The Story Of The Guilty

1035 Words5 Pages
“Hi-ya, sport, you look you could use a good stiff drink?” a good-sized man said to Glenn as he handed him his champagne flute. “Here, take mine.” “You’re… you’re, John Candy,” Glenn managed to utter as he gazed upon one of his favorite actors. “Guilty as charged,” Candy replied with a chuckle. “And that’s Janis Joplin, Donna Reed, and Rita Hayworth over there. Now, if you look to your right, you will see Walter Cronkite and Kurt Cobain shooting-the-shit on the couch over there. And, that’s Billie Holiday you hear singing, she’s on stage in the adjoining room.” “No shit… wow…” uttered Glenn completely flabbergasted as he took a large gulp of champagne. “Oh, and this cocksucker here is Senator McCarthy.”…show more content…
“Will you excuse me?” the reaper asked Andy. “I gotta go have a talk with the kid.” The reaper’s suspicion that it was Glenn, who was acting a fool in the lounge was soon confirmed when after he arrived. There, he saw that Glenn was already half shit-faced and swing the little guy from Fantasy Island around by his ankles while mocking him with, “The plane, the plane…” “Glenn… Glenn, can you put Tattoo down for a moment, I’d like to speak with you?” the reaper asked. Glenn looked back at the reaper, his eyes already bloodshot from coke. “Yeah, Death, what’s up?” he said animatedly. “Ah, Glenn… The thing is… You kind of get the fact that death is forever, right?” “Yeah, sure… Hey, man, this place is tits!” “Um… yeah, that’s the thing. Look, I know the afterlife is awesome and some people may get carried away with it when they first arrive, but… Like I’d said, you’re here forever, so you don’t have to take in the whole experience at once. You can kind of space it out a bit, you know? Take it easy—slow down. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” “Sure, Death, I got you,” Glenn said, sounding sincere. “It’s just that, this is all new to me and it’s a little overwhelming. I guess I got carried away.” “That’s all right,” said the reaper. “No harm, no foul, just take a step back and enjoy yourself. I hear that Dinah Shore will be up on stage in just a
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