II. Analysis of The Interviews
i. The Public Stories’ Impact on Sexuality
While scholars have emphasised the importance of public stories on love relationships, the stories (both public and private) actually impact on intimate relationships and individuals’ experience of sexual behaviour. Terry said the reason for his gradually growing usage of the findom was an online video of female ejaculation that made him want to see if his girlfriend could ejaculate. He also searched for knowledge of cunnilingus online. Hana, as well, surfed the Internet discussion forum for first sexual experiences then gave her own opinion on what to do during her first time having conventional sex with her boyfriend. She also learned sexual skills from…show more content… The participants described their behaviour under the influence of the discursive experiences. Thus, the boundary between public and private stories is vague and difficult to discern in many ways.
ii. The Heterosexual Scripts of Sexual Behaviours in Relationships
The heterosexual scripts not only influence females but also males with the image of a “thoughtful” man using the findom to their partners. Based on the interviewees’ response, the males who used findoms were indeed considered “thoughtful” and “considerate” by females.
“When he first showed me this (the findom), I was a bit surprised. I thought, oh, he had prepared such thing! And… I think… He did his homework (laugh). It is thoughtful. Yeah…(laugh). At least he wasn’t only thinking about his own pleasure. He had considered my feeling. It’s a good of him.” (Emma)
“It should be an equal status. I think I want to have sex and you think whether it’s okay. I can choose; you can choose too. It’s not that boys says so! (emphasize) Girls should have their own opinion. For example, girls should guide boys, lead boys… what position she wants, in which ways… I think, a girl should point out her own requirements.” (Terry)
The story of men showing care through the findom was embodied in Emma’s feeling and Terry’s point of view. As Wight (1993) said, while the traditional image of masculinity centralises on sexuality without emotions, some young men in fact