The Influence of Parenting Styles and Attachment Styles on Relationship Designs

Everyone has an attachment style from which they developed in the first two years of their life. This attachment style tends to stay consistent with each person throughout their lifetime and affects their social-emotional development, and thus relationships with other people. Attachment styles greatly affect the choice one makes in life partners, and how they parent their own children. It is important for everyone to gain insight on their own attachment style if they are to know their emotional limits and how to strengthen their flaws in order to develop a better-self and stronger relationships with other people (Norcross, 2011). It is even more so important for caregivers to be aware of their attachment style and how sensitively available they are to the children in their lives. How the primary caregiver responds to the child’s needs, determines the attachment style the child will acquire. To develop a secure attachment the child needs to establish confidence in a reliable caregiver. In this paper I will be talking about the behaviors and interactions that I observed while watching the film “Babies”, and what attachment styles may be formed as a result of those interactions.

Mary Ainsworth is known for her ‘Strange Situation’ (Custance 2010) studies with children. Her theory was that the quality of an infant’s attachment depends largely on the kind of attention the infant has received. She observed the attachment styles of children, mostly aged between 12 and 24 months, by placing them in an environment and recording their reactions to their mothers (or primary caregivers) leaving the room and then returning. Based on these observations Ainsworth concluded that there are different types of attachment. Three types of attachment are: ‘anxious-avoidant’, where the child shows little upset with the stranger, but will avoid contact with the parent on their return. The ‘securely attached’ child is one that will show moderate levels of proximity seeking towards the parents and is upset by their departure but deals with the parents return positively, often returning to play. The third type is the ‘anxious-resistant’ child; greatly upset by the parent’s departure and on reunion seems angry and will not be comforted or picked up (Custance 2010).

Infant attachment is the first relationship a child experiences and is crucial to the child’s survival (BOOK). A mother’s response to her child will yield either a secure bond or insecurity with the infant. Parents who respond “more sensitively and responsively to the child’s distress” establish a secure bond faster than “parents of insecure children”. (Attachment and Emotion, page 475) The quality of the attachment has “profound implications for the child’s feelings of security and capacity to form trusting relationships” (Book). Simply stated, a positive early attachment will likely yield positive physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development for the child. (BOOK)

It been found that is psychologically healthy for adolescents to be attached to their parents. John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth argue that secure attachment in infancy is central to the development of social competence (pg. 274). Insecure attachments can lead to difficulties in relationship and developmental problems. The book defines secure attachment as an attachment pattern in which infants use their primary caregiver as a secure base from which to explore the environment. It also defines insecure attachment as an attachment pattern in which infants either avoid the caregiver or show

Another concept through which the presenting issue can be examined, is by focusing on Brian and Steve’s attachment style with their family of origin. Bowlby (1979) deliberated that in-order for babies to survive, there is a biological drive to seek proximity to the primary caregiver. An individual’s ability to respond, process elements of their dynamic environment and store these internal representation in their neurobiology to aid survival, forms the premise of attachment theory (Perry & Pollard, 1998). There are four attachment styles: secure attachment, avoidant attachment, ambivalent attachment and disorganised attachment. The characteristic of behaviour in individuals varies significantly between each styles. A securely attached

In 1979, developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth conducted an experiment with infants to determine if they had insecure or secure attachment to their mothers. In what she called a “Strange Situation,” babies had to cope with their mothers leaving the room and being left alone with a stranger. The ones who cried at first, played with the stranger, and then were happy when the mother returned were deemed to have secure attachment. Those who could not cope with their mother’s departure or begrudgingly ignored their mother upon return, were considered to have insecure attachment (Ainsworth). Later on in life, these infants were studied again.

Strengths of attachment theory are that interaction between a care giver and an infant (Berghaos, 2011). This theory made us understand the importance of responding to an infant’s cry can help them form an attachment (Berghaos, 2011). This led us to understand Ainsworth idea of that interaction as a secure base for the infant (Berghaos, 2011). Critics have said that some early attachments do not become consistent throughout the individuals life (Berghaos, 2011). They believe that attachment theory is too simple to explain adult relationships and psychopathology (Berghaos, 2011).

