The Psychological Consequences of Hooking Up

Across the U.S. college students on a variety of campuses have part taken in what is commonly known as the “hookup culture.” The hookup culture does not always have to include sexual intercourse although it most often does, but it is merely the idea of having physical pleasure with another person outside of an emotional relationship. College students, even at some of America’s most prestigious colleges realize hooking up has completely overthrown the idea of being in an actual relationship. Emily Foxhall a Yale student wrote an article for the Yale Daily News in 2010 stating that the hookup culture is so prevalent on Yale’s campus because students have enough stress to worry about, casual hookups are easy (Foxhall, 2010). The question becomes, is the college hookup culture vital and normal to the college experience or should it be condemned for being harmful to college age persons mentality.

Of students who reported hooking up, 41 percent used words such as “regretful,” “empty,” “miserable,” “disgusted,” “ashamed,” “duped” and even “abused” to describe the experience. An additional 23 percent expressed ambivalence, and the remaining 36 percent said they were more or less “fine” with hookups — “fine” being the most common description.

Free-and-easy sex prides itself on being commitment free, no emotional ties attached. Today, this idea of leaving all emotions at the door is the supposedly, sophisticated choice on campus. It is now well understood that traditional dating in college has mostly gone the way of the landline, replaced by “hooking up”- an ambiguous term that can signify anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse - all complete without the emotional entanglement of a real relationship. As times have changed, students begin to view a relationship as “too time consuming” and something that no longer takes priority amongst their busy, high achieving schedules. However, hooking up threatens the sexual, physical, and psychological health of college-age youth. Today’s youth may want to think twice before engaging in the prevalent hook-up culture. Despite the popularity of positive feelings, hookups can include negative outcomes including emotional and psychological injury, and even more concerning consequences such as unintended rape. In order to protect our generation, and more specifically our women, society must acknowledge the detrimental effects of a hook up culture to create a greater understanding surrounding this risky sexual behavior and ensure a more powerful, positive presence for women in our society. The combination of a society seeped in rape culture and an alcohol infused hookup culture creates a compromising sexual environment where women have limited control, opening the

Kelly transitions into his argument about why hookup culture should be concerning. Referring to his four main factors, he summarizes how each could be potentially harmful, especially to women in college. A lack of commitment takes away the emotions and connection made through physical contact. Future relationships are at risk due to this detachment. Ambiguous language creates a lack of trust between partners, causes classmates to make assumptions, and distorts risks. Alcohol impairs judgement relating to hooking up. This ends up in several undesirable scenarios, including rape and regrettable sex. Lastly, social pressure forces students into the hookup culture. Kelly stresses that there is a severe skewness against women. There is a fine line for them between participating in the culture and being known as a slut. There is a substantial double standard in hookup culture.

Throughout the book, Bogle places particular attention to gender differences. Supporting Bogle’s findings, there is still a double standard for men and women. Participation in the hookup scene is risky for women, while men have few, if any risks. Women who behave too “sexually” in the hookup culture have to recognize that there are repercussions. These repercussions include damaged reputations, being labeled, and being ostracized by peers. Women can get labeled, damage their reputations, or ostracized by having too many partners, hooking up with two guys that know each other well, dressing in a seductive manner, constantly hanging around a fraternity house, or drinking too much.

Cultural dating techniques and sexual practices among youth has changed drastically over the decades. From a postmodernist perspective, this is largely due to society, the morals, values and lessons that are taught in our social institutions. Dating practices have become less formal which is now considered the new norm, “we have moved into a “late-modern society” that is increasing anomic (or less normed) in certain respects” (Cote & Allahar, 2006, p. 28). There is no more ‘traditional roles’ of dating or even clear guidelines. How girls are supposed to behave is constantly changing and reinforced by various authority figures, society and our educational institutions. Dating and sexual practices have gone from the relationship first then, sexual activity, to sexual activity and then commitment. Media and society are now telling females to explore their sexuality before settling down except continue to look down upon the females who do so. Males continue to be taught to have multiple sexual partners and look for a female partner whom has only had very few sexual partners if any. Not only has institutions and other influences taken away the standards from dating, they are sending mixed messages. Encouraging females to have the best of the

For our final book, I read American Hookup by Lisa Wade. In the book, Wade shines a light on the prominent hookup culture in universities today. From exploring changing dynamic from ‘calling’ to hook up culture, the experiences of enthusiasts that participate in hookup culture, and the reality for those who decide not to participate in hookup culture. In the end, Wade make several conclusions on the process of hookup culture like the participant is typically drunk or under the influence of some type of drug, girls and guys both look at their opinions of their friends when deciding whether or not to hook up, and that it’s most important be having ‘fun’ while sticking to the many unspoken rules of hookup culture.

