In “The Drama of the Gifted Child; The Search for the True Self,” Alice Miller exemplifies the significance of child development as she underlines the detrimental impact of poor parenting and the lingering inadvertent path that follows into adulthood as a result. She provides insight on the many complications that hinder the developmental process of children in relation to the long-term effects it casts later on in one’s life as a result of childhood deprivation. Similarly, her literature reflects the works of Alfred Adler in his notion of “individual psychology” and couples closely with his Adlerian Parenting Model in which he provides guidelines for effective parenting.
Miller started her career following Freudian theories of
…show more content…
She goes on to exemplify that childhood abuse does not only occur in a physical or
sexual sense, but also in a mental and emotional realm which tarnishes a child’s personality, disrupts their social growth and embeds problems for them in the future. Miller explains that in order to develop a true self from childhood, a mother must demonstrate appropriate emotional response, mirroring and respect. Without the appropriate responses at a young age, the child may continue to search for them throughout their adult-life. It is a child’s basic desire to survive and be loved; through this, the child learns to obey. In vulnerable situations, children will do whatever it is that they have to do and comply with any request commanded by their parents to attain a sense of existential security. Children are completely at their parent’s disposal; Miller finds that parents exploit their children’s love to meet their own needs. This asphyxiation leads the child to repress their inner feelings and who they truly are to act in accordance of their parents’ wishes. She believes that being deprived of love throughout childhood leads to depression and grandiosity, as the children will grow to be adults who will begin their quest on the same journey.
From a sociological
Adolescents are very unlikely to reach their full potential without the guidance of an adult figure, such as a mother, father, sibling, or guardian. Adult figures are essential to a growing child because they exemplify decision making, wisdom, and overall life lessons on how to grow up. Although some children do have an adult figure in their life, they aren’t always the best influences for their children, adults also face their own battles which can reflect upon their exterior, ultimately having a critical effect on a child’s development. For example, in “Running with Scissors” by Augusten Burroughs, the main character Augusten lives with his mother who suffers from a mental disorder who guides him into a pathway of chaos and disorder. Augusten learns to cope with no guidance, but still faces many issues that could have been resolved with a reassuring adult figure.
Losing a parent is presumably an unthinkable concept for those lucky to have them alive, but sometimes the title of “parent” dies long before a body is placed in the ground. Toi Derricotte author of “Beginning Dialogues” unfortunately had to experience both the death of her mother’s title of “parent”, as well as her literal death. Derricotte’s parents had divorced when she was eighteen, and her father did not seem to play much of a role in her life; she was left to be raised by her mentally abusive mother. Her mother also had a tough road to walk growing up, having to face and deal with brutal issues like racism and bulling. Persevering through those tough times may be the underlining reason behind Derricotte’s mother’s negativity and abuse towards her daughter. Perhaps she just grew a thick skin at a very young age and had never learned how to feel, accept, or administer love. Derricotte’s had said: “She told me all my life she loved me, as if she completely forgot the hundred slights, humiliations, threats, and insinuations. Of course she loved me;
As I have grown as a professional particularly over the past four years working with gifted learners, I recognize many lessons learned to improve my practice. My approach is less teacher directed and more student led blocks. I start with a brief mini-lesson for the topic of the day giving a few tips (as you can see in my whole group video clip). There is a short session of guided practice during this acquiring knowledge portion of the lesson. The bulk of the time then is given to investigations where I facilitate meaning making. Providing challenging tasks that I do not solve for or with them has given new excitement to my classroom. The level of engagement has skyrocketed. Conversations among students has given opportunity to build deep understanding on pre-algebra content. I have no students in academic support and none have failed their end-of-the year testing which is amazing given the complexity of our curriculum. Across the state, the 8th grade math assessment is one of the lowest performing end of the year tests. I am confident my experiences in the reflective cohort, balanced assessment committee, and gifted course work/Praxis time investments leading to endorsements had an impact on student learning.
Parenting played a big role in shaping the two boys lives. Having a parental mentor is important because they assist and guide children to take the right decisions about their lives. The author had his two parents at the beginning of his life. Also, the author’s parents, especially his mother, tried to raise him in an effective way wanting him to know the right from wrong at an early age. “No mommy loves you, like I love you, she just wants you to do the right thing” (Moore 11). This quote was a live example of the author’s life with his parents. It reflected the different ways his parents used to teach him “the right thing.” Though his mother was upset from his action toward his sister, his father
Children who have been abused are left with more than just physical scars. They have many psychological, emotional, and behavioral problems as well. Their social lives are affected dramatically, and they suffer lifelong effects. (Lambert) Children tend to
Poetry is like a song without music, it has the ability to awaken your emotions and the ability to tell stories that can paint beautiful, relatable, imagery in the viewer’s mind. Upon reading the poem, “My Son the Man” by Sharon Olds, she presents a unique view on her bittersweet experience of watching her son gravitate towards manhood, “Suddenly his shoulders get a lot wider” (line1), while realizing he is astute enough to escape his mother’s strong hold, “to learn the way out” (line 16). As a mother myself, I began to recognize how I can relate to the speaker’s challenges of understanding a child’s need to test limits and break free from dependency. I realized through the speaker’s obvious allusions to Houdini expressing the need to break free, the contrast used to convey the indirect references to Houdini, and the similes used to express emotion toward reflecting back on a time of innocence, accepting the need of a maturing child’s independence proves the strength of a mother’s love.
