The Hardest Decision Of My Life

Mother is long gone. Even though she died nearly 3 years ago I still feel empty. Ever since, it has been my responsibility to take care of grandmother even though she believes I’m the one who killed her only daughter. This is why she refuses to live with me, she thinks I’m going to kill her as well because I have cruel vengeance against them for taking me away from my father at such a young age. They thought he could never change from his old ways. But truth is that it is unknown of how she died but it was too much of a coincidence to grandmother that me and mother were in a fight and we were all alone in our small house right out of town, all I remember is running up to her room after hearing a loud crash and all that was left of her was gone. The police gave up the investigation knowing 100% sure that she was dead by the amount of blood that was left behind by her thinking she would have bled out before she

I walked away feeling like I was a complete failure and that I didn’t deserve to go on. On the way home my mother tried to talk to me, but, I put on my headphones and cried silently. Once we were home my father asked how it went. The tears that were in my eyes and they became more evident as my shoulders and chest were shaking and trembling. The only sound in the room was the sound of me crying and wailing. I started crumbling and falling to the ground and my mother and father rushed to my side. They held me until the tears came to a stop and a little bit afterwards

My grandma was my superhero with her genial personality and her ability to give you her full, undivided attention in order to listen to whatever you had to say. It was always my dream to be able to share both my high school and college graduation with both my parents and grandma and being able to later pay them all back for all their sacrifices. Towards the beginning of my sixth-grade year my grandma became unexpectedly sick and as months passed her health slowly began to deteriorate until she fell into a vegetative comatose for the next four years. My grandma’s sudden illness came as an unexpected surprise which leads to my mom and her family having to take turns in order to care for my grandma throughout her extensive hospital visits and inhome medical care. Throughout those four years both my emotional and mental health took a hit as I tried my best to learn how to deal with her sudden illness and the fact that my mom was rarely home because she was either in the hospital or at my grandma’s house in order to help take care of

I could not help but think that I may forget and leave her in the car, or rush out the house and leave her home alone. I know that may sound crazy, but I always doing things that. I remember my mom telling me everyday that if my head was not already attached to my body, I would lose it. It's crazy because in health class we did the whole egg baby project, and needless to say I left my poor little defenseless baby egg on the school. Since that day, everyone would always tell me that a baby would not be for me. But regardless of how I felt, this baby was coming into this world whether I wanted it too or not. I have no choice but to grow up, accept responsibility and get prepared. So instead of relaxing and hanging out friends, I went to college and work and saved the money to prepare for the few months that I could not work.

It was late February in 1998 when I found out I was expecting another child. I was 16 years old. It should have been a happy day it was my daughter’s 1st birthday party and everyone was there. The house was full of family and friends and smelled of chill and cake. Please don’t get me wrong, it was a happy day for the most part until I found out I was pregnant. Scared and not knowing what to do, I kept this what most would call exciting news to myself. You see I was dating a man and he was not a very nice person he was mentally and physically abusive to me most of our relationship and he was the soon to be father. A month or so went by after I told him and we were both somewhat excited him more than I. I was more scared then anything. He managed to get himself into some legal trouble and was sent away for a long time. Where did that leave me? I was scared to death

I found true love, but our reckless bliss was short lived. I began to get sick. I was constantly nauseous and unable to focus. Given my many responsibilities, I could not afford to be sick--why was I sick? I had classes and events to attend and fully participate in as student body vice president--why could I not keep my bearings? I began to panic. What was wrong with me? After several visits to my doctor, I found out that I was pregnant. I was 22, in a new serious relationship, a senior in college, and no money. This was the biggest challenge I had ever

First of all, having an abortion or termination is a personal choice and it 100% the woman’s decision. Yes, I did want my boyfriend’s option. Even though at the time I felt a little pressured by my boyfriend and mother, I can see now that it was really for the best not only for myself but also for that child. One way to look at it is that being a mother you have to do what is best by your children, if

My plan worked and, in the midst of an excruciatingly painful labor, I had a moment of pure clarity about the process. I was suddenly struck by how utterly amazing it was that I was capable of conceiving, growing and birthing a child. My body was so abused and broken throughout my struggle with anorexia I wasn't sure it would ever be strong enough to allow this magical moment. Giving birth proved that my body was strong and well healed; a transformation I often see in my clients but fail to recognize in

