The Grandmother And Connie's Lack Of Communication

“Between two brains, there will always be misunderstandings and lies caused by parasitic smells, drafts and poor-quality reception.” This quote states that people can misunderstand a situation without an effective communication, which can lead to false ideas or thoughts. In the novel, A Yellow Raft in Blue Water by Michael Dorris, many of the characters do not have good communication, while also keeping secrets from one another. In the novel,the three main characters have different perspective of one another. Rayona thinks her mom does not care for her, and Christine believes Aunt Ida never loved her, along with Ida not telling the truth about her past.

The reader is almost forced to look at the actions of the grandmother as being similar to that of a young child. There's not a quiet moment with her around and she never sits still. The reader tends to have a negative perception of the grandmother due to these personality traits. However, these traits are expressed in a comical way causing the reader to be annoyed by the grandmother, but also entertained.

The beginning of the short story enlightens the reader into the relationship that Connie has with her mother. Connie’s mother does not agree with her admiration for herself. This is due to Connie’s mother’s own insecurities. Oates writes, “Her mother had been pretty once too, if you could believe those old snapshots in the album, but now her looks were gone and that was why she was always after Connie” (Oates 3043). Connie was aware that her mother was jealous of the way she looked and envied her young adolescence. Her mother was nagging her daily and constantly comparing her to her sister. The constant comparison and nagging left Connie to deal with internally judging herself. Oates expresses Connie’s strong unhappiness with her mother by stating “…but around his bent head Connie’s mother kept picking at her until Connie wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over” (3043). Connie’s frustration with her mother lies deep within her internal judgments. She repeatedly obsesses over her mother’s words and desires attention from older males. Even though she does not feel as if she fits in with her sister June, there are some characteristics that she likes about her sister. One of these characteristics is that June is older. Since June is older, Connie is allowed to go out when her sister does which allows her to embrace her rebellious adolescence. She wishes she was older and battles with her internal misconception of her age. In the story, Connie is at an age where she is experimenting with her surroundings. Young girls are regularly comparing themselves to their friends and their elders. The obsession of comparison leaves Connie continuously striving to be better and to increase her attractiveness. Her misconceptions suggest to her that she needs to be more sexual. Her varying internal conflicts leave her with a void that she tries to fill otherwise.

In Joyce Carol Oates’s, “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been”, character development is a key element throughout the story. As the main character, Connie is a very dynamic character as the story progresses. In the beginning, Connie is a very vain and frivolous character, giving the reader a negative impression. But, as the story continues, the reader learns about Connie’s indifferent and neglectful family and how popular media raises her, rather than her own family. This leads the reader to understand Connie’s personality better, and how the lack of love from her family makes her like this. By the end, Connie performs a heroic act, in which she saves her family by offering herself

Connie does not have any control over what people do to her, however, the criticism she takes from her mother whenever she compares her to her sister June combined with her mother’s insults gives Connie a low self-esteem and insecurity about herself; she thinks she is “less worthy” because of this and makes her think her beauty is everything, that she is nothing without it.

Besides Connie’s shallow self-absorbed character which is the result of her relationship with her friends, her relationship with her family also attributes to Connie’s self-absorption and shallow attitude. She never feels she is good enough for her parents. Her mother constantly

After spending time with her elderly relative, the girl sees that the worst thing you could do to another person “is to make them feel as if they are worth nothing” (Ortiz 3). This ordeal causes her to learn that what she says and how she behaves could be hurtful and upsetting to others. Because of this event, Connie would most likely become more thoughtful of them. In addition, the teen starts “to consider a number [she] hadn’t thought much about” (Ortiz 3) and begins to understand Abuela better. The girl feels terrible and sorry since she had made her grandmother feel like she was worthless. Zero becomes a more significant number to her life, and she realizes that she should not act towards others like she had. In conclusion, Constancia’s experiences with her grandparent made her more mature and considerate, changing her self-centered

If not thought about or read over more than once, the fact that Connie’s father was almost a phantom in her life might be missed. In this era, fathers in particular were not very active in their children’s lives, daughters especially; they were the mother’s problem. This same idea carries over to the father of Connie’s best girlfriend, who after driving them to the stores or movies “…never even bothered to ask what they had done.” (Oates, "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"), the name of the story is also a question that should be asked of any daughter by her father. The fathers in question here display a sense of total apathy to the question of what their daughters are actually doing. These fathers came from a time in the 40’s and 50’s when men worried about men things and woman issues were exactly that. Men and in particular fathers of that time made no effort to be involved in their daughters lives as they are today. Oates noticed that issue in society and attached it to her work in this story although minutely. The main conflict in Connie’s life is trying to balance a fine line between the way she acts at home in front of her mother, and her secret wild side which she only shows to her friends and the boys she meets. Oates’ characterization of Connie is that of a round character, one of intense