In order to understand Janie’s journey to discover love and herself, one must first define love from her perspective and analyze its origins. Janie’s adult concept of love is influenced by many things, including her grandmother and her childhood concept of love. Janie thinks there is a standard for love because her grandmother had standards for who she loved. Nanny’s concept of love, which shapes Janie’s, is heavily influenced by her slave background. Nanny was impregnated by her master, then witnessed her daughter, Janie’s mother, get raped by a school teacher (16-20). Because of the trauma both she and her daughter faced, Nanny ardently begs Janie to marry a man who will keep her safe from harm. Not only does Nanny want a protector for Janie, but she also wants a provider for her. If Janie is to have a husband who is well-off, she will not want the way her mother and grandmother did. Thus, Janie figured that she could marry a person for the security they
Could mild to severe forms abuse be thought of as just another part of growing up? Throughout childhood people are faced with situations of abusive families or school year bullies that could give them this dose of reality at a young age. In Ann-Marie MacDonald’s ‘Fall on Your Knees’ and Richard Wagamese’s ‘Indian Horse’, the characters face different traumas and forms of abuse. The abuse has different effects on the characters: Materia, Francis, Kathleen, and Saul.
These two styles of parenting are both ineffective in fostering the talent and passions of their children at early ages. One unable to maintain a stable, healthy relationship during early childhood years and the other being too overbearing over the child's decisions in life caused the children to both undergo an avoidable difficult childhood. The result of each mother’s parenting is the opposite of what the mother’s had hoped their parental
These curiosities should have been answer by a parent, Victor Frankenstein. However, Victor never put any effort in guiding the poor and innocent child. Evelyn Yeo in “How Does Emotional Abuse Affect Self- Esteem,” concludes that from the time of infant-hood to childhood, a child’s sense of self is defined by how he was treated and what he was told by his parents and primary caregivers. Infants especially, have no knowledge of who they are as a separate person so they rely heavily on their parents’ feedback. From parents’ trust, affection, and encouragement, the child will eventually grow up with confidence and achieve potential to make him or her parents’ proud. Overtime, self esteem will soon build upon them so they are prepared to be set in the real world (1).
How does a child feel when their parents conceive destructive values and manipulative connotations? To any child a parent is the person that they look up to and in most cases look for encouragement. However, some parents tend to value destruction and their own self-gain more than the life of their child. Both William Faulkner’s “As I Lay Dying” and Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye” demonstrating a principle that when parents are bound to their twisted, manipulative, and even immoral values that their children will ultimately be the ones to pay the price as they either embrace the similar hollow values themselves or set out to fulfill their own desires through often times self-destructive means.
Alice Miller wrote the book The Drama of the Gifted Child, which talks about a child who wanted nothing more than to please his parents. He felt like the best thing to do is please others and be perfect in everything he set out to do. Some children do what their parents say, some don’t follow the rules at all, but there is a child who did every single thing his parents told him to do. An ideal child that parents would adore but while he did everything they wanted he lost something. Himself; is what he lost in the midst of just focusing on what his parents wanted from and for him; he stopped dealing with his own life. He put himself on the back burner to please the parents who asked for so much and even took away a lot. Miller speaks on how it is because of the child’s own self pressure to be perfect that he experienced things adults go through at the time of still being a young boy. He never let himself feel remorse for his own actions, it was only failure and when it happened he bottled it up and never dealt with those feelings. It got to the point where he locked his child like self away to later then recover it after he became an adult.
Adler saw that what is learned in the family, is central to one’s later self-image, relationships, work, marital choices, parenting, moral behavior, and how one pursues one’s goals. Adler felt that there were three basic childhood
Howe (2010) states “The majority of parents who maltreat their children have problems metalizing their children’s psychological condition. Their own histories tend to be ones of rejection, abuse, neglect, trauma and loss. Never having been fully recognized as an independent, complex psychological being themselves, they have problems relating to their children as complex, separate psychological beings” (pg. 336).
“If I had been stone blind...I should have been a million times wiser, happier, more loving” (219). The absence of love in their early childhood not only blinds them from recognizing emotions but also desensitizes them and obstructs them from developing feelings. The seed of love planted in Sissy’s heart and the seeds of discipline planted in the Gradgrinds’ head bear fruits later in the children's own relationships.