The first relationships we form with our caregivers forms a pathway in which we continue to follow in future social interactions as we get older. This initial emotional bond, whether secure, insecure or ambivalent, typical is formed with our mom and dad, is known as attachment. John Bowlby, presented his theory regarding the stages in attachment development in 1969. In the primary stage of preattachment, beginning from birth to around six weeks of age, occurs when newborns develop sensory preferences that allow them to form connections with the primary caregiver, typically the mother. In the second stage, attachment in the making, infants develop a form of stranger anxiety and can distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar faces.

An infant with a secure attachment style has a natural bond with their parent, where they are able to trust them, at the same time leaving their side to discover and explore their surroundings. In an insecure/resistant attachment the relationship the child has with their mother or caregiver is very clingy, thus making them very upset once the caregiver is away. When the mother or caregiver is back they are not easily comforted and resist their effort in comforting them. In an insecure/avoidant attachment the infant is, “indifferent and seems to avoid the mother, they are as easily comforted by a stranger, as by their parent” (Siegler 2011, p.429). Lastly, the disorganized/disoriented attachment is another insecure attachment style in which the infant has no way of coping with stress making their behavior confusing or contradictory. Through these brief descriptions of the attachment theory, many researchers have defined the turning point in which each attachment definition can have an influence on one’s self esteem, well-being and their marital relationship.

As humans, building relationships between others is a form of connecting and communicating. It is a social situation that is experienced every day through the course of a lifetime. The initial relationship that is made is between the mother and the child. This bond that connects two people is known to be called attachment. The theory of attachment begins at birth, and from that, continuing on to other relationships in family, friends, and romance. Attachment is taught through social experiences, however the relationship with the mother and her temperament are the key factors in shaping the infants attachment type, which

Attachment theory can be described as having the strongest theoretical influence in the studies of an infant-parent relationship (Bee and Boyd 2003). Lindon (2005) argues that attachment is central in any discussion of a child’s social development: ideas and perspectives have varied since the mid-twentieth century however the consistent theme that emerges through is that early experiences matter. Lindon (2005) puts forward a general definition of attachment suggesting that an attachment is, “…a bond of

By responding with care and comfort, this enables for an “attachment bond” to form between the infant and caregiver, most commonly the mother (White et al., 2013). Following on from Bowlby’s theory, Mary Ainsworth investigated the theory of attachment through observing the reactions of infants when their mothers left them alone with strangers. The investigation was named as the “Ainsworth’s strange situation assessment” (White et al., 2013). It was discovered through this investigation that infants who had secure attachments with their mothers were upset when separated and were easily soothed when the mother returns. This investigation implies that infants with secure attachment to their mothers show signs of normal social development.

Attachment Theory is usually where a child bonds with their mother (caregiver) the emotional bond enables them to connect to a person. Conversely the bond may not be mutual for example the infant maybe attached with their caregiver this usually is their mother but the mother may not knowledge the same emotional bond to the child according to Bowlby 1969 and Ainsworth 1973. Having the bond between them it is known to have healthy attachment relationships, building a good mental health as they grow into adults. The attachment they was established by the British D John Bowlby. Bowlby stated that the bonds of relationships tend to form at the earliest ages giving the child a better chance to of surviving in the world. General the caregiver would provide their infants with basic needs to develop this then creates the infant to feel sense of secure bond and become dependable towards their caregiver according to Bowlby 2005, p151.

A child’s interaction with caregivers can affect them for the rest of their lives. Attachment and parenting styles play a role in a child’s personality, social, and cognitive skills. It is important for adults to understand the severity of attachment and positive relationships with children.

Attachment theory is a concept that explores the importance of attachment in respect to direct development. “It is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space” (Bowlby, 1969; McLeod, 2009). It is the relationship that develops within the first year of the infant’s life between them and their caregiver. The theory also relates to the quality of the attachment that is shown in the behavior of the infant (Rieser-Danner, 2016). Attachment theory shows that infants need a close nurturing relationship with their caregiver in order to have a healthy relationship. Lack of response from the caregiver