Although Hooking Up was looked at negatively in the generations prior, in today’s day and age views on sex have opened and predominantly sex is just like a “friendly game of tennis” as said by my professor. What my professor is trying to say is that sex isn’t really a huge deal in this day and age in a sense of meaning between the two who are participating. The steps towards sex are similar to the generations prior but are cut short in certain areas. While both often happen from a man approaching a woman, the steps start to change as they get to know each other. Usually the conversations are more friendly and trying to get comfortable with each other as intentions are being either built or enhanced. After that which is a relatively short stage, someone within the group of two might confess their sexual attraction to the other and that may lead to a friends with benefits relationship. Making sex nothing but a physical exchange between the two. While it does require some effort, it is not a serious bout as it was in previous generations.

I hope you have packed all your things and told your family goodbye because you are leaving for college to experience a whole new world full of different people. Studying and doing your homework will consume most of your time and energy, leaving little effort to be invested in relationships. Nonetheless, there is no need to worry for college hookups have been a solution to this dilemma for decades. Despite being a solution, there are several controversies that surround hooking up with random people during the college experience, which that became a topic of discussion and research involving different styles of writing, including various rhetorical appeals. In relation to that style, the author of the article “Gender, Agency, and Sexual Decision Making in Collegiate Hookups” effectively establishes her credibility through her resources, logic through her personal research, and emotions through her words.

In the book American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus, By Lisa Wade, she addresses the issues and concerns that she sees within the “hookup culture”. Lisa Wade’s book is a mixture of important statistics and personal accounts of what happens in the hookup culture on various college campuses. To define the hookup culture that Wade is addressing, we can look to the book as Lisa defines the hookup culture as essentially casual sex with no strings attached, another sociologist Kathleen Bogle described this as a “new norm” for campuses and that this an be very harmful for women especially (Wade, 2017, p.16). Michael Kimmel a well-known sociologist of masculinity was quoted saying that hooking up is “guys-sex” and that guys run the

RAPP is a project, which partners with secondary schools in the entire New York City to raise awareness regarding dating abuse. It intervenes and prevents significant dating violence that usually sprouts among teenagers (Velasco et al., 2015). The program educates individuals on unhealthy and healthy relationships and respect. Through classroom workshops, confidential counseling, school-wide awareness campaigns, and groups, the organization has been able to thrive the flesh of most high school teenage relationships (Martinello, 2015). To accomplish its purpose, it focuses on educating and supporting high school students on sexual violence, gender role stereotypes,

Hooking up has become an increasingly studied culture by many sociologists around the country. These studies have been done to understand the shift from the old culture of dating to the new culture of hooking up that we experience now. Many people find it interesting that the kids of our generation have become so sexualized and carefree compared to the college days of our parents. Many people wonder how we got to this point and how the dynamics of hookups work, and why we continue to go on with them even sometimes at cost of our mental and physical help. One of these people was Kathleen A. Bogle, who wrote an entire book on the subject called, Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus, which is the focal point of this essay.

The article “Hookups starve the soul” by Laura Vanderkam opens with a scene where she talked with a friend that hooked up with a guy after a party. In the article, Vanderkam talked about how unintentional sexual relations are increasing on college campuses. Vanderkam emphasized how parents put limitations on their children lives that could one day force them into promiscuous activities. She clearly states that “hooking up” is happening but does not always mean having sex. Hookups are defined by alcohol, physical attraction, and a lack of expectations the next morning. Many people blame co-ed dorms, sexual revolution, or alcohol, Vanderkam blames none of these aspects but blames it all on the way an individual is raised. She uses her own

The majority of the time the person who is left longing for more than just a casual hookup is the female. Women, by nature, are more likely to become more emotionally attached, especially when it comes to sexual activities. However, most of the time, girls will be willing to play along with the game of hooking up. Perhaps, in hopes, that it will someday lead to something more. But, if and when it doesn’t, they can be left emotionally distraught. Girls will become attached to the person they are with and grow to have a sincere care for them. However, when it comes to picking a mate, boys are not as particular about the girl. A study, Age and gender differences in mate selection criteria for various involvement levels found that “men should be equally as selective as women with respect to long-term mates, but less selective than woman with respect to short-term mates criteria (Kenrick).” Boys are less likely to think about all aspects of girl when planning on hooking up with her, unlike girls. They are not as particular because they are just looking for

The practice of casual sex is more popular among American teenagers; however, the feelings of independence and empowerment obtained by it are not the only consequences. Having multiple random partners can result in sexually transmitted diseases (STD), HIV, unwanted pregnancies and other physical risks. Moreover, depression and intimacy problems can bear