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Thesis Statement For Oedipus

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A man can only justify his actions if he regards his demeanor with deductive thinking. This man was not Oedipus mainly because he was a fu**ing douchebag. One must know who Oedipus was to understand the period in which it was written. This is my thesis statement. The Greeks contributed many things to our culture, such as olives, gyros, Lenny Kravitz, anal sex, and Oedipus. Oedipus will be remembered though out time because he suffered from Lou Gehrig's disease, and that's why he couldn't play base ball in the first Olympic games. He will always be remembered for his journeys and his love for the New York Yankees.

Laius and Jocasta were king and queen of Thebes, a town in Greece. They were fu**ing around and Laius forgot to strap his sh**. One day, they had a baby boy. An oracle prophesied that the boy would grow up and kill his father and marry his mother. Laius was like fu** that sh**, that's gay. To thwart the prophecy, Laius and Jocasta decided to kill their baby. They fingered his butt hole and sent him on his way. In those days, it was usual to leave an unwanted or defective baby in the wilderness. Laius and Jocasta did this. To be extra sure, they pierced his little feet and tied them together. (Don't worry about this detail, which makes no sense. It must have been introduced to explain the hero's name.) A kindly shepard found the baby in a pool skimmer. He gave the baby to a friend, who took it to Corinth, another town. (Corinth reappears in the New Testament. Under the category of DVDA, versus 63) The king and queen of Corinth couldn't have a baby of their own. The king had a bad case of the limp dick. So they adopted the foundling. Nobody ever told little Oedipus that his mother was never pregnant. She aborted a kitten in a toilet in the back of a Denver Denny's. One day, after he had grown up, a drunk mentioned his being adopted. Oedipus killed the bum. Oedipus questioned his parents, but they denied it. Oedipus visited various oracles to find out whether he was really adopted. All the oracles told him instead he would kill father and marry his mother. He told them that they were dissin' him so he grabbed his 12 sided double dildo and left town. (None of this makes much sense. Again, don't worry

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