The Social Birth Order Theory

Each child has his or her own personality. Typically the firstborn is a natural leader, while the last is always the baby, but what about the overlooked middle child? The middle child can sometimes feel lost in the crowd when it comes to family dynamics. They crave their parent’s attention and are willing to do anything to believe they have it, but immediately close up when it comes to conflict, they become people pleasers. They will do anything to make their parents, or others, happy. This makes the middle child a skilled peacemaker and negotiator (Varma, 2013). They are amazing listeners because of the fact they hate conflict,

Parents’ own birth orders and children experience can impact family dynamics, such as, firstborn parents getting into “raging battle” with a firstborn child, youngest-born parents not having high expectations on their kids or seeing their children’s abilities, biases based on their own birth positions, sticking up for the children with the same birth order, and birth order affecting the children’s personalities.

In the texts “That That Elusive Birth Order and What it Means for You,” and “How Birth Order Affects Your Personality,” the authors give their interpretation on the importance of birth order in siblings. The author of the first text, Susan Whitbourne, stresses the unimportance of birth order. Conversely, Joshua Hartshorne, the author of the second text, says that birth order is significant to personality, but there just has not been enough evidence until recent studies.

According to Alfred Adler, the birth order of the children in a family will largely affect how they age and the personalities which they will form. First borns enter the family as the only child. They revel in the love and full attention from their parents, that is, until the second baby comes along. Suddenly, first borns are dethroned and lose the undivided attention they are used to receiving. As a result, they tend to develop a strong sense of responsibility and protectiveness over their siblings at an early age, which often leads to them becoming authoritative adults. Moreover, when there are multiple children in the family, parents will set high

There are many things that effect a person’s personality and future success. Things like gender, race, ethnicity, and economic stability are all examples of what can affect a person’s development, but what about someone’s birth-date? Can a person’s birth-order really effect someone’s future? In “The Power of Birth Order” Jeffrey Kluger writes about how birth-order can determine a person’s personality and success; throughout “The Power of Birth Order” he established three categories: first-born, second-born, and third-born.

M. Farouk Radwan, MSc., notes that first-born children who are used to getting all of the attention until the second child arrives may develop feelings of jealousy because they blame their younger sibling for their dethronement. If properly developed, the first born can acquire positive qualities like strong leadership traits and being responsible. However, poor development can lead older siblings to manifest jealousy or

Sibling rivalry is not the only issue that was triggered by birth order, child’s personality and his or her intelligence is also involved. Some researchers say that first-borns are smarter because they are pressured to set-up the boundary for the younger siblings. They are more enthusiastic in their education for them to be role models of their other siblings. As for the younger ones, life may be or may not be easy, depending on how they will view it. They may view it positively by keeping in mind that since their older sibling get through it, they also can. Otherwise,

First born children who later have younger siblings may have it the worst. These children are given excessive attention and pampering by their parents until that fateful day when the little brother or sister arrives. Suddenly they are no longer the center of attention and fall into the shadows wondering why everything changed. They are left feeling inferior, questioning their importance in the family, and trying desperately to gain back the attention they suddenly lost. The first born child can become “problem children, neurotics, criminals, drunkards, and perverts” (Cloninger, 2008). However, on the flip side, the first born usually are the peacemakers of the family even though they are a pampered and spoiled child.

Though, birth order illuminates a majority of our personality traits and decisions such as, career and romantic relationships. Parents get wrapped up in the ‘firstborn haze’ and overlook how much pressure they put on older siblings. By creating a pressure to be the best and ‘in control’ the older sibling takes on the leadership role and often becomes more aligned with doing better in school than younger siblings. Determination and intelligence correspond with higher level of career, and that is just what the older sibling strives for. In fact, “100% of astronauts who’ve gone into space were either eldest children or eldest sons” (State). Relationships work better if partners differ from each other and aren’t in the same birth order. The competition can be detrimental and problematic. Alfred Adler’s birth order theory provides us with useful information to reflect our decisions and explain how you think about things. By becoming aware of it we can become more familiar with ourselves and get out of the all too familiar comfort

Though there are specific temperaments and personality traits commonly found in each birthplace, it does not signify that each characteristic perfectly fits a single child or adult in that order. Many variables interfere with the general traits found in each birthplace and can easily change the personalities of that specific order. A complete change in birth order characteristics can also result from these specific interferences. Both circumstances in the outside and inside world take effect and are called the variables of birth order. These variables are very important to keep in mind while looking at this subject. Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally renowned psychologist, and New York Times Bestselling Author, lists some of the major variables found in many children and adults in his book The Birth Order Book. The spacing of up to five years or more, gender, physical and mental disabilities or difference, deaths in the family, and also spacing will interfere and alter the personality traits found in each birth placement. This list of variables can continue on, but looking at these can provide insight to those dealing with doubts towards their specific birth order or where they may fit

The object of this experiment was to determine whether or not birth order actually affected personalities and to see if oldest/youngest stereotypes were true. Oldest children are said to be bossy and rule followers while youngest tend to be ambitious and outgoing. To find out whether or not these assumptions were true, ten people were asked a series of questions about oldest and youngest children and what it was like growing up.

The oldest child plays an inimitable role in the structure of her family. She has a propensity to be confident and often craves her independence at an early age. She sets the standard for her younger siblings and realizes that her actions are observed closely by impressionable eyes. This accountability often instills in her a drive to act in a respectable and responsible manner. As the oldest child in a family of eight, I have been persistent in regarding these characteristics and have enabled them to shape my identity.

Does one’s sibling rank affect their character? People believe, “the oldest is dictatorial,” everyone “babies the sweetheart,” and the middle child is “-- well, stuck in the middle.” As a middle child in a family of three, I have come to recognize these statements as facts, and not mere assumptions. The average middle child is a peace-making, social, secretive, and easy-going person. Even though I share in all these traits, I will be focusing on the peaceful, laid-back and social side of my character.

A 2003 study showed that when people were asked about what they believed about middle children, the participants said that middle children were the most envious, least bold, and least talkative of all siblings. Participants believed that middle children to be prone to bad behavior. In fact these stereotypes are not true. In reality first born children are the mostly to act out. The reason for this is that for some point of time they were the only child. They grew accustomed to receive all the parental attention. When they become the oldest child they have a hard time adjusting to that and in the end act out. Middle children in fact tend to be the most social of all siblings. Since middle children do not feel the family bond with their parents, they search out friends who become like their family. Middle children have the best social skills of all children. Middle children relate well to older and younger people. They tend to be the most successful of all siblings in team sports, primarily because of their social skills. Middle children do not resent their older and younger siblings. They actually are quite close and rely on each other for

In the early stages of a child’s character development, the family is the first social group that the child has. The relationship that is fostered between the family and the child is important, because it is the role of the family that influences the child’s behavior. Although the child may be influenced by the father and siblings, these relationships are looked to second. The child realizes early that the family belongs to him. This leads to jealousy towards other siblings because he may strive to be significant, and establish a position of superiority. Once the child comes to trust the family, it no longer feels threatened. By fostering a good relationship with the family, the child develops trust which leads to the child developing