Essay on Two Theories that Relate to the Breakdown of Relationships

The third concept we choose to write on is Terminating. According to the book Looking Out Looking In, terminating is the stage where relationships deteriorate until they reach their final stage. Not all relationships end, many of the marriages last for a lifetime, but other relationships have the desire to dissociate. (Alder, 2012) Like it was the case of the movie, Brooke decides to terminate the relationship because she felt that there is nothing much left. She believed that Gary did care much about her. But the problem really was that both of them didn’t find a way to communicate effectively. Although Brooke and Gary loved each other very much it was impossible for them to be together because of the lack of communication.

As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.

Main Idea 2: In addition, it is reasonable to give up on a relationship when the circumstances are not in favor.

“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

The decision of separation is made by both partners in the relationship mostly due to, extramarital affairs. The lack of love between a couple forces them to create other relationships that will provide the love they are missing. This results in the situation becoming worse as the separation between the individuals increases. In addition, the individual will not have a reason to fix the broken relationship because they start prioritizing other ones. This causes anger

The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending

Variables such as abuse, illness, death, and financial issues all factor into crumbling marriages; “irreconcilable

Relationship satisfaction is an important part of romantic relationships. A lack of satisfaction can lead to consequences in other areas of life and eventually, the destruction of the relationship. For example, job performance is heavily influenced by romantic relationship satisfaction. In a study by Greenhaus and Beutell (1985), they argued that poor satisfaction leads to poor job performance and vice versa. They stated this was to because these two spheres are “interdependent.” Satisfaction can also influence quality of health. Conflict in a marital relationship is associated with higher heart rates and blood pressure (Broadwell & Light, 1999; Ewart, Taylor, Kaemer & Agras, 1991; Flor, Breitenstein, Birbaumer & Furst 1995; Frankish & Linden, 1996; Kiecolt-Glaser, 1993; Mayne, O’Leary, McCrady, Contrada & Labouvie, 1997; Morell & Apple, 1990; Shwartz, Slater & Birchler, 1994; Thomsen & Gilbert, 1998). It is also strongly associated with depression and depressed syndromes (Beach, Fincham & Katz, 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). This relationship between marital conflict and depression seems to be bidirectional meaning depression is not only a result of conflict but also is caused by the conflict (Beach, et. al., 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). Because a lack of relationship satisfaction can negatively affect so many important areas of life, it is important to understand what influences the level of satisfaction held in romantic relationships.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

According to Knapp’s model of Relational Development, he described the stages in which a relationship goes within the make up and break up steps of coming together and coming apart. This blog will discuss each stage with examples.

The recurring theme that is raised in Tyler Perry’s film Why Did I Get Married? Is “Can These Marriages Survive?” The infidelity of two husbands leads to the discussion of the “80/20 Rule.” The rule simply implies that within a marriage, most people only receive eighty-percent of what they want and need from their partners, leading them to go outside of their relationship in an effort to find what they think they are missing. Usually, it’s not until the spouse has stepped out the relationship that they realize that now only twenty-percent of their needs are being met. At this point, they have left their eighty for their twenty, which is a significant downgrade.

The rate of divorce has greatly increased over the past decade and determining the factors and characteristics that deem a marriage successful can be considered a “hot button” issue in today’s society. Research studies have been conducted to attempt to target the reasons for marriage failures. Conversely, the purpose of this research study was to determine what married couples considered to be the most prominent factors contributing to marital success. Examining these key characteristics through a qualitative lens may help to provide society with a greater understanding of how a successful marriage is sustained. In this study, “success” will be defined as compatibility, strategies for working together through hardships, and remaining married for twenty years or longer. The definition was compiled from earlier studies, interviewed couples, and literature written about successful marriages and key elements that keep couples together.

The article written by Bellaisa Filippis in "The Main Reasons Why Relationships Fail," from Self Growth, The Online Self Improvement Community, helped me realized that there are far more things or reasons that affect a relationship, she mentioned one issue that I wasn't able to find

¨ Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher ¨ Adapted from the Encyclopedia of psychology.