The Velvet Rage : Overcoming The Pain Of Growing Up Gay

In the 1980’s and 1990’s, society wasn’t the most accepting of places for people who were different from the “social norms”. Now I know, people today still struggle with trying to fit in and be “normal” but it was different. Being a gay man living in San Fransisco at the time, which had a large gay population, Richard Rodriguez had a hard time dealing with the discrimination he faced. Richard Rodriguez was an American journalist who wrote and published a memoir about his life as a gay man. In October of 1990, Rodriguez published his memoir “Late Victorians” in Harper’s Magazine, a critically acclaimed publication of the time. In his memoir, Rodriguez describes what it was like to realize he was gay and watch as the country changed to become a more accepting place. He does this by setting up how things can change and then explaining the actual ways things change for the gay population.

The topic of homosexuality has become a constant issue throughout our society for many years. Many people believe that being gay is not acceptable for both religious and moral reasons. Because being gay is not accepted, many homosexuals may feel shame or guilt because of the way they live their everyday lives. This in turn can affect how the person chooses to live their life and it can also affect who the person would like to become. Growing up, David Sedaris struggled to find the common ground between being gay as well as being a normal teenager. He often resorted to the conclusion that you could not be both. Sedaris allows us to see things through his young eyes with his personable short story "I Like Guys". Throughout

Life for most homosexuals during the first half of the Twentieth century was one of hiding, being ever so careful to not give away their true feelings and predilections. Although the 1920s saw a brief moment of openness in American society, that was quickly destroyed with the progress of the Cold War, and by default, that of McCarthyism. The homosexuals of the 50s “felt the heavy weight of medical prejudice, police harassment and church condemnation … [and] were not able to challenge these authorities.” They were constantly battered, both physically and emotionally, by the society that surrounded them. The very mention or rumor of one’s homosexuality could lead to the loss of their family, their livelihood and, in some cases, their

Appleby, G A., & Anastas, J.W. (1998). Not just a passing phase: Social work with gay, lesbian and bisexual people (pp. 3–43, 44-75). New York: Columbia University Press.

Throughout the 1950’s, the United States belonged to the Leave It To Beaver era. Families were structured around a strong, hard working father and a wonderful homemaker mother. Children were brought up with solid ideologies on what society expects from them and were warned about living a different and dangerous life. Only one-year separates Tennessee William’s Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room from there publishing dates during this decade of unwavering beliefs. These texts were seen as extremely controversial during their time due to their themes of homosexuality. Sexual orientation was an awkward topic during such a “to the book” time period and these texts pushed the limits, making them remarkable and memorable works. Both Tennessee Williams and James Baldwin explore the panic men experience while trying to comprehend what sexual orientation they belong to and highlight the masculine gay man. These texts also examine the woman’s role in the mist of it all.

The word “gay” has gone through drastic changes. Traditionally, it was a positive term that meant to be “happily excited” or “jolly” (Merriam Webster, “Gay”). It was used regularly to express one’s feelings about life. Today, it has a far different meaning. Now people use the word gay to label homosexuals, those with feminine qualities, or those who do something thought to be outside of the norm for their gender. “Being gay” went from expressing someone’s happiness to describing his sexual preference. The definition of gay has changed so much that its original meaning has become archaic and lost to the times.

Roy Cohn and Joe Pitt represent the stereotypical gay man who refuses to publicly acknowledge his sexuality. They portray how gay men sometimes go to extreme lengths to deny their homosexuality. Both not only lie to others, but they lie to themselves. There is a certain sadness in the fact that some gay men desire the respect of strangers over being honest with themselves. Why do such a large number of gay men live lives in denial? The answer is simple. The answer is fear. Fear is the driving force behind many gay men's secrecy. The fear of how others may view them and the fear of how they will be received is overpowering.

Two Diaries, Donald Vining’s A Gay Diary Vol. Two and Martin Duberman’s Gay in the Fifties look into the everyday life of gay males in the post-World War II Era. While World War II increased freedom for men to sexually explore within the male community, post-World War II extended the freedom of exploration but also created a subsequent backlash against homosexual practices. Vining and Duberman’s diaries document an extension of gay freedoms in the post-World War II period. Although Vining and Duberman give contrasting accounts of their lives as gay males in the postwar period, common themes could be drawn in the form of friendships, sexual activity, relationships, and backlash by heteronormative society.

