The Relationship between a Parent and Their Child in Khaled Hosseini´s The Kite Runner

Although Amir thinks his father, Baba, is angry at him for not living up to his family’s beliefs, Baba does not hate Amir. Baba just wants Amir to be a proud man, so Baba can relate to him and further extend their relationship, but Amir does not live up to his father’s specific expectations. When Baba sees that Amir is not growing up like he did he becomes disappointed in Amir. Baba does not agree with Amir’s love and passion for reading poetry and writing stories, because he believes it shows a lack of courage and this does help their relationship. Amir simply wants to make his father happy and try and live in his footsteps. In the book I believe this relationship is part of the reason why Amir didn’t help Hassan when he was being raped, because he wanted to please his father with the victory kite of the contest. If he were to help Hassan the kite would be taken by Assef, but in actual fact I believe Baba would be happier if he stood up for his friend rather than winning the tournament. Amir could have also left Hassan because he is jealous of his father and Hassan friendship.

Firstly, Baba is not a good father because he often disregards his son, Amir, due to him not being like his father. The night when Baba and Amir comes home from watching the Buzkashi tournament, Amir sees

As father and son, Baba and Amir have some similarities, but they are both very different people.

Amir's first word indicated how much Baba meant to him. Everything Amir did in his childhood was to gain his father's approval. He tried to connect with Baba by playing soccer, which turned out to be unsuccessful. It was very difficult for him to gain acceptance from a man who wanted him to be the complete opposite of himself. Baba wanted carbon copy of himself; a son who was athletic, strong minded and brave, for him to grow up to become a "man's man." Baba noticed how Amir never stood up for himself, it was always Hassan that came to his rescue. He also

Baba also gave Amir a car that night to show Amir that he was proud of his success; Baba wanted to reward him for what he had accomplished. On Amir’s wedding day, although Baba was deathly ill, Baba exclaimed, “It’s the happiest day of my life, Amir,” (Khaled Hosseini, p.175). Baba made a speech at Amir and Soraya’s wedding. He openly shared that Amir fulfilled his expectations by saying that above all else, “Amir jan is my only son...my only child, and he has been a good son to me,” (Khaled Hosseini, p.177). Although it didn’t seem obvious at first, Baba truly loved Amir. The Kite Runner and The Crucible both have two fathers with strong paternal loves for their sons.

Amir and his father’s weak relationship in Afghanistan changes when Amir finally accomplishes something Baba can be proud about, spreading light of a possible close relationship in the future. At the beginning of the novel, Baba is talking with his friend, Rahim Khan, about his worries for Amir not standing up for himself, when he is being bullied. Khan responds to Baba saying, ““Children aren’t coloring books. You don’t get to fill them in with your favorite colors””(Hosseini 21). This quote illustrates the difficult relationship Amir and his father have with each other because Baba wants to mold him into the ‘perfect’ son, but Amir does not find appreciation in the same things as Baba, causing this ‘mold’ to be ruined. Amir and Baba being polar opposites causes them to naturally separate from each other because Baba likes building luxury to fit his ego, but Amir values the smaller gestures people do in life. Once Amir finally does something that makes Baba proud and improves ‘their’ ego, Baba starts to appreciate Amir more and tries to do more things with him. This is depicted when Hosseini writes, “Baba and I were finally friends” (Hosseini 85). Although Amir thinks they are close, they are not as close as they could be because Baba usually invites friends and family to join them on their outings. Also, when they are alone it is very awkward for the two of them because they do not know each other very well. The reason Amir feels like he is gaining his father’s acceptance is because he is taking him places, rather than ignoring his existence completely, which is a significant step compared to their relationship before. This step in their relationship illustrates they have a chance at becoming even closer in the future.

Part of the reason Amir did not stand up for Hassan, was because he cared too much about others opinions , especially his fathers. Amir was constantly tormented about what he thought his father thought of him, and tried relentlessly to do what he thought would make him proud. Part of the reason Amir left Hassan in that alley, was because he thought that by bringing the kite back, and winning the competition would make his father proud. Amir would do whatever he could to make his father proud, even if it came to such dramatic circumstances. Throughout the novel, Amir realises that his loyalty to his father should not influence his better judgement. He himself needs to know right from wrong, and act upon his morals. It is this fire within him that partially inspires him to protect Sohrab from Assef, because this time, he knows it’s the right thing to do. Secondly, although Baba is not very fatherly, he does teach Amir to be strong. Baba was never very fatherly to Amir, and certainly never coddled him. This forced Amir to learn to fend for himself a lot sooner than most children. Although it took some time for him to really grasp this fact, Baba did have an impact on how strong and passionate Amir turned out when he grew up. Amir describes Baba as a legend, stating, “Lore has it my father once wrestled a black bear in Baluchistan” with his

Baba was usually aloof and cold when he was around Amir. Since Baba was interested in sports, he felt like Amir wasn’t his son because he was into writing and was weak. In a conversation with Rahim Khan Baba said that something was missing in Amir. He said that a boy who couldn’t stand up for himself would not stand up for anything. They don’t really have a good father and son relationship because Baba expected too much of Amir. It was that winning kite tournament that somehow bonded them together but after a while, it went back to being the “cold” treatment

