The Seven Principles Of Making Marriage Work

Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend (1999) have created a comprehensive work titled Boundaries in Marriage. In this book they have outlined what boundaries are and what can be done to create healthy boundaries within a marriage. First, let’s look at the definition of boundaries. Cloud & Townsend (1999) define this as “a property line” (p. 17). In other words in a marriage it is a set of rules that a person sets for themselves so that they can control their emotions; this is also known as ownership. A person must find that ownership within themselves to avoid trying to control or put blame on the other person; this

“The Myth of Co-Parenting; How it Was Supposed to Be. How it Was” by Hope Edelman and “My problem with Her Anger” by Eric Bartels both explain the strain child rearing and lack of communication can put upon a marriage. The two articles describe their personal experiences with this issue, but the authors have differing points of view on the subject. Although they have different perspectives, both Edelman and Bartels explore ideas of traditional gender roles and unrealistic expectations in relationships.

    In their book, Boundaries in Marriage, the authors, Cloud and Townsend, present a theoretical model for maintaining healthy relationships, specifically marriage relationships. This examination of Cloud and Townsend’s approach to maintaining healthy relationships summarizes both the theoretical and theological orientation of their proposed model, compares their approach to the model proposed by Sandra Wilson in her book, Hurt people hurt people, and considers the model in the context of Dr. Hawkins concentric circle theory of personality, and parents a critique with regard to some’ of the perceived strengths and

In the play Tartuffe, Molière portrays marriage in a unique way. He expresses a different perspective on marriage that most people would disagree with. In the play, marriage never seems to base around love but rather seems to be a very serious part of their life. Mariane submits to her father because during this time period the father was able to choose whom his daughter would marry. This submission is not based on love but rather who her father enjoys the best. It puts a great deal of pressure on the father to make the right decision. Marriage to Tartuffe would have caused Mariane a lifetime of discontent and it would have also associated the

“Why Did I Get Married?” directed and produced by Tyler Perry is a movie based on four couples who take a reunion vacation to the Colorado Mountains in order to reunite with friends from college. On this vacation things didn’t go according to plan. Throughout the movie there was heartbreak, infidelity, suppressed feelings, conflict, and secrets raging throughout each of the couples’ relationship in some aspect. With these unfortunate events occurred at various times throughout the film it cause their trip to evolve from a place to relax, enjoy friends, and time off from work into an emotional and tense atmosphere with the involved couple seeking validation from the other couples on the reason why their marriages are the way they are. Even though the movie ended on a good note in their celebration of Janet Jackson’s character (Pat) receiving an award one of the marriages did not survive. This couple’s relationship will be my focus for this paper.

This semester, we’ve learned a lot of things about what goes on in married relationships and cohabitation relationships. We’ve been taught how to deal with situations and changes that may occur within any relationship. In order to apply the research I’ve learned about, I have chosen to compare a few topic that took place in the movie Love and Basketball. This movie shows many gender roles, nonverbal behaviors, family impacts on relationships, and how communication is key.

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

In her article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was”, author Hope Edelman claims that perhaps the ideal, balanced, and harmonious marriage that many couples yearn for is merely an unachievable myth. Edelman’s anger and frustration drives her essay as she recounts her childhood, analyzes societal gender roles, and narrates her own relationship in order to explore the concept of shared responsibility in a marriage.

Marriage has been constantly changing over the past centuries. Currently, trends in marriage have adopted a new way of getting married through splitting responsibilities and work, resulting in social freedom for individuals. "The Myth of Co-Parenting,” by Hope Edelman demonstrates the difficulties of taking all the responsibilities while in “ My Problem with Her Anger,” explains the needs of having a better understanding of each other. Due to marriage changing over the last centuries, marriage couples desire individuals’ expectations and freedom to be met in marriage.

“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’

Modern literature is known for questioning society and its various conventions. One question that these works often ask is, “What is real?” Some modern authors explore this question by placing their characters within self-constructed illusions that are later shattered by the introduction of reality. Marriages are frequently at the center of this theme, with one spouse crafting an illusory impression of the other. Modern literature demonstrates that a marriage built upon illusion will falter when exposed to reality.

First, the expectations of a relationship and how these expectations are met play a large part in the dyad’s assesment of how well the marriage is going. Also, the decision-making process, another important procedure that should engage both parties of a marriage, is of increasing importance in these post modern, feminist times.

A famous journalist Mignon Mclaughlin once said “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, with the same person.” Around the world there are various forms of a marriage. For instance, polygamous marriages where there is various people in a marriage. In every state marriage forms are viewed differently some are legal and others not. As culture has shaped our views on what is a right marriage most people only know of a monogamous marriage. There is so many different forms of marriage from polygyny and polyandry. What constitutes these different marriages to be wrong or better. Why not legalize different forms of marriage worldwide? Love is love either with one person or many. What if these types of marriages become standard as monogamy marriages. Therefore, in the following paragraphs what will be talked about is the positive and negatives affects a polygyny and polyandry marriage has on adults, children, families.