Tough Love Approach on Children

Children will always need guidance in what good behaviour is and it is the adult/carer role to teach them. Working with children who have behavioural issues as a result of neglect and abuse I often see children acting in negative ways as a way of seeking attention. This is a result of their lived experiences and they need to be taught how to seek attention in a more positive way that allows for less chaos and full of growth. Behaviour of such kind is also an indicator something is not right and they lack the right communication skills or are not being heard. It is important that we try to identify patterns of behaviour or triggers because:

This is not to say that the parents are bad parents or stupid, they just do not realize that children can pick up on things at a young age as they watch them. As parents they should monitor what they do around their children, so that the child does not have to learn bad habits. If the children does happen to do something bad they should take the necessary course of action to make sure that the child knows that the act is bad and should tell them the right course of action. Showing your children the way of life and how it should be lived could positively affect their growth as they mature into teenagers and eventually adults. Now I know everyone is not perfect and we may fail to be a perfect role model, but at least try to keep the negativity to a bare minimum around the child. Parental guidance is always necessary in life. As parents you have experienced the things that the child may be going through and can relate to them on matters because you have been there. I believe if more parents were to talk to their children and try to blend it into being their child’s best friend the problem with aggression can seize itself because every learned action can be unlearned.

Bazelon discusses both sides of the argument and seems to leave the decision to the reader. There are so many different parenting styles. Different cultures have a different approach toward parenting and also every parent and every child is different. I think it’s very challenging to find the balance to effective child discipline. Maybe

As explained before physical intervention should not be used unless it can be clearly justified why it was used, it is not always neccessary. When dealing with challenging behaviour you can use restrictive intervention such as language which may result in the young person changing their behaviour before it even leads to an incident. For example there is a young person in my care who we have observed that responds well to humour, so if he is beginning to display negative/challenging behaviour we try to make jokes with him and sometimes tickle him. This turns his mood around and prevents an incident even taking place. It is important to use the least restrictive interventions where possible as if you didnt it could lead to further dilemmas such as verbal abuse, physical abuse, damage to property etc.

In life, there are many actions one can take to portray good examples. Actions play an important number in helping one deal with a child's emotional distress. A major key to success when setting a good example is always trying to keep a positive attitude. Punishment is not

the root of the problem seems to be, (b) a diagnosis of the disorder (drawing on your knowledge of material from

But, howcome no one ever talks about the well being of the parents as well. A hardworking mother can be deemed as a failure to her child all because she wanted to help them. The mother could have had the same punishment as a child, and since it seemed like it worked for her, she carried it on into her own personal life. A child who may not understand the extent of what they did. For example, they stole candy at night when the parents made it clear not to. The child recieves a "wooping" and suddenly feels so terrified to even wake up in the middle of the night. Parents do not always have time to, take away cell phones, put you in time out.What is more accepsible is grabing a belt. Swinging it all around to make the child pay attention. Well, if this is the case, why do so many children misbehave. Most recently, shows like dr.phil find ratings in recruiting young, children who are reckless. Audience memebers could be wondering, "If that was my chilld, all I need was a spank" Better said than done. Not everyone can really look at a situation and determine the outcome. ALTHOUGH, child displanory stuff have been said to be controversial. Spanking a child can be seen as a way of letiting the children know who is in charge. A child with autism, however, may find it harder to comprehend this. The affects of the hitting can become too overwhelming to the point where they cannot trust their caregiver. There could be risks of

A child’s who’s behavior is challenging is not the fault of parent/carers/ older siblings and there is a reason for the behavior and by identifying the cause can help. It can help parents/carers and the child to meet up with other parents/carers/children for support help reduce any feelings of anxiety, isolation or despair. To find parent support groups, play and leisure groups, sibling groups, respite and other services in your area contact social services. If the child is hospitalized for short/long periods of time there are facilities and help groups placed within the hospital services which also provide contact numbers,

Most parents will research their options to help their child but are they doing enough to help their child? Parents are experiencing total frustration, exhaustion and desperation in their child’s behavioral issues as their child is having trouble paying attention and controlling impulsive behaviors. Parents will find themselves relying on the advice of their provider to medicate their child with the use of powerful stimulant medication when they could be feeling that they are at their wits end and turn to and at times persuading providers to prescribe medication to control their children because of feeling that they have no other choice. Parents have a responsibility to learn and inform themselves of other methods for treatment as medication has its consequences. According to other webpages such as understood.org states the positives of taking the medications and how successful he child can be to lead a normal life. On the opposite side of the spectrum, this can lead to other mental health issues like drug dependencies when the child goes into adulthood. Regardless of the situation, all parents should seek the advice of a provider. However, it is at this time that the provider has a responsibility to help and guide parents to avoid serious medication treatments as a last resort.

Children will make mistakes, it’s apart of growing up and learning lessons, no one is perfect. We need to teach children that it is okay to mess up, it helps us learn from our mistakes. The last thing we want is having our own children afraid their parents. They should be able to trust their parents and know that they will care for them and love them. Physically punishing children makes it harder for kids to trust their parents, and it sends their stress levels through the roof knowing that they have to try and be perfect or else there will be a punishment. Children can be a blessing, but sometimes they can be a little too much to handle. When parents take the physical charge to hurt their children, people don’t know if they took it too far

Every person involved in the situation needs individual “game plans”. One treatment does not fit all. Each individual person has a specific plan to help them with the problem he or she may have. This may include medicine, medical attention, schooling, or even jail. For the child this might include schooling, medical attention, or even foster homes.

Children and adolescents should not be forced into therapy if they don’t wish to receive it because, it can make their psychological symptoms worse. It can increase their anger, sadness and cause them to distance themselves from others more. Sometimes they just don’t feel like talking to anyone about their problems. There are many alternatives instead of forcing you child in to therapy if they don’t want it. Children and teens can also feel betrayed by their parents when they force them to go to therapy. This may also make them feel upset but this action.

Corporal punishment in these days has been becoming a topic in many old timers talks. Many believe that it helps and is definitely the way to go. The older generations still seem to believe that society would be better off if kids still got punished the way they did. They refuse to ignore data that has not supported the clams they bring up about making children better behaved or as they call it “Straightening them up”. Many believe that our liberal democracy population has views that are not valid and that the old ways need to come back to help us grow.

Children are like flowers, if well taken care of they will bloom. If ignored or tortured, they will wither and die. Child discipline is one of the most important elements of successful parenting. Today, many people have this notion that physical abuse is in no way a solution to helping children discern between right and wrong. Since generations children have been taught the art of discipline through physical punishment. Often this approach to disciplining has resulted in two outcomes, one is where the child becomes more tolerant and is willing to adhere to what he/she has been told, or the other which more often results in children developing a sense of anguish and desire to revolt.

Santrock (2010) gives the advice for parents stating “ recognize that the quality of your parenting is a key factor in your child’s development…..parents should observe for themselves whether their children seen to be having behavior problems”. (p.372)