Today Is The Day

The year was 2015 and in my mind it was going to be one of the most pivotal moments in my life. I was turning 16, getting my driver’s license, inching closer toward adulthood, gaining my independence, and free from adult responsibilities and worries. What I did not know was that one catastrophic event would have such a devastating impact on my life.

As my car climbed the hill, my heart sunk into my stomach. I parked as far away from my friends as I could and quickly exited the car, not once looking at them. Now it was every man for himself. Emerging into the open air, I suddenly became aware of myself. I could feel my puffy, blood-shot eyes. My palms became slimy. My fingers clinched into a fist and my nails dug into my skin. My sight blurred and my tunnel of vision tried to focus on the front door. Every step seemed more awkward than the last. Eyes pierced me from all sides. I felt naked. My body trembled like a sheep in the midst of wolves.

I’m in the prison line minding my own business as a few girls punch me. I did nothing to them, but that day i was getting out of prison and the girls get jealous if the others get out. The police are sending me to a foster home. My seventh one and i’m hoping it’s the last. My head is throbbing and there is a cut on the upper part of my lip. Before I leave I ask where is my brother you said you promise would never split us apart. The social worker finds my brother and he is taken out of the home he is in, now he is with me I feel safe.

I wake to a knock at my door. I open my eyes and startle. I'm in an unfamiliar room. Where am I? Suddenly, a million devastating memories flow through my mind at once. There's blood, and tears, and anger. I'm pulled from my mind by my Aunt Julia's voice, "It's happenin' again, ain't it dear?" she asked, her southern drawl more apparent than usual.

“It’ll be okay, ‘zil. I promise,” he whispered, trying to sound reassuring. She shuddered slightly, but otherwise remained still.

On May 19th, 2012 my whole life was turned around. See, my mom had a drug and alcohol problem, so her state of mind wasn’t really in a good place. As I reached my grandmother’s house in Brooklyn, New York, her telephone started to ring. On the other end, was the sound of a woman crying, the type of cry where you can’t get your words out and no one can understand what you are saying. It was the cry of my mother. I couldn’t really make out any of the words she was saying but I clearly heard the part about my brothers being taken away from her by ACS. Now, remember the date I told you in the beginning? Yeah, they day all this happened was on my birthday. This event made me grow and change my whole life around in so many ways.

It’s 4:46 am. The pounding in my head is starting to be painful already. I get up and walk towards the bathroom. “I failed you again father.” I repeat this over and over. “Why doesn’t he love me? Why can’t I do anything right?” I start to cry. “No! There is one thing I know I can do correctly,” I say while still crying. A shotgun to the head? No, that's messy. Slitting my wrist? Maybe if I mix it with drugs so that I bleed out while I’m passed out. I go with it. A bit dramatic but it will be the most effective way I have. I open up my medicine cabinet and take out the back of my cabinet to reveal a stash. I pull out morphine, cocaine, gin, and thorazine. I take my stash to the kitchen and pull out the largest glass I own. I mix everything together. It smells horrid like rotten milk. I hold my breath and chug. It taste rancid. I feel tipsy. I can’t figure out if I’m happy or depressed. The uppers say your fine while the downs say go

In the dark foggy alley Normîrel ran. The smell of rain and sour milk filling the air. She ran down the long narrow alley way, watching mice scurry as her feet splash in the clear dirty rain puddles. Her heart ponding in her chest. Hearing the sound of the motorcycle behind her, her heart stopped. Running faster, Normîrel turned on to the street and down the other alley. With the sound of her footsteps echoing in her ears. A car pulled up at one end of the alley. Making another turn in the twisty foggy alley way, Normîrel fell. The screams of her pain raining out in the cold brisk air. Hearing footsteps, Normîrel crawled to some near-by dumpsters and hid. The footsteps getting louder and close, Normîrel stayed as quite as she could while trying to muffle her cries of pain. Her leg is dirty with the dark red color and she chocked on the smell of gas and smoke that filled her nose.

The sky was still dark as I got out of my car in front of the school building. The winter morning was silent beyond the crunch of my boots in the snow and the howl of the wind. Immediately after stepping out from the shelter of my car, I was welcomed by the piercing wind, it was relentless. The door was about 30 feet away and had I not been scared of tripping I would’ve run to escape the cold. I shoved my hands in my coat pockets and began my way to the front door. The air stung my eyes each time a gust passed, my nose began to run, and although I couldn’t see for myself, I’m sure most of my face had taken on a red color from the biting wind.

Slowly and carefully I walk home alone holding my shirt up sobbing. This all happened so fast and painfully my friends all abandoned me, I feel things crawling around my head, I'm screaming of pain.come on Leland you can do it almost home. Suddenly my sister burst out the door, I look at her blankly pleading for help in my mind. Soon dad comes rushing out too and they take me inside. I can hardly hear them through my screaming.

November 23, 2009 is a day I’ll never forget. I was a freshman in college. It started of a typical day on the campus of University of Southern Mississippi. I went to class and the went home. This particular day I decided to go to my boyfriend’s apartment to spend time with him before he left for work. Bird’s chirping, wind whistling, I thought today was a beautiful day. Little did I know, my world was about to come to a screeching halt.

Today was September 12, 2012. I had woken up like any other normal day and was getting ready for school. I typically don’t eat breakfast, but that one simple mishap can lead to the unbelievable. Little did I know that only in the matter of a half hour of arriving to school my whole day would come crashing down. I had arrived at West Jay Middle School and had got my books and went to class. I was in eighth grade then. I felt normal like any other day, but it had appeared that I had been wrong.

I couldn’t hear the yelling on the street anymore, but the stomping on the stairs began again, it was like for every stomp I heard, I lost a breath and I was beginning to drown again. For some odd reason, I thought I could make this other person that I had grown up with calm down. I went out my room, “Adriel, I love you. Please just leave and calm down.” Every word I said seemed to slip between his ears. Instead, he went straight into his room going through every drawer, I knew exactly what he was looking for, another high so he could feel normal, or just to get out of his mind. I locked myself in my room knowing if I saw anymore, I would want to call the cops on my own

I stumble out my one-night-stand’s apartment grasping on to the nearest railing for support. Sloppily, I buckle my belt and take a swig from my vodka bottle, stinging my throat with every drop. The bottle slips out of my hand crashing at my feet, almost in slow motion. I giggle hysterically and hobble down the steps. My brain is numb and filled with psychotic thoughts. I grab the car door handle and slump into the cushioned seat, nearly passing out, from a night of careless sex and non-stop alcohol can really put a load on a 5’6, skinny guy. Without thinking a grab my keys and start the car pulling out to the abandoned, dimly lit freeway. Everything was better at night.

There was once a day in my life that was colder than ice cubes and more serious than a broken heart. July 7,2009, was the day when my whole world would turn upside down. My parents went from thoughts, to threats, and then to a final decision. This decision was either going to make me or break me in my upcomming future. This future consited of me living in Florida with my Aunt Jocelyne for a better path of life and education.