The Importance Of Favorites In The Family

Each child has his or her own personality. Typically the firstborn is a natural leader, while the last is always the baby, but what about the overlooked middle child? The middle child can sometimes feel lost in the crowd when it comes to family dynamics. They crave their parent’s attention and are willing to do anything to believe they have it, but immediately close up when it comes to conflict, they become people pleasers. They will do anything to make their parents, or others, happy. This makes the middle child a skilled peacemaker and negotiator (Varma, 2013). They are amazing listeners because of the fact they hate conflict,

In the texts “That That Elusive Birth Order and What it Means for You,” and “How Birth Order Affects Your Personality,” the authors give their interpretation on the importance of birth order in siblings. The author of the first text, Susan Whitbourne, stresses the unimportance of birth order. Conversely, Joshua Hartshorne, the author of the second text, says that birth order is significant to personality, but there just has not been enough evidence until recent studies.

In “that Elusive Birth Order Effect and What it Means for You,” the author, Susan Krauss Whitbourne, explains that she does not believe your “actual birth order,” really affects your behavior or position in your family. “Your actual birth order need not have the same impact on you as the birth order you believe you have,” (Whitbourne ll 25,26). “Actual” birth order, or ABO, is the numerical rank order in which you are born into your family or origin and “psychological birth order, or PBO, is your own perception on your position in the family.

According to Alfred Adler, the birth order of the children in a family will largely affect how they age and the personalities which they will form. First borns enter the family as the only child. They revel in the love and full attention from their parents, that is, until the second baby comes along. Suddenly, first borns are dethroned and lose the undivided attention they are used to receiving. As a result, they tend to develop a strong sense of responsibility and protectiveness over their siblings at an early age, which often leads to them becoming authoritative adults. Moreover, when there are multiple children in the family, parents will set high

I am a middle child. I am not the assertive, naturally confident first-born, nor am I an attention-seeking youngest child; I am the quiet, quintessential middle child. For the first 16 years of my life, I was always an afterthought to the craziness of my two sisters, and I loved it‒ it made me independent and self-reliant. I have always been very comfortable being the easy-going child, happily accepting anything that comes my way. Never have I felt that my parents loved me any less; they merely had to worry less about me than they did my siblings, with their stubbornness and constant desire for affirmation. I easily slid under the radar, preferring to mind my own business and handle problems on my own. There was never anything wrong with my

Almost all of us are familiar of the Birth Order theory that Alfred Adler presented almost a century ago. Adler theorized that our personalities are hugely influenced by our chronological place in the family because

Birth order refers to the order in which children are born into their families. Common examples of this include the first-born, second-born, youngest and the only child. Birth order is considered to have profound lasting effects on the psychological and behavioural development of children. For this reason, it is essential to study birth order and its impacts on children within families in Canada because it reveals more about the individual in society. A child’s birth order is incredibly influential in regards to their upbringing, shaping their personality and how they grow up to be as individuals. First-born children generally have a great amount of pressure and responsibility placed on them. The youngest children of families

First born children who later have younger siblings may have it the worst. These children are given excessive attention and pampering by their parents until that fateful day when the little brother or sister arrives. Suddenly they are no longer the center of attention and fall into the shadows wondering why everything changed. They are left feeling inferior, questioning their importance in the family, and trying desperately to gain back the attention they suddenly lost. The first born child can become “problem children, neurotics, criminals, drunkards, and perverts” (Cloninger, 2008). However, on the flip side, the first born usually are the peacemakers of the family even though they are a pampered and spoiled child.

Though, birth order illuminates a majority of our personality traits and decisions such as, career and romantic relationships. Parents get wrapped up in the ‘firstborn haze’ and overlook how much pressure they put on older siblings. By creating a pressure to be the best and ‘in control’ the older sibling takes on the leadership role and often becomes more aligned with doing better in school than younger siblings. Determination and intelligence correspond with higher level of career, and that is just what the older sibling strives for. In fact, “100% of astronauts who’ve gone into space were either eldest children or eldest sons” (State). Relationships work better if partners differ from each other and aren’t in the same birth order. The competition can be detrimental and problematic. Alfred Adler’s birth order theory provides us with useful information to reflect our decisions and explain how you think about things. By becoming aware of it we can become more familiar with ourselves and get out of the all too familiar comfort

First, an article by the Huffington Post mentions that the youngest child is the “life of the party”. Parents are already confident in raising a child that when the youngest is born, parents are more likely to be more lenient and not pay as much attention to you compared to your older sibling. Research also says that the youngest has more freedom, and is not necessarily expected to do anything (Gross, 2013). What actually occurred in this family is exactly what research says. Laney has always been the outspoken one within the family, and when growing up she always got what she wanted. Over the years, she shows the personality of a youngest child with relying on parents, and letting her sister have more control. Thirdly, what was hypothesized

The article “Strategic Parenting, Birth Order, and School Performance” explored the topic of birth order and parenting practices and its effect on academic success. Hotz and Pantano (2015) found that as birth order increased parents would be less inclined to punish their child for bad grades resulting in greater academic achievement. Both the

I think being the oldest it the best. I say this because well I am the oldest but not only that its almost as if you’re on a higher pedestal than the other siblings. As it states in the article “ Being right, controlling often important,” that totally describes the relation of being the oldest. I like to be the caregiver most of the time and would do anything to help others. It almost a “motherly” instinct kicks in. It says in the article Birth Order that the youngest child expects others to do things, make decisions, and take responsibility. That goes for in our house, my little brother Casey acts as if he were helpless and relies on others for things. He is very capable of doing things but he doesn’t think he has to since he is “The Baby”

The oldest child plays an inimitable role in the structure of her family. She has a propensity to be confident and often craves her independence at an early age. She sets the standard for her younger siblings and realizes that her actions are observed closely by impressionable eyes. This accountability often instills in her a drive to act in a respectable and responsible manner. As the oldest child in a family of eight, I have been persistent in regarding these characteristics and have enabled them to shape my identity.

Having both parents within the family constellation is a benefit to a child, but difficulties can arise if rolls are missed or impaired. If the child is pampered, he or she is left incapable of taking care of him or herself, and ultimately fail to become independent thus adding to the deprivation of the family. This derives from a sense of entitlement where in the boy’s case, he grows to get married, and seek for this wife to take care of him the same way is mother did. The girl, who is typically pampered by the father, will expect to get everything from her husband.

The family unit across the globe is valued by almost all cultures as the most important social structure in which humans form the tightest bonds. Now significant evidence to suggest that within the family structure the relationship and interaction between siblings is the most impactful relationship of a human’s lifetime. Researchers have only recently become interested in the unique relationship between siblings. Siblings have been found to advance one another’s social, emotional, and cognitive development (Mcguire and Shanahan, 2010). Researchers are now are posing the question, “Are our relationships with our siblings the most important of all?”