He is the protagonist. Readers feel compassion for him. He is conflicted in many ways. He is jealous of the relationship and bond Baba has with Hassan. Yet he realises that Hassan is of the lower class in society.”I was going to win, and I was going to run that last kite. Then I’d bring it home and show it to Baba. Show him once and for all that his son was worthy.” (Housini 53) He is very emotional and a storyteller. Baba, the father. He is considered a hero and a leader in Kabul. He is Amir’s father. They never really had a strong connection especially in afghanistan. Baba always exceeds the expectations of others, because of that he expects more out of his son. Baba also comes off as someone who lives by his own moral code. He is hiding a secret that he is afraid to tell. Hassan is amir's playmate and servant. He is also the son of Ali. Hassan felt like Amir was his friend but Amir never really thought of Hassan that way.

Here in this essay I will discuss the complex relationship between father and son to demonstrate the need for a father figure in the novel "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini. The relationship between a parent and a child is a precious and haunted bond, but is not always a love relationship, but a relationship is full of pain and longing. The relationships clearly demonstrate this need for a father figure are those between Baba and Amir, and Amir and Sohrab.

Throughout the novel, Amir endeavors to be approved by his father, Baba, who is admired by people in Kabul. Unfortunately, Baba believes that Amir, unlike him, is very unmanly “and [that he] never fights back. He just... drops his head ” (Hosseini 24). Since Baba wishes for a son who would stand up for himself, he can’t help but observe that Amir’s friend Hassan, as the guy who “steps in and fends the [bullies] off” (Hosseini 24) is his idea of the ideal son. Though aware of his father’s expectations, Amir is unable to change himself and instead envies Hassan and the fact that Baba treats him like his own son by“[patting]Hassan on the back. [and even putting] his arm around his shoulder [like a fatherly figure]”(Hosseini 15). Despite the manifestation of this hatred in Amir, he continues to recognize the bond that he shares with Hassan, “ brotherhood between people who had fed from the same breast” (Hosseini 11) which is because both their mothers died during birth. The confusing emotions he feels for Hassan has Amir face a situation in which he acts inappropriately and allows the guilt to manifest upon him. After winning a very important kite tournament for the first time and “seeing Baba on that roof, proud of [him] at last” (Hosseini 71) Amir begins to search for Hassan who had gone to run his kite earlier. Finally, Amir finds him in a dark alley and as he “peeks around the corner” (Hosseini 75) he witnesses a sight that eradicated not only his relationship with Hassan but also Baba’s brotherly relationship with Ali, Hassan’s father. Peeking through the corner of the alley, like a bystander, he watches his one and only friend getting raped. The guilt that came upon him was for two reason; one, his lack of courage to stand up to

Baba’s influence on Amir can be described in two words, tough love. Baba desperately wants Amir to resemble him in everything he does and do things how he would, but Amir struggles to meet these standards. Baba is reminded by Rahim that he does not get to choose the man that Amir will become, “‘Children aren’t coloring books. You don’t get to fill them with favorite colors”’ (21). It hurts Amir that he does not get Baba’s compassion and love but he stays true to himself and does not change for him. Even though Amir stayed true to himself he would still do what he could to earn Baba’s love. When he won the kite flying tournament Baba shows Amir that love because he did something they can both relate to, sports. It seemed Amir would do anything to be recognized by Baba but Baba did not care about Amir’s thoughts on himself. Baba even said to Rahim “If [he] hadn’t seen the doctor pull [Amir] out of [his] wife with [his] own eyes, [he’d] never believe [Amir’s his] son” (23). This obviously would be heart wrenching to hear and hurt Amir deeply, but he did not let that make him stop trying. The two clearly had a rocky relationship.

From generation to generation, the constant struggle for males to live up to the expectations of their fathers often affects the choices made and actions taken by the sons. Perhaps, the overbearing testosterone levels claim responsibility for the apparent need for sons to impress their fathers, but not all boys consider the realistic consequences of their decisions. In Khaled Hosseini's novel The Kite Runner, young Amir's admiration for his father Baba, coupled with the constant tension in their relationship obscures his mind from making clear decisions as he strives to obtain his father's love and approval.

Amir and Baba never got along, which caused Amir to believe that all father-son relationships are like his. Amir does not understand that parents are supposed to unconditionally love their children, like the love Hassan receives from Ali. Showing the differences in Amir and Hassan’s reactions to this story due to their relationships with their fathers explains the significance of having a bond between father and son.

It is said that a father and son’s bond is unbreakable, that one’s father is his first hero. Small moments between a father and his son can not only shape their character, but also their relationship. This is also portrayed throughout the novel, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, where the miscommunications and bonds between a father and his son and how this can change one’s character completely. Hosseini uses this novel to further demonstrate that even though a relationship between a father and his son may start off rough, through time and progression, the broken bond between a father and a son may be able to be recovered. This is demonstrated when Baba and Amir are not able to connect and have the father-son bond they need, when this bond is finally gained, and when Baba passes away.