent of teens whose parents divorce end up depressed or abuse dangerous substances” (Gallup). Parents need to grasp the fact that their happiness is not the only important factor to consider in situations of divorce. The child’s emotional, physical, and psychological wellbeing is at stake when a couple decides to divorce. Divorce often negatively affects children by causing emotional trauma and guilt, behavioral changes, financial difficulties, and eventually problematic future

For couples with children divorce can wreak havoc on family relations. The behavior of children can change rapidly, in Cherlin (1993) it has been stated that, “children whose parents separated or divorced displayed more behavior problems and performed more poorly in school than children whose parents remained married” (para. 3). It is important to note that each child is affected differently and relationships with parents will not always be bitter (Cherlin, 1993). The personal source is a friend of many years whose parents divorced when she was very young. Her brother was also very young at the time of the divorce; each of them as male and female reacted differently to the divorce, just as it has been seen in many studies (Alex Pringle, Personal Communication, May 10,

A comprehensive review of research from several disciplines regarding long-term effects of divorce on children yields a growing consensus that significant numbers of children suffer for many years from psychological and social difficulties associated with continuing and/or new stresses within the post divorce family and experience heightened anxiety in forming enduring attachments at later developmental stages including young adulthood. Different conceptual models in the field are explicated. Major lacunac in research, particularly around issues of public policy, are identified. The critical importance of expanding clinical research to enhance understanding of the child's perspective and experience is proposed.

However, even the parents themselves do not seems to take into consideration the devastation that can impact their children. Some researchers argue that people do not terminate their marriages for reasons of escaping a disruptive relationship or abuse but only for a quest for personal growth, (Amato, Sep. 2001), then the issue should be the concern for the well being of the child and what that separation and subsequent divorce would affect the children. That same research also included a longitudinal study and incorporated evidence that indicated that a majority of recent divorces were not preceded by an extended period of

So I decided to interview my son Chevon Berrios which at the moment is seventeen years old. His father and I separated when he was three years old. We didn’t get divorced until he was twelve years old. I asked Chevon how does he feel about relationships. Chevon began to say that he doesn’t really want to get into a relationship because he doesn’t want to be heart broken. Due to him witnessing his father and I divorce. Chevon explained that when his father and I separate he didn’t know what was going on but he knew something was wrong. All he knew was that his father went away and he didn’t see him for years. Chevon came to the realization that his father was now a stranger to him and growing up without the both of us made him feel incomplete. Growing up with only one parent wasn’t normal to him. According to this view the absence of one parent from the household is problematic for children’s socialization. Following divorce, many children experience a decrease in the quantity and quality of contact with the noncustodial parent.(“Journal of marriage and the family,” n.d). Education plays an important role when it comes to the success of a marriage.

The need for acceptance always comes with the fear of rejection. The need for acceptance is a powerful motivator, but the fear of rejection can be even scarier. We can all think of a time where we were rejected, and when thinking on that memory, and I bet you can still feel the sting. “Fear of

Parental divorce often decreases the level of trust that a child of divorce finds in a relationship. Children whose parent’s have divorced exhibit a fear of being rejected by those they become close to, and often distrust that their friends, family members, or significant others will remain loyal and close. This lack of trust often hampers any deepening in the relationship, and is believed to be the result of having a dysfunctional example of a marital relationship set before them. Many children of divorce have reportedly been less trusting of their own or a partner’s fidelity, and have had difficulty in fully committing to or “choosing” one person.