The Long Buildup Of My Life Essay

“What are we going to do! What about my graduation?” Linz repeats frantically over and over, as the daunting reality slowly sat in.

Starting middle school was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. There was a brand new campus to explore, but we were also nervously anticipating the academic program that was about to begin. Most of my grade had been together since the age of four and by this time there were clear social divides. There were the girls who were seen as popular, and then there was everybody else. You could say that I was part of the popular crowd, though at the time I didn’t notice myself standing apart from the others. As a group of friends we got on well, we’d hang out, go to the cinema, have sleepovers, all the usual things friends do. Then things gradually started to change.

I was one of the tallest people in my grade, and was super skinny. With my mild Cerebral Palsy, I had speech problems for a long time. Due to all of this, I didn’t exactly fit in. Every day as I walked in the doors, I would completely shut down. My grades fell, and I blocked most of the world out. I could here the “popular” groups whispering and giggling every time I walked in the hall and notes would be passed around in class. I sat at a table in the corner by myself, I didn’t have any friends in

My public high school had misbehaved students and kids who didn’t care much about school. This resulted in the school having a poor academic system, although I did well it didn’t do a good job of preparing me for what was next. I attended Trevor Day School which at the time was a top 50 private school in New York City. They were granted the privilege of being on this list by having great teachers, a good learning environment, and one of the most rigorous curriculums in the city. This was a very cutthroat society that I had yet to encounter. As expected it was a drastic change, everyone was wealthier than me, there was racial tension, and in some ways it felt as if these kids were somehow smarter than me. Nonetheless, I had yet to realize that they weren’t in fact smarter than I was they just obtained the necessary tools to succeed in such an environment. I was one of the only colored guys in the school and I was on the basketball team. It was obvious that I was on financial aid and many people thought that I was granted with too much and I would fail off. Up until this point in my life I earned everything I received, but this was different; this time it was given to me. Therefore, with a lot given to me there would be a lot expected of me. I knew this prior to arriving at school, there were already a lot of eyes and pressure on

Let’s jump ahead again, this time to my first day of school. Morris Knolls High School is one of the top high schools in the US. Their curriculum is rigorous and their standards are sky high. Also, this was a completely new environment for me. I didn’t know how high school worked and this wasn’t the type of town I was used to. Living in suburbia and attending a school with different demographics than I was used to scared me. I now lived 30 minutes away from everything I grew up around. But the thought of having a fresh start excited me. No one knew me, I was a nobody and therefore free to completely change myself.

Like any other school there were the “cool” kids and the “not-so-cool” kids and like most people I longed for the feeling of fitting in. I tried so hard to buy the right clothes and to talk the right way. I became so caught up in my own life that I did not take a second to stop and think of someone other than myself. Last year, in eight grade, I had the chance to be apart of the “it” group, but during that time I lost myself. Peer pressure had pushed me into a corner where I was unable to think for myself and as a result I lost my ability to establish my character.

At my prestigious private school, for the three years of my attendance I heard students complain of how much they disliked it, including myself. It wasn’t that we didn’t appreciate the amazing education we were receiving. For private school kids, we were actually pretty good about recognizing how lucky we were. No, instead of hating school for the homework or difficult classes, we each complained about our peers and their exclusivity, the malicious gossip, or how we wished that everyone could forget their notions of who we were and let us break the mold we unconsciously formed for ourselves in middle school. In such a small school, the self-conscious, immature version of yourself from childhood followed you around long after you even vaguely resembled it. People still felt the sting of the sarcasm I had used to defend myself years before. Though I had long since become a kind, sincere person, I was remembered for the instances when I had been the

Months later it was time for school to begin and for me to experience public schooling in the suburbs for the first time. Going into the bus I wasn’t worried about any stereotypes or bullying, but I sure was wrong about that. Everyone kept looking at me like I was a shiny diamond. Many kids thought I was a foreign student with no knowledge in English. In school teachers were a bit nicer then the kids on my bus, but I still didn’t feel welcomed. I remember everywhere I went I always had eyes watching me. In class I never got picked to answer a question; even when I raise my hands, I suppose that the teacher didn’t think I understood the question. At the end of every day I realized how much I really missed my city. As the years went on I changed myself to become more likes in the suburbs which really helped a

Ever since third grade, I was different from the other kids in the classroom. The other kids always teased me and called me names like, “Nerd!”, and “Smarty-pants” because I was the youngest one in the grade. This torment continued to haunt me through all the schools that I went to. In school, I was anti-social because of my gap that separated me from my peers. This seemed like a barrier that I couldn’t face, and I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I wasn’t determined, or if I had great friends that helped me along the way.

Convinced that I would be seized from my family if anyone knew of my home life, I began to distrust figures of authority, especially those within the educational institutions I attended. In addition, it was nearly impossible to focus on school work while wondering if I would have a bed to lie on at night and equally as unachievable was arriving to school on time (and consistently) when each morning I would be coming from a different location. I saw myself as an outcast. I began nearly every year as the "new kid", forced to adjust to a foreign curriculum and then be reassigned in a matter of months. Friends became an inconvenience and I became more reliant on

     Once my family and I arrived at our new house I was still very saddened because of the move and had trouble not getting mad at my parents. Summer went bye like it wasn’t even there and by the time school started I was very depressed. The new school I was going to was Naperville North High School which was about ten times the size of my old school in Pennsylvania in size and in the number of students. In my school in Pennsylvania there were about twelve students in each class, here the number runs around thirty two. The school building was so big I had a lot of trouble getting to class on time let alone finding them in the building. The school wasn’t what I was bothered by the most because it was the fact that I didn’t have any social life and I was a social person. There were a lot of different groups of people at my new high school, it was tough for me to fit in and meet new people. Everyone just knew me as the new kid and didn’t even bother to find out what my real name was. The first

I never really thought about where my life was going. I always believed life took me where I wanted to go, I never thought that I was the one who took myself were I wanted to go. Once I entered high school I changed the way I thought. This is why I chose to go to college. I believe that college will give me the keys to unlock the doors of life. This way I can choose for myself where I go instead of someone choosing for me.

As a very small child I don’t remember too much, but the things that I do remember were seen through a child’s eyes that has made me the person that I am today and I will always have those memory’s with me until my last breath on this earth. In this essay I intend to show how my childhood and adult life to this point has influenced my life, my journey. By utilizing the adult development theories from this class I also intend on showing how they relate to my Life experiences and where I am today as an Adult student.

This explains the beginning of my life all the way to the end of my life. My life from the beginning was very fun as I grew up living with my mom’s friend and my friend. But there were a lot of fights and I was very hyper back then. I have ADHD so back then when I was little; I was very hyper and wouldn't stop moving around the place. I always was annoying back then and never seemed to get my homework done at school.

Freshman year I remember walking into the school mortified, thinking that everything and anything that could go wrong would. I had never attended a Liberty-Benton School and knew about five people that would be in my grade. I was shy and quiet because I didn’t know any of the new faces. I was insecure about myself and thought that it would be almost impossible to make friends. Before high school, I went to a small, private,