The Worst Day Of My Life

Communication apprehension has played a huge role on my life. Growing up I thought I was a social butterfly, not worrying about what people thought about me or how they viewed me. I had some great friends growing up that were always supportive of me. We would hang out all the time and meet new people and just have fun. It wasn’t until I was a little bit older that I learned of the fear of public speaking.

Every time someone came up to me I started feeling uncomfortable, as if they were gonna judge every move I made. I cared more about what people thought of me when I didn’t really even know who I was because I was too scared to talk out loud to

Public speaking used to be a daunting task that I would try to avoid as often as possible, often I would be the last to present a project and would refrain myself from having to read outloud. When I would speak my head would fill with thoughts of how other were perceiving me and how easy it would be to mess up. With this nervous mentality my speaking was stuttered and confusing.

One of my more vivid experiences of public speaking was when I was taking a class at a community college. While taking this class I would often have to give speeches and demonstrations in front of the class. As I was waiting for my turn to give my very first speech, I was very certain that I would have no problems at all, it would a piece of cake, or so I thought. All of a sudden, I hear my name being called as it was my turn to deliver a knockout performance, but as I stood in front of that small class of people I just blanked out. An overwhelming amount of anxiety came over of me. I could feel my heart beginning to race and my hands starting to sweat. I could not for the life of me remember what I was going supposed say. In addition, the

One of my first experiences that I can remember is when my Grandmother was having a book signing. I had to introduce her to the audience. Telling all of these people that I did not know, who she was, what she wrote, and why she was having a book signing. At 13, this was an unusual experience but because of my Grandmother’s inspiration, hard work and exceptional gift in poetry, I knew that I needed to do this for her, as well as for myself. Having spoken in front of a crowd like this has boosted my self confidence remarkably, it made me come out of my shy shell and become more outspoken. I felt that if I could overcome that fear, I could overcome anything making myself prepared for everything that came my

Whether I like it or not I been given the opportunity to talk to large crowds like a squadron or just a couple of people in the class. My problems have always been the same getting shy, anxiety, and even sweating. Learn to analyze the size of the audience, I want to be able to captivate my audience and overall I just need to find the confidence in myself to do it.

Actually, not too long ago I was reasonably confident and had no problems with talking to people. This all changed the day we were given the assignment of a presentation. The word presentation already sends shivers down my spine thinking about it. Everyone hates them, right? Not me. Not when I was in first year anyway. Truth be told I was ecstatic to do this presentation, I loved speaking infront of others, forcing them to laugh at my "witty" jokes and boring them to death with things I considered interesting. When the word "presentation" or "solo talk" was mentioned, I used to jump for joy. Now, I shrink into my seat and stare at my desk, hoping it will go away. I would spend hours on talks, preparing them and memorising them. A few years down the line I would find myself struggling to write notes as I begin to think about standing in front of an audience, causing my heart to beat rapidly and my hands to shake. It's not fair, really. Even now I still panic when trying to think of what to say, as it has to be

Claudia Stepanovich gave me a message through power point that I completely agree with and that is that public speaking is not a skill you are born with; it is something that you have to learn and get better at. This message spoke to me, because I am extremely nervous about public speaking and I always avoid it when I can; when I can’t avoid it I always get nervous and start to stutter and forget information.

Whenever I think about my time in elementary school and even in early middle school, I can't help but just smile, reflecting on how everything in my life appeared to be a perfect chain of events that resulted in who I am now. I remember always being told as a kid that I was shy and didn’t talk much. At first I wondered why I had such a lack of social skills and wondered why I had such a hard time expressing what I thought. While I personally believe I have overcome my shyness and have become a much more open and expressive person, I sill think back to what may have caused that awkward period of time.

I was not confident in my actions, but I was able to disregard what others said at the expense of closer ties with my friends. By creating this persona I created a shell for myself. One that nurtured my shyness to unfamiliar experiences and shielded me from saying a word. When I began high school, I told myself that I could start fresh and be a new person. Although, even as a junior, I only managed to succeed in disposing of the depressing, serious attitude. I still do not talk much, but I am open to new experiences and can accept some form of humiliation or

So, for me to be up on stage in front of the whole school was very overwhelming. How I manage to get through with my parts I will never know. Having a very low voice, it made it very difficult for everyone to hear what I was saying. I have somewhat grown out of my shyest, I did manage to give a speech about our upcoming annual walk that takes place yearly. I have those moments where it is difficult for me to stand in front of a large group of people, though I am working on it. I know that it will help me build self-confidence, by speaking more in front of an audience to help gain that

The way that you talk to yourself is different than the way you talk to others, especially an audience. You may be more confident and ready in front of yourself but less confident in front of others so again, practicing, in front of a group of friends or audience can help you prepare better. It is still one of my goals to be able to perform wonderfully in front of the class one day.

Before 2nd grade, I rarely ever had problems being in front of large groups of people. Every year in elementary school, we had a concert where we sing in a program. Second grade was different; it was the year that my fear of public speaking was created. It was the creation of one of my biggest demons. Our second grade program was an absolute disaster because we had to do the program twice. The first time, it was a stormy night and a tornado was spotted in the area. The second time, a boy in my class got sick in the middle of it and threw up all over another little girl in my class. Seeing that made me instantly sick to my stomach. I was always afraid to throw up in front of people since that experience.

I was known to be an introverted and quiet person. As I reflected, I questioned if I want to be like this forever. Of course not. In life, there are times where I have to deal with different people. I used to be nervous whenever I have to public speak and present in front of the class. But this all changed in Junior year of high school. In my Psychology class, we had to do a lot of presentations and public speaking. I was nervous in the beginning, but then it gradually goes away after practicing a lot.

I don’t remember much about that day. That day led to a lot of bad things and dark days. I was in middle school, 14 or 15. I was feeling a little bit better after i woke up. I had already been gone for a week or more. It start out as a normal morning. I ate breakfast, got dressed, and did all of the essential things to get ready for school. My sister was already ready. She was going to highschool at that time. My brother was isolated in his room, my father was asleep. My mom is always up when we get ready to go to school. That was no surprise. Smokie one of our cats at the time was really old. My mom was was sitting on our couch using her computer. The smell of freshly brewed coffee was in the air. The sun was just coming up, but it was