Understanding The Ravishing Love Of God

" The holy work of god has to be attended to and if we are crushed and humbled to the very dust, as also laughing stocks to all who know us, we must be faithful and look for rest and peace only in heaven"

But as I make meaning of the story that my life encapsulates – I was a damaged soul, damaged by abuse by my own father. I can't even say I have a father, because I grew up without knowing what father's love felt like. My earthly father had a gambling problem and had multiple affairs outside of marriage. The pains of my childhood robbed me of my identity, confidence, security, trust in men, joy of living and believe in myself. I struggled greatly even as I grew into adulthood, but, God has healed me, and He is still healing and redeeming me from the wounds of my past. Through many challenges in life, as I grew into adulthood, I find myself asking Him, “God, why, oh God, why do you give me such an emotionally challenging childhood?” Though I did not receive a clear answer all these years but he taught me one thing, and that is to live my life with open hands, to allow God, the Author to do what He so choose to do. It is He, God, the Master of my life, and as for me, to live a life surrendered to my Master. Only then, did I realise that that's how I am able to taste his endless richness of His grace. God has redeemed me and has blessed me so much. Today, I can say that I am blessed and I give thanks to God. Now that I am here, in SBC, studying this work of Benner, it is totally sobering to be called into the work of soul care. Having taken the journey that I have, this reckoning gives me true meaning of what I have experienced in my past; it is that

When I became a mommy at the age of 23, I became aware of how much there was to learn. As a new parent I became overwhelmed by all the duties I had in order to take care of my daughter. She had to be fed, change, bathe, put to sleep, etc. It seemed unconceivable to me that I could cope with any other additional activity, such as going to college or working at the same time. There was a point in my life that I felt discouraged and felt I needed guidance and support to keep on going. I wanted her to experience what I experience during my childhood. However, by the time my 3rd daughter was born, I was aware of everything I had learned and I was actually an excellent mommy. I was able to analyze in detail what every parent must do raise their family in becoming productive citizens of our society and the reason why it was so important to become an excellent caregiver.

However, two monosyllable words drove me away from God. Even though I had been taught that perfection outside of God didn’t exist, that I could do all things through Christ who strengthened me, and that above all God loved me, hearing the phrase thank you from someone was enough to make me believe that I could do it all without Him. Although the phrase is just an expression of gratitude to me it was translated to that person finding me valuable and lovable. Growing up my self-worth was found entirely in how many compliments I received. The people pleasing got to the point to where I would spend all my free time, church being a prime spot, trying to think

When thinking about what career I wanted to pursue, I knew that I wanted to work with children and be able to make a difference in their lives. Volunteering has been a passion of mine since I was young, and as I have grown up I came to the realization that the opportunities I have enjoyed the most and felt that I made

I have always loved working with children. My first job was at Ellison Youth Inc. summer camp and I was a counselor. I interacted with campers between the ages of six through ten. Based on the managers observed she offered me a position during the school year with the after school program. Any environment I’m in I always seem to gravitate towards children and this is when I learned that working with children was my passion. Prior to this time I had no idea this was my passion I knew I just knew I enjoyed working with kids. There was always a sense of self-gratification. So when I found out I was pregnant I was in for a treat.

At our table during the retreat the song Roar by Katy Perry was discussed. “You held me down, but I got up Already brushing off the dust, You hear my voice, your hear that sound, Like thunder, gonna shake the ground, You held me down, but I got up, Get ready cause I've had enough, I see it all, I see it now…” Roar, Katy Perry. It was ironically the children at the Roy Petitfils school that caused some of the most pain in his life. They bullied and hurt him. God calls the children to him as being the most innocent and in this instance they were those that caused the most pain. Moving from being seen and bullied to not being spoken to at all is painful. Is this the way God feels at times. When we are so consumed with ourselves that we fail to respect and pay reverence. When we are hurting we demand that God be there and fix our problems. When we perceive that God has indeed fixed the issue he is slide back in to the shadows with no acknowledgment. Similar to the ministers in the Wounded Healer. we need to be more present in our own happiness. We are drawn to those that shine. We need to acknowledge others, positive affirmations a way to allow others to see us. Hey I noticed you did this ... It's hard to talk about the lights we are. We need to think about our self. Everything happens for a reason. Show gratitude to and for others...bring the

God has endless compassion for each of us. Often we allow this compassion to pass by unnoticed, holding back from completely trusting and opening our hearts to God’s love. In so doing, we become like a dry desert awaiting the rain. Though this desert might seem tough and lifeless on the surface, the rain eventually provides nourishment which transforms the desert into a habitat of flowers, beauty, and life. We are like the dry desert awaiting the rains of compassion from our Lord. I say, wait no longer. God constantly floods us with compassion; we must open the gates of our hearts and allow this compassion to flow in. This essay synthesizes ideas and text from Father Gregory Boyle, Dr. Sanchez’s lectures, and my own life, providing a comprehensive

Although I want to be a pediatric nurse and work with children, I did my job shadowing with older

As I was looking for a job where I could have direct contact with patients, I found a pediatric office in which I started working as a medical assistant. I enjoyed working and fell more deeply in love with children as I closely observed their innocence.

Each night, there is a point where the day falls to silence, a silence that encloses you in your own thoughts and reflections. For as long as I can remember, my dad always told me "that is when you pray." His words matched the ones of every Sunday school teacher, but their voices faded as my worries grew. It seemed there were some stresses a man on a cross could not eliminate. Bible stories where Jesus cures people from their pain and problems appeared no different from the storybooks I stopped reading years ago, unrealistic and improbable. I vacillated between the faith instilled in me and the plausibility of things occurring by chance, not by Christ. As each day came to a close, I struggled to thank a voiceless God for a day I wasn’t grateful

Rach, can you do the dishes before we go to the party?” My mom’s voice called up the stairs. No, I don’t want to do the dishes. “I’ll be there in a minute,” I sighed, sinking farther into my cocoon, pulling the fuzzy blankets closer to my face and breathing their sweet lavender, cotton sent. I felt secure, for a moment. In the next moment, Anxiety came. He nestled his dark face tenderly in my neck then squeezed my face firmly into his, my ear pressing painfully against his icy gray lips. He dug his talons into my stomach and he slowly wrapped me into his bitter cold body. I shivered. Another presence entered, wrapped in a blanket nearly as black as Hell, He took the dripping wet blanket off himself, laid it on me and then evaporated.

God is not only there-an actually existent being; he is personal and we can relate to him in a personal way” (Alin, 2015).

I grew up loving children of all ages and wanting to be a caregiver. I was the baby sitter and nanny to the neighborhood and my church ward. When I was in High School’s it was no surprise to anyone that I chose to work in the school’s child care center. I continued working with children at several child care centers until I went to school.

1 Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. 2 May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry. 3 I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. 4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like one without strength. 5 I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grave, whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care. 6 You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths. 7 Your wrath lies heavily on me; you have overwhelmed me with all your waves. 8 You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I am confined and cannot escape; 9 my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you. 10 Do you show your wonders to the dead? Do their spirits rise up and praise you? 11 Is your love declared in the grave, your faithfulness in Destruction? 12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion? 13 But I cry to you for help, Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you. 14 Why, Lord, do you reject me and hide your