The Glass Of Champagne

Today, as the rain was tapping on my window, I stared out at the storm clouds casting shadows onto the long green fields of spring. As I was watching as the grass and the leaves in the trees on the horizon sway with the wind, my mind was recalled to a time that I’ve been trying to hide away for a long while now.

Months ago when he first stepped outside, the bright rays of light almost blinded him. He raised a pale hand to his face in a petty attempt to shield himself. Now under the dying sun, he could see the city in its entirety. When the surrounding area grew darker, red and orange lights that brushed over the streets began to grow in intensity. Walkers on the sidewalk began to flourish in their own happiness as they hurried from their jobs and into the weekend.

I was shocked when I first heard I was pregnant. I had recently drifted away from the first cherished, writing husband like a weathered plastic bottle drifting into the ocean. It was a simple good bye; we both knew it would not work out. Five years after the first marriage, I was adamant about finding another person to share my struggles professionally. I felt lonely, suddenly reminded of my nomadic life – my seasonal commute between rural

"'Why'd you lie?' he said quietly. We were alone in the kitchen. I swallowed. He was a

If the birds were chirping, no one would have known as the rumble of engines stuck in the heavy London traffic never seemed to cease. If there weren’t buildings blocking the view of the far off horizon, one standing at the apartment window would see the pinks and oranges that painted the sky with the rising sun. Instead, there was no more than a faint pink glow peeking out above the buildings, fading as it met a blanket of dull grey cloud.

Our plan was after I healed from my C-section and Malaki was at least 6 months old I would be going back to college. Of course, things do not always go, as we want them to. It was May 28, 2008. I had just had Malaki 13 days before. It was a normal day. I was nursing Malaki and Keith called to say he had just gotten off work and was on his way home. He had a great job installing insulation. As I put Malaki down in his bassinet, I could have never imagined in less than one hour and less than one mile from home my family’s lives and “our plan” would change forever.

“Two!” tears starting slowly forming in his eyes, but he shook his head, forcing to hold them back, he didn’t need their memory of the time Phil proposed to be with him crying.

Steve laughed –I can think of worse things than being stuck with you- then added –Don’t be so hard on yourself, you did what you thought was the best for your child. Although it wasn’t a very good

“No we need to go now. Get in the truck,” he instructed me. I reluctantly walked out, telling the kids we will be back soon. So we drove to the doctor, got the news, and drove home. Immediately I walked out to the barn to start cleaning. There hasn’t been a dust storm in weeks, so I was hoping it would last a little longer. I had rejected going to the doctor for so long. I was already a few months into pregnancy. I didn’t know how I could hide it from my children but I didn’t want them to worry about

An inner strife between wanting the idea of a child, but realizing either they weren't prepared or didn't actually want the child in

I had to question him. There was no way that I could go without knowing why he chose me any longer. "But why me and not any other girl?"

He then revealed to me that he would like to have children within the next couple of years and progress in our relationship. Being only 21 at the time, I revealed that I wasn’t ready for those types of commitments and began to fear for our

Clary and I were walking around on the beach. It was our first day in Maui,Hawaii. We

Once more, I still haven’t missed the sarcasm lacing in Aomine’s voice as we walked along the same street in the autumn rain endlessly falling from the twilight sky. Along the street, from the ebbing afternoon light in the sky, the tall skyscrapers and cars with their flashing lights seemed to fade in the gray color.

Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope begin chapter 1 of their book titled It Starts At Home: A Practical Guide to Nurturing Lifelong Faith, with the following two sentences, “If you’ve ever been part of a loving, healthy family you have smelled the sweet aroma of heaven. If you’ve ever lived in a troubled, broken home you have breathed the foul stench of hell.” For many couples, having children can be the most pleasing experience they will ever have in their marriage. Unfortunately, for many others—those that are unable to cope with the stressors children bring to a marriage—will view the experience as a detriment to their marriage. For some just deciding when to have children can be a marriage stressor. For others, an unexpected pregnancy can cause tremendous stress in a marriage. Parenting requires a change in lifestyle and brings with it many challenges to a marriage. Those couples that think they are prepared soon find out that there is no way to prepare for all that raising a child entails. For those that are not prepared or did not get the chance to adequately prepare, there will be times when their commitments to each other will be tested.