The Lies We Tell Ourselves Essay

Lying has is a part of our culture, and it seems as if not a day goes by where you do not lie at all. Our world could not exist as it does, if we lived in a society in which lying did not exist. However as humans, we are prone to lying, because of our need to protect ourselves, or the ones close to us, that we turn to lying in order to either make our lives easier or to avoid problems. Humans have adapted over time into societies where lying is an evolutionary advantage, which has made it a part of our DNA. Even children, as soon as they can talk, are using deception as a way to get what they want, and these children have not even had a chance to learn to lie. Lying also continues throughout our entire lives, because it is not something that we can help, it is a part of who we are. When evaluating the argument Stephanie Ericsson makes in “The Ways We Lie”, regarding the reasons we chose to lie, however it is also important to consider extending the argument to include the idea that lying is not only a daily occurrence, it has also become imbedded into human nature.

“Rape is unique. No other violent crime is so fraught with controversy, so enmeshed in dispute and in the politics of gender and sexuality… And within the domain of rape, the most highly charged area of debate concerns the issue of false allegations. For centuries, it has been asserted and assumed that women “cry rape,” that a large proportion of rape allegations are maliciously concocted for purposes of revenge or other motives.”

Lies have been around for as long as people have been. We all lie, whether it is to protect someone we love of to cover up something we don’t want others to know about, it is still lying, and we all do it everyday. Lying has become the new normal for our modern society, so much so, that some of us have lost our morals completely. It is just so much easier and quicker to just lie to someone than to tell the truth, and now you can never tell who is lying to you or who is telling the truth. People use to have morals about lying and many people would feel bad about it and teach their children to never lie, but now in today’s society they just pop out of our mouths like they're nothing. We will never stop lying because it’s easier to live a lie

In 50 Essays: A Portable Anthology, Stephanie Ericsson’s essay “The Ways We Lie” focuses on the many ways society lies today. “We exaggerate, we minimize, we avoid confrontation, we spare people’s feelings, we conveniently forget, we keep secrets, we justify lying to the big-guy institutions” (159). It is common for many people to think of lying exactly how it is on the surface, not telling the truth. Ericsson’s essay forces you to second guess this stereotype and begin to realize that lying is even more prevalent in today’s society than most people might imagine. Looking around today with this mindset would help us make more informed political decisions, better decisions on friends, and better “next-step” positions. Our lives are not horrible places, but better steps for these areas of our lives could improve our lives dramatically.

After reading both stories, I found that I enjoyed Stephanie Ericsson’s, “The Ways We Lie” the most. This story was very interesting and made me think of many different things. I did not realize that there were so many different ways to lie. I was guilty of doing a few of them. After reading the section about the white lie, I realized that I do this sometimes without even noticing it. Ericsson gives the example of when your friend may look terrible one day, but you tell them that they look nice just so they would feel better. Most people, along with myself, do not see this as a bad thing because you are doing something good for someone else, but either way you are still lying. As I continued reading, I was also shocked about a few parts, especially

     There are two sides to a rape, the rapist and the victim. The victim is most of the time a woman but men are raped as well. It is a common myth that there is a type of woman that is more likely to be raped. This is indeed a myth, most of the time rape is a crime of opportunity, the victim is not chosen because of her looks or behavior, but because she is there (Benedict 2). The average rape victim is 18-39 years old and female, the average rapist is 25 years old and male. The effect of rape on a woman is an enormous one. The woman will come away from a rape with both physical and psychological damage. Eventually the physical wounds will heal, the psychological wounds will take quite some time before or if they ever heal (Grady 4). A sexual assault robs the woman of a sense of control; a feeling of loss of freedom is common among rape victims. To put her life in order she must regain this sense of control. Almost all rape victims suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder (Benedict 2). The first symptom is the reliving or re-experiencing of the

Deception According to Hyman (1989) deception implies that an agent acts or speaks so as to induce a false belief in a target or victim. Deception can occur in everyday life. Whether it is telling someone they look nice or not telling them that they look fat. This is an important process for forming relationships and general social interaction.

We are told from a very young that we should tell the truth, and that lying is wrong; an immoral action which we should not engage in. Yet lying is a large part of daily life, whether it be our lying to others or others lying to us, around us, or lying in ways that affect our lives. Oftentimes, the lies we tell are for social gain; for the purposes of esteem, affection, or respect. We lie as a way to manage others impressions of us. Studies have found that women are generally more intimate in their interactions, which would suggest that they lie less. However, might women lie more to benefit others, as opposed to self-centered lies? A study by DePaul et al. (1996) set out to answers questions about the frequency of lying, types of lies told,

The mere concept of a compulsive or pathological liar is often repulsive to most of us, but the truth is, many of us aren’t that far from crossing that bridge. In her essay, “The Ways We Lie”, Stephanie Ericsson analyzes not only the many occasions in which we lie, but also the meaning and consequences of those lies. Although Ericsson’s definitions are well articulated, the evidence she employs to support many of her statements lack depth.

Stephanie Ericsson’s “The Ways We Lie”, analyzes the prominent role of lying in everyone’s lives. In lies, both the liar and the person being lied to will suffer by having a false sense of security, reality, and honesty. Stephanie Ericsson uses interrogation, alliteration, and repetition in order to convey her idea about the art of lies.

Self deception is the process or fact of misleading ourselves to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid. Self deception, in short, is a way we justify false beliefs to ourselves. There is no doubt that sometimes we are not realistic. Not all of our actions are rational or intentional. Sometimes we avoid reality, we deny the truth, and we fool ourselves. In some cases we may see the world the way we want to, and not the way it is. Self deception raises basic questions about the nature of belief and the relation of belief to thought, desire, and will.

Paglia’s unsympathetic comparison of a car being stolen because the keys were left on the hood of the car to a girl being raped because she drank alcohol is preposterous. The loss of a vehicle is mild in comparison to the theft of a woman’s most intimate possession. Sure, you may have lost your means of transport but a stolen car can be recovered, or a new vehicle purchased upon receiving funds from the insurance provider. A rape victim goes through many psychological and emotional changes. They often blame themselves and feel unclean. Their relationships and trust of other males in their life may be terribly altered also. In many cases, victims are haunted by the memories of the actual act. Depression and an addiction to pain pills may also be acquired as a way to escape from and alleviate the painful memories. Plenty of date rape cases are unreported because the victim feels that she will be harshly judged.

Some might be outraged at the notion that rape is not to be considered a tragedy. It is, of course, a horrific act. One that inflicts so much damage that it can cause PTSD type triggers in survivors. Rape is a before/after moment, people who experience it begin to think of how life was before and now after the event. For instance, with the character Salima, her life before the incident included a loving family with her “good husband” (35) and

The big meaning in the short story of T.C Boyle’s “The Lie” is that Lonnie feels very awkward about his situation. Everything starts in a morning in which Lonnie can’t bear his job and needs a break. He gets into a situation where he creates a little lie which gets very big with a kind of snowball effect. Lonnie’s relationship with the people around him plays a significant role in this story. However, Lonnie feels lost and is depressed because of the change that happened in his life.

What are lies? A lie is defined as follows: To make a statement that one knows to be false, especially with the intent to deceive. There are several ways that lies are told for instance, there are white lies, lies of omission, bold faced lies, and lies of exaggeration. No matter what type of lie that one chooses to tell many people believe that lies do more harm than good.