The Traditional Family

During the 1990’s, a total of 71.5 million children under the age of 18 lived within the U.S. Of these children more than 70% lived in a traditional two-parent family, 25% lived with one parent, and less than four percent of children lived with another relative. As of 2013, about 46% of children live in a traditional two-parent family. The remaining 54% are divided into three categories: 15% live with two parents remarried, 34% live with a single parent, and five percent live without a parent. Studies show that children who live in an non-traditional family are at a greater disadvantage than children living in a traditional family. Children who live in non-traditional families are at a higher risk of experiencing economic and psychological/health

Stephanie Coontz in “The Way We Weren’t: The Myth and Reality of the Traditional Family” emphasizes that the traditional and ideal nuclear family widespread in media and textbooks are false and far from reality. In fact, it is common to see more similarities to the traditional family consistent of “male breadwinner and nurturing mother” (1) today than in the past.

Where do family values stand in today’s world? There is the traditional family that make ends meet no matter what and more common today is the modern family that take divorce like it is no big deal. Kingslover and White give great examples of what a traditional family is like and how the modern family is taking over. The world makes it easy to deplete family values in this day and age but really divorce has been considered for centuries. Divorce has become a regular occurrence and highly prevalent in today’s society, which is focused upon and exemplified throughout the essay “Stone Soup,” whereas, traditional family values and permanent marital status is shown in “Once More to the Lake.”

“In the united states, more than 4 to 5 in 10 marriages end in a divorce, and approximately half of American children are affected by this change in family relationships” ( McDevitt & Ormrod, 2015, p.73). The divorce rate is continuously skyrocketing, and more children are having to learn how to deal with this occurrence. In addition to divorce, there are also many different types of family situations, that are not considered traditional, and these also cause children to go through hardships. For the most part, children who grow up in traditional working households have tended to do better in school and grow developmentally stronger than children in non-traditional household settings due to the hardships and the changes these children are going through.

The Decline of Traditional Family Being Detrimental to Society Some people believe that the decline of the traditional family (Nuclear family) is detrimental to society because a lot of people are not socialising. This is one of the basic roles that a traditional family performs for individuals to meet the expectations of society. Only through a family can a person play a full part in society.

The "modern family" is a controversial topic that many disagree on. Some think that today's modern family is bad and should be more traditional, with family values of the past, while, on the other hand, some believe that the modern family, full of technology and evolving family values, is a good thing and should be celebrated. These opinions about the modern vs traditional family style are not as important as the four main components of a family. These components are the ability to take the idea of marriage/a relationship serious when considering starting a family, a supportive and beneficial parent-child relationship, a financially stable standing, and the ability to allow children to make their own decisions about things like political issues. I feel that if these four parts of a family are not met, then the family will fall apart, which is what we see a lot of in today's age. Whether it be financial situations that drive a couple apart, a hurtful parent-child relationship, over-sheltering of a child so that they follow their parents beliefs and values without question, or the couple does not take their marriage seriously when considering starting a family, meaning they do not openly discuss all of the above situations, financial or how to raise a child.

Nuclear family is defined as “familial form consisting of a father, a mother, and their children” (Conley, 2015, p. 453). This type of family was considered the traditional family in American society in the 1950s. The traditional family was when the man worked outside the home and the wife stayed at home and tended to the home and children. Also the idea of the traditional family has changed, especially with the rate of divorce and single parents increasing. “The divorce rate has been steadily rising since the nineteenth century, as divorce became less and less of a social and religious taboo” (Conley, 2015, p. 456).

I have had hands on experience with divorce, mixed families and even foster care, because of these unfortunate experiences, I do not believe that this has anything to do with the outcome of the children. One of the reasons I do not believe that having a non-traditional family makes the children failures is because in the end, you choose your own fate. Another reason is because it makes you a better, stronger person. Also, everyone is different so they handle situations differently, but I do not believe that any child is failure purely because their parents are “gay” or “divorced”.

