The Waffle House Essay

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The Waffle House

It's late one Friday night. You, accompanied by a select group of your closest friends, drive down the interstate, wanting desperately to be at home in the warmth of your bed. Suddenly, the lot of us sees the sign. Like a beacon it is, summoning us to it like proverbial moths to a flame. Forgetting about the need for sleep, we turn onto the off ramp, a string of drool dripping down and off of your chin. "Waffle House," we say with a gleam in our eyes, "we have arrived." What follows will be one of the most important events of our adult lives: a tireless ritual continuing into infinity all across the nation's good expanse.

The Waffle House is without a doubt one of the last surviving institutions of
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Our struggle, however, is forgotten once the waitress finally arrives, casually sauntering over to us with looks of total indifference. She stuffs her loose and falling hair back up into her gaudy, burgundy cloth hat.

"So, whaddyallhave?" she asks, waiting for us to decipher her strange and jumbled dialect. More often than not, the only reason we come here is to order what Waffle House is most famous for, and that (as if you needed to be told) is coffee. Waffle House coffee is a mystical brew with high caffeine content and an identifiable taste. No other restaurant's coffee is as desirable, because only Waffle House's has that "real man," industrial strength flavor. Grumpily, the waitress stomps away, aware that her tip will be far less than generous.

Anyone who knows anything about the politics behind the Waffle House experience also knows that there are definite rules and guidelines that dictate how the course of events is to be played out during the span of a single visit. This routine begins with the arrival of the much anticipated cups of coffee, continues with pleasant conversation and playful intercourse amongst the customers, and culminates with the paying of the check and the inevitable departure. Our Waffle House chef makes the claim that the people who frequent the restaurant are, for the most part, regulars and that they all seem to

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