The Girl 's Sense Of Desire

In the article “Toxic Masculinity Is Killing Men: The Roots of Male Trauma,” Kali Holloway explains why the ideal of masculinity is so unrealistic and harmful to men. Holloway also gives many studies and writings to back the idea that to be a strong man you have to suppress feelings and pain. In these studies, it proclaims that both men and women start off equally feminine as babies and that these ideas are taught to boys and girls as they grow up learning how to “be a man.” Holloway goes on to say that masculinity is not just taught by parents, but also taught through television and movies that portray men as masculine and strong. There are many examples given showing the ways men release their stress differently than women. This makes it

In return, complexes, such as masculinity or femininity, become prisons, entrapping those inside and thus causing them to police their own thoughts and actions in fear of “falling short of essential ideals” (Gay 172). Society embraces this polarity and creates a divide between male and female, looking down upon any ambiguity between the two.

Each attachment style is divided along two dimensions – the fear of abandonment and the fear of closeness. Bartholomew and Horowitz define fear of abandonment as the model of self which describes the belief of an individual to be either “worthy of love and support or not” (1991). They also define fear of closeness as the model of other which describes an individual’s

For a long time, men and women have been dealing with the controversy of gender roles. In modern day, the battle for gender equality has been more known. In the story “Guys Suffer from Oppressive Gender Roles Too”, the author Julie Zeilinger explains how males are held to a more macho standard, but do have prevalent emotions. If we were to let go of these rigid rules about what is manly, there would be no standard for any gender. If that was reality, men shouldn’t have to feel humiliated about staying home, and if their companion makes more money than they do. Zeilinger talks about how males detach themselves from some emotions, and live a “life nub to a true range of human emotion” so they can meet this masculinity standard. However if males

Psychologist Phillip Shaver expanded upon Bowlby’s theory too and stated that the attachments formed in one’s infancy extend to adult romantic relationships (Feldman, 2011). According to Shaver, securely attached adults enter into romantic relationships confidently and happily. They also tend to be supportive and sensitive to their partner’s needs. Those who have avoidant attachment style tend to be less into relationships and feel lonelier. Ambivalent or anxiously attached adults tend to be too invested in their relationships, have low self-esteem, and often are intrusive rather then helpful when

The mind is shaped by those with which one surrounds him or herself. This is a result of the human desire to see oneself in others as a tactic to relate and discover commonalities. The inclination to build relationships and connect to other humans is so strong that people become dependent on external gratification, even in environments where acquaintances do not necessarily reflect a person on the most basic level: sex. Due to overpowering masculinity, women oftentimes submit to the ideals of their male counterparts and the societal expectations pushed onto them as women in a patriarchal society. Jesmyn Ward’s Salvage the Bones displays that the feminine inferiority complex is not innate, but rather is informed by external forces.

From an early age, our society begins to construct gender identities. Males are pressed to learn “suitable” gender roles in accordance to the masculine expectations our society has created. This means from a very early age boys are taught what it means to be a man. Porter’s way to explain masculine socialization is through what is known as the “man box.” Inside the box is a list of socially valued expectations that compose what manhood is about. The box includes expectations/guidelines such as, “don’t cry or openly express emotions (with the exception of anger), do not show weakness or fear, demonstrate power control especially over women (aggression dominance), be a protector, do not be “like a woman,” be heterosexual, do not be “like a gay man,” be tough, athletic, and strong, do not need help, and view women as property/objects.” This idea of manhood is instilled in young boys head and continues to stay with them for the rest of their lives. A fear

Attachment refers to the degree to which an individual is close to non-deviant others, including, family members, friends and peers. One’s willingness to conforming to norms and expectations is dependent on how attached they are to others. This element goes on to extends

The insecure/preoccupied anxious attachment style preoccupied, and they seek approval from their partners. They tend to extremely clingy; consequently, pushing the person away with their self-doubts and insecurities. Individuals who have fearful/avoidant attachment style tend to have suffered abuse or sexual abuse, and they want close relationships, nonetheless they cannot bring themselves to be intimate with other people.

There are several different attachment styles. Secure is an attachment style when an individual feels confident and has trust in their relationship. Avoidant is an attachment style when an individual is unsure about getting into in a relationship. Anxious attachment style is where individuals demand closeness and have trust issues.

This brings light to what author Santrock discusses in the book as gender roles, which is “a set of expectations that prescribes how females and males should think, act, and feel” (p.163).

As a boy grows into a man he faces the ever-raising mountain of masculinity. In regards to the occurrence, he finally reaches maturity he has no choice but in order to fight to retain his measly sense of manhood. He is not allowed to act feminine or else he’s not man enough, he can’t show his emotions, he has to hide that he can do anything a woman can do sans give birth. Boys grow up being told they are not allowed to cry and that they are supposed to be tough, that they are not able to be like girls and in the event that they are then they are not real boys. This concept is known as toxic masculinity, some people are not aware that men are being forced to suppress their emotions or even that toxic masculinity should be a topic that is

At the beginning of the course the class was introduced the concept of attachment styles. Attachment styles are the types of behavior displayed in relationships shaped by a two-part set of basic assumptions, conclusion, or core beliefs about one’s self and others. In laymen’s terms it is how one person interacts with another either God, spouse, child, friend, or even self. There are four different types of attachment styles and they are: secure, ambivalent, disorganized, and secure. The relationship style that all should aspire to be a secure attachment style, however I would classify myself as having an ambivalent attachment style. This is the attachment style where I believe I am not worthy of love since I am flawed. It also takes the assumption that I will not be able to get the love I need without being angry or clingy.

After this recognition of this dissimilarity, the female believes that she is at a great disadvantage and she resultantly wishes to acquire a penis. The theory also explains that small girls feel sensitive over the lack of a sex organ equal to the boy’s, and holds herself to be inferior on that account. Freud’s describes that “three lines of development diverge from penis envy, one leads to sexual inhibition or to neurosis, the second to a modification in the sense of masculinity complex, and the third to normal femininity” (NLA Ch.5). The usage of this explanation as a way to characterize feminine psychology has spurred many negative criticisms of Freud’s work on female psychology, and most people have now realized that this his theories were very inaccurate.

The assumption is that girl babies really are different from boy babies and the difference ought to be displayed. This different treatment continues throughout life, therefore a sex difference at birth become amplified into gender difference as people mature (Schwartz 4). Gendered experiences have a great deal of influence on sexual desire. As a boy enters adolescence, he hears jokes about boys’ uncontainable desire. Girls are told the same thing and told that their job is to resist. These gender messages have power not only over attitudes and behavior, such as, whether a person grows up to prefer sex with a lover rather than a stranger, but also over physical and biological experience. For example, a girl may be discouraged from vigorous competitive activity, which will subsequently influence how she develops physically, how she feels about her body, and even how she relates to the adrenaline rush associated with physical competition. Hypothetically, a person who is accustomed to adrenaline responses experiences sexual attraction differently from one who is not (Schwartz 5).