The Myth Of Co Parenting By Hope Edelman Analysis

“The Myth of Co-Parenting; How it Was Supposed to Be. How it Was” by Hope Edelman and “My problem with Her Anger” by Eric Bartels both explain the strain child rearing and lack of communication can put upon a marriage. The two articles describe their personal experiences with this issue, but the authors have differing points of view on the subject. Although they have different perspectives, both Edelman and Bartels explore ideas of traditional gender roles and unrealistic expectations in relationships.

In the articles “My Problem with Her Anger” and The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was,” authors Eric Bartels, feature writer for the Portland Tribune in Portland, Oregon, and Hope Edelman, nonfictional writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and Seventeen magazine, discuss the roles they play within their family and what the other partner is lacking. They express their discontent regarding their wives and the activities they perform domestically. Wives have an image of what they want their family to be like, but according to the

In Caitlin Flanagan’s Is There Hope for the American Marriage, she establishes the foundation for what the American Marriage means in today’s world by arguing that marriages are likely to collapse over time. With this being said, Flanagan goes on to depict the fragility of marriage during times of adversity, and how susceptible the couples can be when searching for alternative bonds from people other than their own partner, even if it means making moral sacrifices. Through a series of anecdotes from sources like herself to politicians, she further expands on this idea that the ideal marriage is nothing but a hoax for the likelihood of publicity. Flanagan includes sources from sociologists, such as Andrew J. Cherlin and Maria Kefalas, both whom

When most people get married, they go into the marriage with the expectations and hopes that everything will go as planned, that they will always get along, and that the responsibilities will be evenly divided between both spouses. And for two working spouses who have children, they share the expectation that no one parent will be more of a caretaker than the other. Eric Bartels, a feature writer for the Portland Tribune in Portland, Oregon, feels as if he has personal experience as to what it is like to be on the receiving end of his wife’s irrational—or at least in his eyes—anger. Bartels informs his readers of the anger his wife projects

In Andrew J. Cherlin’s essay “American Marriage In Transition”, he discusses how marriage in America is evolving from the universal marriage. Cherlin’s definition of the universal marriage in his essay is the man is the breadwinner of the household and the woman is the homemaker. In the 20th century according to Cherlin, the meaning of marriage has been altered such as the changing division of labor, childbearing outside of marriage, cohabitation, gay marriage and the result of long- term cultural and material trends (1154). During the first transition of marriage, Cherlin discusses how in America, Europe, and Canada the only socially accepted way to have sexual relations with a person and to have children is to be married (1154). The second change in marriage occurred in 2000, where the median age of marriage in the United States for men is 27 and women is 25 (1155). Many young adults stayed single during this time and focused on their education and starting their careers. During the second change, the role of law increasingly changed, especially in the role of law in divorce (1155). It is proven in today’s research marriage has a different definition than what it did back in the 1950’s. Today marriage can be defined as getting married to the same gender or getting remarried to someone who already has kids. The roles in a marriage are evolving to be a little more flexible and negotiable. However, women still do a lot of the basic household chores and taking care of the

Marriage unites two people for better or worse, in sickness and health, until death they do part. In earlier times, some people might say wedding vows were taken more seriously; other say divorce was different back in the day. Looking at Katie Chopin and Nathaniel Hawthorne, who both exemplify martial vows in their short stories, “The Story of an Hour” and “The Birthmark.” It is clear in one instance, it was because divorce was different but then on the other hand the stories demonstrate the seriousness of the wedding vows. However, these stories express a husband-dominated relationship, in which the men possess ideals such as possession, perfection, and being all knowing.

In her article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was”, author Hope Edelman claims that perhaps the ideal, balanced, and harmonious marriage that many couples yearn for is merely an unachievable myth. Edelman’s anger and frustration drives her essay as she recounts her childhood, analyzes societal gender roles, and narrates her own relationship in order to explore the concept of shared responsibility in a marriage.