George Chauncey’s Gay New York Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World 1890-1940, goes where no other historian had gone before, and that is into the world of homosexuality before World War II. Chauncey’s 1994 critically acclaimed book was a gender history breakthrough that gave light to a homosexual subculture in New York City. The author argues against the idea that homosexual men lived hidden away from the world. Chauncey’s book exposes an abundant culture throughout the United States, especially in New York. In this book Chauncey not only shows how the gay population existed, but “uncovers three widespread myths about the history of gay life before the rise of the gay movement which was isolation, invisibility, and internalization.” Chauncey argues against these theories that in the years 1890-1940, America had in fact a large gay culture. Chauncey book is impactful in the uncovering of a lost culture, but also works as an urban pre-World War II history giving an inside view of life in the city through sexuality and class.

Growing up gay during adolescence, a time when a sense of self is being developed, realization of who you truly are, is often not possible for young gay men. Being different, not seeing yourself in characters on television or in books, or knowing a gay couple living in a long-term relationship deepens your doubts of being accepted by your family or friends for who you are on the inside. Hiding feelings of attraction toward other males while trying to cope with male hormones is a challenge. Frequently the choice made is trying to fit in, run with the other boys, pretend you are interested in the opposite sex, and measure up to society’s hyper-masculine ideal. Feeling awkward in a life that feels foreign to

“Coming out” is a means of identifying one’s sexual orientation as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. At its most basic, “coming out of the closet,” means being honest with those around you—friends, family, colleagues, and so forth—about your sexual orientation, about whom you are. It also means acknowledging one’s sexual orientation to self. Such disclosure is an ongoing, lifelong process rather than a one-time event. New personal, social, and professional situations require gay men and lesbians to make decisions about the degree to which they can be open about their sexual orientation (Morrow, 1996).

In the North American Journal of Psychology, William Jenkins, the author of “Can Anyone Tell Me Why I’m Gay,” reviews research that has attempted to determine what causes an individual to develop a

Queer was first used in reference to sexuality in the 1920s by homosexual men who rejected the effeminacy connected with the term “fairy” (Brontsema, 2004). Over the course of the early to mid-twentieth century both the terms fairy and queer fell out of fashion with the male homosexual community and “gay” became the most popular self-ascription for homosexual men (Brontsema, 2004). Around the mid to late twentieth century queer was primarily used as a derogatory term, levelled at homosexual people in general (Brontsema, 2004). Towards the end of the 1980s some within the LGBT community began to push for the reclamation of the word queer. One such group were “Queer Nation” an offshoot of the group ACT UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) (Brontsema, 2004). At the 1990 New York Gay Pride the group handed out leaflets headed “Queers Read This” (QUEERS READ THIS, 1990). In the pamphlet they addressed their use of the term queer saying “every gay person has his or her own take on it… for some it means eccentric…and for others “queer” conjures up those awful memories”. But what Queer Nation emphasise is that it should be the gay community who get to decide what the word means; it’s “a weapon we can steal from the homophobe’s hand and use it against him”. They also emphasise the fact that it is them who decides the meaning and the value ascribed to it saying “queer means leading a different sort of life”,

Gender identity is a highly controversial subject. The notion that one's gender is a significant determination of personality traits, behavioral characteristics, social tendencies, romantic engagements and self-perception is a critical one. However, it is also subject to debate because of the imperatives created by the social construct of gender. This often clashes with what are, in reality, more nuanced and individualized connections to gender. This is particularly highlighted by the interview which has informed the research here. Specifically, the interview subject is a male of the homosexual orientation who would endure difficulty as a child fully understanding the meaning of his gender identity. As the discussion shows here, this is a common emotional disorder for individuals contending with some sexual confusion but should also not be conflated with homosexuality itself.

Queer theory questions creations of normal and divergent, insider, and outsider.2 Queer theorists analyse a situation or a text to determine the relationship between sexuality, power and gender. Queer theory challenges basic tropes used to organize our society and our language: even words are gendered, and through that gendering an elliptical view of the hierarchy of society, and presumption of what is male and what is female, shines through. Queer theory rejects such binary distinctions as arbitrarily determined and defined by those with social power. It works to deconstruct these binaries, particularly the homosexual/heterosexual binary.4