Marriage, a form of interpersonal union that creates a familial bond and is recognized legally, religiously, or socially, gives participating partners mutual rights and responsibilities (Dictionary.com, 2018). Family ties are a deep source of satisfaction and meaning, yet the traditional family model is changing drastically.

I was raised in the 50’s. My parents came from Europe after the war in 1948 and began a new life with just the clothes on their back. They had some family here and every holiday, birthday, and just some weekends in between we would get together. By the 70’s in was already gradually starting to shift as high school seniors were heading off all over the country expanding their horizons as they embarked on college life. After college students embarked on new adventures stating their careers away from their families. Although it seemed subtle at the time, now reflecting back it seems loud and clear change has arrived. After high school I never moved back home just like many of my friends and of course this included my cousins. Eventually my aunts and uncles also moved to different states and everyone was all over the place. To this day I miss those wholesome days and wished my child could have had that experience growing up.

The nuclear family, and its out-dated definition given by George Murdock, was once considered the most natural and unquestioned of all family structures. However, as the definition of family expands to encompass more than just heterosexual relationships with two children, this “unquestioned” model is beginning to look out-dated. However, a new trend is emerging that is allowing the nuclear family to keep its form while still moving into the new 21st century model of family. It has now become the norm to have mothers in the workforce, but what about fathers. Where is their change in pace?

When a family member has a long or serious illness, it may interrupt family life as we know it. Per family traditions, the children and even the extended family members are not told why a member of the nuclei family is ill. When my father who was residing in another country had a stroke; the children were not timely informed. The concern was that it can disrupt school activities, knowing that all the children are in college in addition to the cost of travelling from one continent to another continent. Looking back now with the exposure to another culture and a professional as a nurse; I have was able to educate my family differently. Family tradition is so strong with superstitious beliefs. Older generations are beginning to understand that illness is part of life and family must care enough to express love that usually results in healing.

There are varieties of families in the world. People develop different personalities and mind sets because they have their own experience and knowledge gain from their individual families. In this essay, I will contrast and summarize each of nuclear, which is traditional, family and non-traditional families and also compare each of the families and examine how changing in non-traditional and nuclear families will affect people’s behaviors and minds in the view of sociologist and psychologist in order to argue how changing family affect individuals and the society.

Entering the home of a traditional family, the youngest children are in the living room watching television, arguing over the channel, as the oldest sibling is their room because they recently got suspended from school, and the dog is drinking out of the toilet bowl. In the meantime, the mother is the kitchen preparing dinner and setting up the dinner table. As she listens to the children arguing, the laundry timer goes off, and then her husband walks in from work. Now, not every home is as chaotic as this one, but even so, the woman was expected to handle each of these situations within the home and have everything prepared for her husband. Motherhood and housework were the most significant roles and positions of women in society. Rarely, would women have any type of education compared to the men. Overtime, women have conquered much of the challenges faced by the oppression in society, but not all. Gaining the rights to vote, receiving an education, working under for any occupation they chose to, etc. Although, there is still some sort of dominance and power that men have over women within every aspect of society; issues like gender and wage gap, gendered division of labor, second shift, glass ceiling, and many more are still prominent in society. Sheryl Sandberg, in her book, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, and in a Ted talk argues about all the issues women face and how women do not insist on their fair share in the home or working community.

Family dynamics are inherently fascinating; an amalgam of individuals, sharing genetic data, manufacture an implied social contract to care for one another. Those who are included in the family are those who choose to actively participate in family governance and support, as well as the youth of those participants. Moreover, as the youth progress towards adulthood, they are presented with a path of choices and directions that will define their individualism and their future inclusion in the family. Quite often, the youth can become antithetical to one another as they choose different paths. Nevertheless, having shared a great deal of traits in their upbringing, much can be learned in comparing their successes and failures which often have eerily inverse parallels.