We had heard that I-10 heading west was a gridlock, so we were very grateful that my Dad knew to try Hwy 90. We never were stuck in traffic like others had, so I didn’t have to suffer a long boring car ride. Once we arrived at the hotel in Houston, my mom went to check us in while the rest of us stayed in the car. After about thirty minutes my mom returned to the car crying. She then explained to my dad that the hotel had over booked their rooms and gave our room away. When I saw my Mom crying, I started to wonder what was going on. At the age of five, I could not understand why all the hotel rooms were occupied and there were none available for us to stay in. I immediately became scared because I could see the look of fear on my parents’ faces and I knew that they weren’t sure what to do. It was now nine o’clock at night and my parents and myself were tired, and we didn’t know what to do next. My parents then decided that the best thing for us to do is to drive around Houston and hope we could find an available room. We finally found a room at the Marriott in downtown Houston that was available for us to stay in for three days. My parents became very nervous wondering how we would pay for

When I got home my mom would yell at me and what not, because I was in a sport she really didn’t want me in anything I never knew why. My feelings would be hurt I would cry every day and night non-stop because I feel like I’m not loved by my own mom. She use to hit me for no reason at all I was sick of her non-sense and craziness, so I finally told my grandma and she was very upset with her asking her why she always putting her hands on her grandchild for no reason . I always wanted to live with my grandma because she spoils me and i got mostly anything I asked for, so I asked my grandma can she take me in for full custody or at least try to work some out because I hate staying at home with that lady. She said yeah, she will think about it so so we went to court the next week and my grandma won full-custody of me because my mom ended up not showing up at all and boy wasn’t I happy. My mom was sad, but at the same time I had to do what was best for me, she would call and check up on me every now saying how she sorry for hurting me and believing that I couldn’t be nothing in life then, I would say it’s too late now to say sorry you should’ve thought about that before all of this got this far, so she started crying and I felt really bad but I guess that’s

At the age of 22, I found out that I had cervical tumors. My mother had asked the doctor if there was anyways I could ever have a baby, in the future. His answer, very unlikely. A week later, I went to the doctor’s office to get blood work and to get ready for my surgery. I was getting the tumors removed. Two days later, I was told I could not get the procedure done. I was pregnant. Very excited and shocked, hung up the phone and drove to my boyfriend at the times house to tell him the news. After four months of excitement. He told me he was getting to attach to the baby and left us both. About two months later, I meet a guy. He was nice, funny and was willing to take on the responsibly of being a father. We got married a few months later.

That was definitely the most emotional experience of my life. I ultimately chose to end the pregnancy as soon as I found out. I am not mentally ready nor financially ready to have a baby.

I suddenly heard my phone start ringing and when I looked down I knew it wasn’t going to be a good call. The call was from my Aunt Michelle, this woman HATES talking on the phone. She would rather text you or not talk to you than to talk on the phone with someone. When I answered the phone she immediately sounded very concerned. The first thing she said was “Please sit down I have something to tell you.” She then proceeded to tell me that my mom had been in a very serious wreck in her truck on the way to Blackshear, Georgia and that she was being life flighted to a hospital in Jacksonville, Georgia and that it was not looking good. She wasn’t responsive and was losing a lot of blood.

My older sister called me “have you talked to Mommy? No, why? She is not answering her phone. Okay I will keep calling her phone. Unfortunately, Mom forgot where she lived, she lived alone, a hundred miles from the nearest relative. When I spoke to her on the phone, she sounded feeble, my sister suggested we move Mom to Los Angeles, closer to my sister’s apartment, Mom declined. I called my oldest daughter, “Kich, I will pay you whatever you make in a day to go and see about your Grandmother”, she replied “Mom, you don’t have to pay me to go see Grandma’. Kich called me “Mom, Grandma is so thin, she says she forgets to eat, I fixed her some soup, and watched her eat. Okay, what is the plan, we moved her back to Philly, to her house, where my younger sister and her husband live, she continued to drop weight, however I suggested a in-home health assistant to fix meals and sit with my Mom, my sister and my Mom declined, I told them both I was coming to get my Mom if she did not eat, I received a call from oldest sister, stating my cousin said my Mom was picking up weight. It is so easy to forget that are parents are aging, I never thought my Mom would forget her way home, or forget to eat, I was ashamed, because I took it for granted that she was

All I wanted was a new life for my mom and siblings. My mom would honestly have new appearing bruises on her everyday. But it seemed like no one really paid no mind to it. She would try telling someone about it. But no one really listened. Not even her own sister would.People would just say she puts the bruises there herself just to get attention. When all she wanted was help. My mom would called the cops. But every time she did she knew it would just get worse. I never knew why she wouldn't leave. But not until my father came home so mad to where he pushed my mom down the stairs. Which lead her to go to the hospital. She was pregnant with my little brother at the time. Which caused her to bleed and be in a lot of pain. But thankfully nothing happened to him or her. When she was rushed to the ER. My aunt came over to watch us. She asked us serverel question on how it happened. But my dad told her she tripped. But my aunt knew better. She saw the look in our eyes. I knew she was concerned but I also feel like she felt guilty for not listening before. Well that's what I like to think. But she still didn't do anything about