The Issue Of America 's Public Schooling

2075 Words Nov 13th, 2014 9 Pages
As America charts its course into the twenty-first century, we as a people are faced with a new array of challenges unique to this great nation. Should we put a man on Mars, or build colonies on the Moon? Should we attempt to solve world hunger, or instead focus our efforts on finding cures for cancer, AIDS, and cerebral palsy? Should we preemptively murder the entire cast of Jersey Shore before their final season, or let our ordained punishment for abusing the term “bro” run its natural course and pray for forgiveness? All pressing questions, to be sure, and all worthy of consideration. But as a concerned American citizen and future Supreme Emperor of the World, I feel that there is no more compelling crisis currently facing this nation than the Iranian Question. And no, the Iranian Question is not, “where is Iran?” The failures of our nation’s public schooling I will discuss in a future proposal. For those of you either unaware of world affairs or already sound asleep after my first sentence, allow me to summarize the current state of American-Iranian relations in a brief and culturally-hip manner: remember that scene in The Dark Knight where Alfred explains to Bruce Wayne that “some men just want to watch the world burn?” but it sounds so very profound because it’s in a British accent? Well, let’s apply that nugget of English wisdom and say that the Iranian ayatollahs are a religiously-zealous Joker playing with fissionable-grade uranium instead of knives, and the…
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