The Murder Of Eating Meat

999 Words4 Pages
Whenever I go out to eat, I always comb through the menu for specific words: shark, snake, grizzly, etc. It 's not that I don 't like more standard dishes. I love a good steak as much as the next guy, but that sort of thing just doesn 't excite me anymore. If I’m going to commit murder by eating meat, as the animal rights people say, I want my murder to count. I hunger for danger foods. By my definition, a danger food is any animal that can take me in a fair fight. The way I see it, if it could have killed me when it was alive, I get to eat it once it 's dead. In fact, it 's my civic duty to do so. For example, a shark could rip me apart with its rows of razor sharp teeth. Thus, I get to turn it into poop. The circle of life continues. A cow, while large enough to do some serious damage if it fell on me, is a stupidly docile animal. I could walk up to a cow and starting eating it right then and there, and it still wouldn 't put up a fight until it was nothing but udder and hooves. Cheap fight, the steak. Chicken? For all the flapping and noise, the chicken is nonetheless a non-threatening creature. Pork? Pigs can eat a lot in a short amount of time, but they 'll look right down the barrel of a gun and expect a candy treat. No real challenge, there. All of these are perfectly viable food options, but there 's no real sport. They have no real tools with which to fight back. Crocodiles, bears, gorillas, elephants, tigers - God gave these animals sharp claws, jagged teeth,

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