Joyce Carols Oates highlights the importance of developing relationships in families. Connie’s future could’ve had a completely different outcome if she would’ve been raised with attention, love, and communication. Arnold would’ve never had the opportunity to manipulate her if she had her family’s protection; however, that was not the case. Connie’s family must live with a guilty conscience knowing that her kidnapping could’ve been avoided if only they were less neglectful towards

The characterizations of Connie’s family members have great effects on Connie. And onnie’s mother’s characterization is the main motivator for Connie’s rebellion. She always compares Connie with June, who is the “ideal daughter” in her eyes, and blames Connie for some little things, such as improper dressing and not having a tidy room. Oates suggests that the reason for Connie’s mother prohibiting Connie to dress up like an adult is that “ Her mother had been pretty once too” (Oates 1), but now “her looks were gone and that was why she always after Connie” (Oates 1). Therefore, she is jealous about Connie’s beauty and feels uncomfortable when seeing Connie wear beautiful outfits. Meanwhile, she likes June so much because June is obedient and plain, which makes her feel that she is dominant in the relationship. In the short story, Connie’s father is not given much description by the author, but his characterization has an effect on Connie as well. The irresponsible father spends little time with family and seldom has conversations to his daughters. When hearing his wife’s complain about Connie, he just bends his head with saying nothing, which makes Connie feels ignored and lonely. Urbanski states that “The father, who spent most of his time at work, is weak” (Urbanski 200) to reveals the father is not an active figure in his daughter’s life. Therefore, lacking of the company and communication of family members, Connie becomes upset. In addition, Connie’s sister June, who has the opposite characterization, is also one of the reasons for Connie’s rebellion. In Connie’s eyes, June is a

A boy is dragged to the grocery store by his mom. Every aisle he passes he pulls something off the shelf and pleads to his mom, “Can I get this please, please, please, please?” Of course the mom says “no” and ignores the interests of her child. The boy becomes upset that her mom won’t let him get anything he wants and for the rest of the shopping trip, there is tension between the two. Similarly, in the passages Confetti Girl by Diana Lopez and Tortilla Sun by Jennifer Cervantes, both narrators are having conflict with their parents. Lina and her father don’t see eye to eye; likewise, Izzy and her mother don’t see eye to eye over a problem. In Confetti Girl and Tortilla Sun, both narrators’ conflicts create tension between themselves and their parents.

Modern society has equipped young girls today to resist a predator by providing an education n the signs of a predator, as well as giving self-defense skills and awareness of predators. A. Friend’s name is symbolic and ironic because predators commonly appear as friend’s to their victims. Connie saw A. Friend as an admiring friend who wanted her attention, and therefore was able to get Connie to trust him quickly despite the fact he was a stranger to her.

In "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been," Joyce Carol Oates presents Connie, a fifteen year old teenage girl who lives her life pretty much in a daydream. Like many teenagers Connie is very self-absorbed and care nothing more than how pretty she looks. Connie’s, mother scolds her for being so arrogant of herself and naïve to the world around her. Her mom wants her to be more like her older sister June. Connie pretty much hates her life and is so miserable that she would rather be dead. Because of how much her and her mother argues, Connie often tries to escape by going out to what her parent think is just a trip to the mall with a girlfriend. Instead Connie and her friend are sneaking off to a drive-in restaurant meeting boys. Connie wants

The mother begins to rebel against tradition by taking an active role in educating and freeing herself. Through her radio, telephone and trips out with her sons she develops her own opinions about the world, the war, and the domination and seclusion of woman. She loses her innocence as a result to her new knowledge and experience.

Connie is a pretty girl, and “her mother had been pretty once too”, but she is not so much anymore and almost anything Connie does aggravates her (Oates 369). This rigid relationship pushes Connie further away the older she gets. Everything about Connie has “two sides to it,” her shirt “would look one way at home and one way when she was away from home”, she was not fully herself anywhere she went (370). This act shows the way Connie lacks a sense of self. She feels as though she has to behave differently when she is with her family compared to when she is with her friends. The fact that Connie does not have a positive relationship with her mother has a direct effect on how she acts as a young woman. The lack of support and positive attention from a female role model leaves her seeking it out from other