True De-Sex-Tive Communication Between Men And Women

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

To define these communication conundrums, Tannen discusses “rapport-talk” and “report-talk”. She defines “rapport-talk” as “For most women, the language of conversation is primarily

The articles “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it Hard for Men and Women to Talk to each other” by Deborah Tannen and “Speaking Different Languages” by John Gray are about how men and women often misunderstand each other which causes conflicts and or arguments. When a woman says something it usually has a deeper meaning, but men are usually more direct when speaking; this leads to conflicts and relationship problems. According to Tannen and Gray, men and women can adjust their thinking to minimize misunderstanding by translating each other’s dialect, by understanding their different ways of listening, and different body languages.

In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women 's conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the "conversation rituals" among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the "conversation rituals" among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

For men the conversation is used to preserve their sense of independence and establish or impose their dominance. I was watching the show Real Talk last nigh and it is a gossip show with five young ladies who share their opinions. Ideas. and things that go on in their life. After reading this I started to think that this would never work if it were five men because they would always be in competition with one another. If one guy says “ I just bought a 2014 Dodge Challenger” the other guy would say “I just bought a 2016 Dodge Challenger SXT,WITH 20 inch rims and a HEMI”. Guys are always in competition if a guy told me he just bought a new car I’m going to ask to drive it. That just shows women and men speak a different

For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve Independence and negotiate and maintain status and a hierarchical social order. This is done by exhibiting knowledge and skill, and by holding Center Stage through verbal performance such as storytelling joking, or imparting information. From childhood, men learn to use talking as a way to get and keep attention. So they are more comfortable speaking in larger groups made up of people they know less well--in the broadest sense, ‘public speaking.’ But even

According to statistics, poor communication or lack of communication is the leading cause of failure for a relationship or marriage. Men and women find it hard to share information and it affects their everyday lives. Deborah Tannen’s essay “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” discusses how men and women communicate differently. Tannen discusses that the body language of men and women use during conversation, she concluded that men tend to be quit with a woman, and the fear women have being pushed away while the men aren’t in touch with the women’s feeling. In knowing these differences men and women can improve how to communicate with each other.

Communication differences can be traced back to the human biology. Females have some male testosterone hormone and men have some progesterone and estrogen in their body. Maybe this is the reason why the genders have a hard time communicating with one another. In the words of John Gray “Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets and were supposed to be different. In one morning, everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day, men and women have been in conflict” (11). What Gray is trying to push across is that gender differences have been there since birth. Females having XX chromosome and Males having XY chromosome, there have always been a genetic/biological difference in the way the two genders address and see one another. In “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: a Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in a Relationship ”, Gray reasons that men and women have diverse communication styles, needs, goals, and values, and that the key to a successful relationship between the genders are for both to understand these differences. Gray mentions some differences that include women wanting to feel treasured and men wanting to feel necessary, and women wanting respect and commitment and men wanting appreciation and admiration. He also talks about women being relationship oriented and men being goal oriented. He explains that when it

One significant difference between the communication of men and women is the need for men to solve problems while women would rather communicate in order to simply converse. But what is the basis behind each individual’s way of communication? The truth is that women usually want to share their feelings and build relationships, while studies show that men communicate to affirm their authority in society or to solve problems. Women also try to solve problems but they do it differently. Men listen to the

This research paper focuses on the gender differences at work and their communication styles. It discusses the manner in which men and women take in communicating to others. It is viewed that men are no longer the power house of communication. Research will indicates that in group settings, not one gender type dominates the conversation, but the one who shows leadership is determined to have power. In addition, studies indicate that men are less intuitive than women because women express nonverbal communication with great sensitivity.

Yesterday when I drive my friend to his house, he told me that their teacher cancel the class without sending them the email. My friend told me what happened to his friends he always use pronouns instead of their names. So when the story has more than one person involved. I always misunderstood what person he’s talking about. This kind of miscommunication are common between the opposite genders. Men and women see the world through different perspective. Their communicate styles are very different. One way to understand how men and women are different is to understand the way they communicate. Deborah Tannen, the university professor and Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University, explains the different communication styles between men and women in her book You just don 't understand: women and men in conversation. The book gather the research done by Tannen and other experts in 1999. She uses her experience and her observations to explain her theories. Wondering if Tannen’s theories are still accurate in today’s society, I did some research and observation in the San Francisco Bay Area. And I found that most of Tannen 's theories are still accurate today, but some are not.

It's no secret that men and women often have difficulty communicating with one another. How many times, for example, have small disagreements combusted into gigantic tragedies with the exchange of only a few words and frustrated expressions? Despite the fact that male and female bodies were obviously made for clear interaction, our respective linguistic capabilities appear to have been scrambled. Some people may wonder how in the hell the human race continues to propagate given the disparaging gap separating the sexes.

The other element Tannen found important to conversation was topical cohesion, being “how speakers introduce and develop topics in relation to their own and others ' prior and projected talk,” (“Gender Differences in Conversational Coherence” 168). In this, the women were quick to find topics to talk about. Their conversations were personal, even at a young age. They talked about few topics, but expanded on them all. Men were, again, completely different. They talked about many topics and had a hard time finding something to talk about from the beginning. Once they did find something to talk about, they talked about it in the abstract instead of making the conversation personal. (“Gender Differences in Conversational Coherence” 180-203).

One of the main topics this book focuses on is the social aspect of relationships, regarding parent to child, parent to parent, and child to peer. In the psychology 135 class there has been discussion in regards to importance and significance of having healthy or open communication in relationships. An important concept that has been discussed when it comes to communication in gender differences is report vs. rapport. According to the course text, Marriages, Families, & Relationships: Making Choices in a Diverse Society by Mary Ann Lamanna and Agnes Riedmann, Report talk is what men typically engage in which is mainly aimed at conveying information, Rapport is what women usually engage in by speaking to gain or reinforce intimacy or connection with others (Lamanna 328). In other words report is used in order to gain a solution while rapport is used to gain or foster intimacy. When connecting this information to