The Stages Of Relational Development

Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections as noted through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, our communication through relationship stages makes it seem as though I am now dating a different person than the one I met years ago. Following dissolution and subsequent repair, I realize the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through sets of ups and downs, much like the

In A. L. Evangelista & D. Perlman, Cambridge handbook of personal relationships. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press ISBN 0-521-82617-9

Even before I had discovered my identity, I began moving into this intimacy versus isolation stage. At this stage individuals typically move towards “life experiences involving the development of a deeper connection, or intimacy, with another person”(Swartwood, p. 85). When it comes to developing these relationships, people must sacrifice a portion of their independence, which a portion of individuals are unwilling to do. Swartwood (p. 85) states that “resisting this loss of independence [results] in frequent break-ups and a failure to maintain a mutually loving bond with another.” This leads to isolation and loss of quality of life.

Intimacy versus isolation is stage six in Erik Ericksons eight stages of human development. This stage takes place from approximately 19-40 years of age (Orlofsky, Marcia, & Lesser, 1973). The big question that people face in this stage is will I be loved or will I be alone. During this stage people start to develop more long term relationships. Friendship, dating, marriage and family play a big role in the happiness of this stage. This is when we leave the people that we grew up with and start our own lives. By establishing

Often relationships with others can be formed at an early age. Relationships can vary from being friendships, or even ones formed between family members. Many relationships can prove to be complex and tend to evolve over time. Both “This is what it means to say Phoenix, Arizona by , and “the movie Smoke Signals illustrate the complexity of relationships between individuals.

In Knapp’s Stages of Relational Development, he explains how relationships grow and last and not only that, but how they end as well. There are ten different stages involved in this particular relationship development; in the first stage, also known as the coming together stage, there are five different key parts which are initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating and bonding. In the other stage, also known as the coming apart stage, there are also five different key parts such as differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding and terminating. There is also a central unit in the middle known as the relational maintenance stage which involves key components from both the coming together stage and the coming apart stage which are integrating, boding, differentiating and circumscribing.

I was the one who initiated my relationship. First impressions were made from behind a screen, with a Xbox controller in my hand. I couldn’t help but notice a teammate from an online game chosen at random. I drew the conclusion that she had at least one thing in common with me, so I added her as a friend. Once she replied, I climbed onto the experimenting step. We bantered about our interests in the game, and eventually, our mutual tastes in activities and music. I was shocked that someone was so similar to me. As time progressed, our relationship started intensifying. Our communication increased, and I had the privilege of video chatting with her on Skype for the first time. In a way, a new first impression was formed. She seemed so shy compared to the girl I used to twiddle my thumbs for. Hearing her nervously say, “Hi, it’s Sydney," for the first time opened up another channel of communication.

The Complexity of Human Relationships Human relationships are complex and diverse and are generally major aspects of the life of a person. They can have resounding positive as well as negative impacts on a person’s life that are felt no matter where the two people in the relationship are. They also tend to fluctuate, as they have their brighter moments along with their not so favorable moments. Finally, a relationship is expected to be reciprocal, and generally the actions of one party in a relationship will dictate the reactions of the opposing party to such treatment. Furthermore, in a hierarchical relationship such as the relationship between parents and children, the inability for group in lower order within the relationship,

Although many books have been written about communication and connection in relationships, there has been a book that addresses precisely this wonderful process as has James C. Petersen in his book: Why Don’t We Listen Better? And it is precisely the way in which the parts he divided the book that takes the reader to a better understanding of what the personal relationships connections through communications are concerned.

Just as self concept seemed a vicious circle, where this affects that and that effects this; relational development is the same. Relational development can alter our lives and our communication, while communication issues can alter our relational development and our lives. The relational perspective is a pragmatic one and focuses on the continuance of communication processes through relationships. (Rogers, 2004.) Relationships go through a series of stages. The initial and first encounter to a relationship is called the initiating stage. While in this stage, two people attempt to create favorably impressionable first impressions. In this stage you will look for cues about the other person’s personality, attitude, beliefs, and values so that you can progress the relationship. If the relationship continues and impressions are favorable than the two people move to the second stage, also known as the experimenting stage. In this stage people reveal themselves further but not completely since the stage is still a precarious one. If a common ground and understanding of each other is obtained then the relationship moves to the next stage, the intensifying stage. In this stage shared experiences becomes common and self disclosure is open. The next stage is the integrating stage, this is where the individuals usually become a couple. They have shared interests and attitudes, and sometimes talk or act alike. The other individual becomes like your other half. If things go awry than relationships often shift to the circumscribing stage. This is when couples start to self disclose less and less to the other person. Then comes the stagnating stage. At this point there is no communication and no activity between the two people. Sometimes there is an

It is true that when persons become young adults, they tend to seek companionship and love from those surrounding them. Therefore, this theory can be applied in our interactions to understand the actions, and changes in individuals’ behavior and areas of concern as they go through life stages of

The second half of the relational model is called the “coming apart” stages, which consists of: differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and lastly terminating. During the differentiating stage the relationship will start to be more individual, it will start to fade and the bond will be broken. After that comes the circumscribing stage during which the individuals won’t communicate because of the fear of starting an argument. The stage where relationships never improve or continue is called stagnating. After this point the individuals enter the avoiding stage, where the avoid any physical contact

Early adulthood is the point in a human 's life where he or she is able to establish intimate relationships as well as friendships. Studies suggest that one is not fully developmentally complete without the formation of intimate relationships, for without them a person would become isolated and develop a fear of commitment, and likely, a mistrust in other people. To be able to form such intimate relationships one must have appropriately progressed through the earlier stages of life successfully.

This literature review will first define romantic relationships and explore what exactly happens in the development of these relationships. From the research found, individual’s age or sex did not necessarily affect the differences in communication. Some research claimed that communication itself defined a romantic relationship; while other researchers said that a couple having the conversation of, “what are we?” was enough to define the relationship. Sometimes it was mutuality in a relationship that helped define it. Mutuality in relationships was often increased with positivity and compliments between partners (Doohan and Manusov 2004).

Relationships are like onions, they take time to open up and you have to peel layer by layer to get to the center. Life happens, people come and go and the relationships that are made happen over time. A relationship is built over prolonged exposure to someone and they do not happen over night. When you first meet a person most judge, they look at a person’s appearance, their behavior, and their overall attitude. But as time goes on and you get to know someone on a more personal level you learn whom he or she really is. This idea is called the social penetration theory. Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor established the social penetration theory in 1973. They created this theory to have a better understanding of intimate relationships between two people. The social penetration theory is important to the communication process because it looks at how relationships develop and how over time relationships evolve from where they stared by self-disclosure. With the social penetration theory as the main focus and with the support from communication studies, this paper is assessing the formation of new relationships.