In the article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was.,” author Hope Edelman claims her husband does not put forth effort in their marriage. Edelman discusses the difficulties of parenting with a spouse who is seldom present and her misconception of marriage. In the article “My Problem With Her Anger,” author Eric Bartels claims his wife is angry with him all the time regardless of what he contributes to their family. Bartels discusses how the effort he puts forth in his marriage goes unappreciated and how he thinks his wife’s anger is negatively affecting their marriage. Bartels and Edelman both believe they entered marriage with unrealistic views resulting in dissatisfaction of marriage however, Edelman

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

With over one million American children suffering yearly from their parents getting a divorce, it is evident why couples desire to cohabit before marrying. Divorce has shown to have a terrible effect on children (Fagan and Rector, 56). For some children this can result in lifelong psychological problems. Children who use drugs and alcohol are more likely to have come from a background that involves parental conflicts, such as divorce. Since divorce increases the chances of the children effected to abuse drugs or alcohol, many couples have been taking an extra step of cohabiting before marrying to hopefully decrease their chances of divorcing. However, divorce rates have steadily increased with the rapid increase of cohabitation rates. These divorce rates have been increasing steadily because it is now easier than ever to obtain a “no-fault” divorce. Also, these rates have been increasing because women no longer have to depend on the men in their lives to support them. As mentioned before, women are just as strong in the work force as men.

Despite revealing the inequality in society for women, Margaret tries to put an end to the inequality between men and women by describing marriages where both partners are mutually respected. For example, she feels that the ideal marriage is “one of mutual esteem, mutual dependence. Their talk is of business, their affection shows itself by practical kindness” (739). Fuller believes that “mutual esteem” and “mutual dependence” lead to a relationship of equality between a man and woman. She also believes that the couple must not only have mutuality but “affection” in order to maintain equality. In addition, she feels marriages of mutuality and mutuality and affection “meet mind to mind, and a mutual trust is excited, which can buckler them against a million” (742). The author uses this passage to show that

When we are young we play house and we play doctor, we pretend we are husbands and wives to the kids we play with. Marriage is imbedded into our minds at a young age and we value marriage as we get older. We see examples of marriages through personal experience, the TV, and through the media, but how much has marriage changed now compared to the 1950’s? The idea of marriage has been altered and improved since the 1950’s because of feminism, views about individualism, and views of same-sex marriage.

How marriage is what maintains a family and how cohabitation 's influence on couples is changing American society. He concludes that young couples today are choosing to cohabit and raise their children without any formalities that define a “legal” marriage. Wilson also describes the legal, financial, and social issues that are shaped by cohabitation, and their effects on the principles of marriage. A couple getting married makes a promise to stay together forever. This way each partner can afford to love the other because they made that promise. Another key argument is how marriage promotes better children. Although Wilson made a few strong points in his article, his claim against cohabitation fell short due to misleading the reader, including non-credible sources with no references, does not include opposing views or argument in favor of cohabitation, in addition to inserting his own political bias.

Society is always changing on what should and should not be accepted in a community or family. However as much as many may disagree on cohabitation before marriage couples are opting for this option due to many reasons, for most living with someone before being married gives them the opportunity to see if they are really willing to spend the rest of their lives with such person. This will give them the opportunity to learn from each other and if they are fit in such relationship. In other views we can see that many disagree because they are disobeying good wish for a couple to be united in marriage. With that they continue to argue about how this affects relationships and children. Furthermore, I think that one should be able to decide what is best for oneself and cohabitation should not be a problem if ones agrees to it. In this paper I will be examining three different articles on the topic of cohabitation with the information that is provided by the authors, I will critique their effectiveness in certain areas and see if a reader is able to attain adequate statist. I will first focus on a website article, As Marriage and Parenthood Drift Apart, Public is concerned about Social Impact by Cary Funk. The second that I choose from a magazine article is Unmarried, with Children by Barbara Kantrowitz from Newsweek. The third and last article that I will review is Measuring cohabitation and family structure in the United States: Assessing the impact of new data

Since ancient times ,marriage has been a way of life. Throughout the centuries, men used marriage as a token of peace to stop or prevent wars as well as the only viable option for women to prosper and survive in a male dominated society. Currently, it is no longer necessary for women to marry for survival and thus the marriage is losing its appeal. Hence, the non-traditional family structures are on a rise which goes against the ingrained teachings of past generations. Therefore, old school politicians, religious leaders are looking for new ways to persuade the public of how important marriage is to keep the ancient ways of life. In their pursuit to save the sacristy of marriage, fail to target the cause of the issues. Namely, the main selling point of marriage is the positive impact it can have on child 's social, emotional and academic development. They are all concerned with the rise of non-traditional households which, according to the report published by the Center for Decease Control on December 23rd, 2015 titled “Birth: Final Data for 2014”, shows that unmarried births account for over 40 percent of all births in the United States (Hamilton, et al. 7). As a result, they are concerned that the lack of marriage will negatively impact future generations. Child’s success is very important for both their parents and the society. Nevertheless, by only focusing on marriage as the only solution and failing to find the root causes, succeeding would be close to impossible.