Typology: A Short Story

I never thought that would be, my last vision of you... and it still haunts me. Years have come and gone, yet it seems like only yesterday, that you drove away. I replay those last moments in my mind, over and over, looking for some sign of what was about to happen; but there were none. No epiphany, no moment of great understanding, nor clarity, no clue or insight as to why... Who could have known that you would vanish, disappear without trace for all those years. Now a chill wind blows outside my door; so many nights of walking the floor, wondering where you

It’s been awhile since i’ve written here, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I drop flowers at your grave at the end of each week. I guess i’m feeling better although I slept next to you the other day; that’s not weird is

You were my everything, you were there for me. And now you left me empty, nothing in my caged heart. The emptiness inside me is the only way to safety. You broke me and left me empty, but know I’m stronger than you will ever be.

Remember when you said you’ll be there for me, have my back, and fight for me, Remember when we would play fight, play video games, especially FIFA, and sleep together, Remember when you used to blame on me for everything, read me bedtime stories, and cook for, I’ll forget those moments we’ve shared. You was gone too soon. It’s not your fault that you was in the hospital, or buried, we don’t know what happened to you, it happened too soon,

When I finally get to the lake that has become my getaway, I park my bike and rest on the rough pavement of the yacht club. I bask in the sun’s rays for a while, allowing my heart rate to slow down to the weak, melancholy rhythm it has been for a month now. I turn my head to face the lake, squinting an eye so the glistening blue water of Lake Delta swims into focus. I look from every party barge to speed boat, trying to make out any familiar faces in the distance. Every once in awhile a boat crosses right in front of the yacht club, close enough to where I can almost hear the laughter of the participants, maybe some loud music playing to accompany their chorus of chatter. I sit up then, trying to recognize them, hoping that one of them is you. You told me we could still go on the boat together, even after everything. You said we’ll still be close, that you still cared so much about me. But you won’t respond to my RSVPs. Unsatisfied with yet another day without seeing you, I stand up, brushing off the ants that had traveled up my thighs, and feel the slight aching of something inside of me. While I told myself over and over again I don’t want to see you, don’t care enough to want you, I still find myself going to the lake everyday, playing the same songs, and sit staring out at the boats, wishing I was in the water instead of on the

A desperate apology pours out the teenage who sits inside his mother’s parked car. Near his feet is a backpack containing what he has been living on since becoming homeless. There are two shirts, a single pair of jeans, two packs of Marlboros, a laptop computer, a brush and fifteen dollars in cash. A roof could not fit inside the backpack. His mother suspects this was the real reason he called, not because he had finally realized how badly he hurt everyone. However, she still listens hopeful for evidence of sincerity. But, to her disappointment it’s the same empty promises that came after each fight, expulsion, court date or drink. While smelling the smoke mixed with stale beer on his breath, she wonders how all this had failed to teach him

This is just for you and me to know and read Anna, I don't want you to show it to anyone else... Now that we have that out of the way I just want to say well I don't really know what to say honestly I mean I don't want you to think I regret the time we had together cause I did enjoy it for the time it lasted but there were things I really didn't like as well like the constant fighting and I know it's not just your fault it is mine as well like on our anniversary when we got in that fight I was ent really thinking clearly but a few moments after I definitely was.. I don't really mean to make us argue but if I don't find anything to argue about then you do and it's always right when I get close enough to you again to start getting attached then it's like something in you just changes like the day at that band thing after school when your parents were there you just completely ignored me like I was nothing to you and that's about how it feels now.. but I mean when you did it then it kinda stuck out exactly what you wanted with me or at least what it felt like I mean truthfully I know I'm

Hello… If you are reading this than well, well I’m probably long gone by now. Know I never wanted it to come to this. If anything I owed you at the very least a proper goodbye and given you an explanation as to why I had to leave. But, I thought this would be best given that the reason I had to leave wouldn’t have left me with enough time do so anyhow. I wish I could tell you more, but I guess it’s just as they say, “It’s complicated”. You deserve more than an excuse and I want nothing more than to be able to tell you the truth… It doesn't seem like that’s gonna happen though, “huh…” I hope you’re not mad at me for leaving you like this. I never wanted to especially like this if there was any other way than I would have done things

I will never regret the three years I have spent with you from the smiley face to you leaving me. Omg that first night( that you don't remember lol) I'm not gonna even start listing the oh so many memories. It's been mostly good times and I'm thankful for them all. I have realized that I have sacrifice so many times for us, some things you would never understand. When I asked things of you and you say I shouldn't ask certain questions, talk to me about your life or my ways are not fair I realized that I'm the only one that have really invested into us. We can't even have a friendship anymore. Our conversations are limited. When I have recently expressed to you what's been going on you seem to feel different. Funny thing is you never proceed

Since last Saturday night, thinking about you has so saddened my heart, actually the next several steps up from sad. I feel terrible that I have hurt you so, but I don’t know how to rectify all, or anything that has transpired. I hate it that you love me. I hate that I love to be with you, but not in love. I called it spark the other night, but I would like to change the definition to desire. Not just for you but for anything to do with love and permanence. Scare tissue is never as strong as the skin before, and my heart is covered with it. I know I have built a wall around myself because that is my usual coping mechanism.

I feel I have to explain it, because I’ve never experienced it on the level you are at and always have been. I was afraid of your intentions or letting you in but at the same time I was unknowingly doing so and I couldn’t help or stop it. I know we are soul mates. The only way I knew to show you I was serious was driving in circles to show you how far I would go for you and trusting in you completely while being scared because I felt you were to good for me and you’d walk away and I’d be left broken even more. I underestimated you more than words can say or

I know you’re going to have to leave soon, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be with you. I’m going to miss you like crazy. I would like to start by saying I’m sorry. I am sorry for being rude to you when we were younger. I am sorry for not listening, speaking, and acting as I should have, because I was too stupid and thought you didn’t mean anything to me. Thinking back now, I want to start over and erase it all.

It doesn’t sit right with me, but that’s fine. It’s very easy for me to move on, but you were also my best friend and more than anyone else you would understand the psychological torment his death and your absence wreaked upon my brain for a time. You wouldn’t believe the situations I’ve put myself into this year. This has been a period of extreme difficulty in my life. Perhaps I’ll remain alone for a while. My life has always

The most ironic thing of all is that I think this will be the most difficult breakup I will ever go through, and we never even went out. I can truthfully say that I have loved every moment with you to the fullest. Every day was like a special celebration. We were doing some Nicholas Sparks shit and sneaking out with you will always have a special place my heart’s memory. But if you loved me then… imagine how much you could have loved me now.

I can't even remember what we fought about, but I guess that was all you needed. Just one more reason to go. One more person to add to the list of those that you think don't care about you. But...I do care. God, do I care. I should have never left you alone, but I thought it was what you wanted. You told me to go, so I went. I'm so sorry. You're worth more than I could ever give you. A beautiful boy who felt like he had nothing, yet shone brighter than the rest, who deserved everything under the sun and more. I wish I could've given that to you.