Unrequited Love

1385 WordsJun 25, 20186 Pages
Unrequited Love The study takes into account the numerous negative effects both on the "Would be Lover," and the "Rejector"(p.377). The negative effects on the "Would be Lover" include, Heartbreak, Anger, and Humiliation, whereas the effects on the "Rejector" also include Anger but also Guilt and Scriptlessness. Unrequited love deals with a social relationship between two people many if not all of the eight overarching themes in social psychology are observable in the behavior of the couples. Construction of Reality is the axiom that each person's view of reality is a construction, shaped both by cognitive processes and by social processes (Smith & Mackie 1995). What this says is that reality is basically in the eye of the…show more content…
Basically Baumeister, Wotman, and Stillwell discus something called scripts. They write that "...the aspiring lover has a wealth of scripted guidelines to follow, whereas the rejector does not. Confronted with a real and personal experience of unrequited love, the would be lover has a great stock of distilled insight and fictional models to rely on."(p.379) By saying this the "Would be Lovers" have knowledge pertaining to how the should act in a given circumstance, the reward therefore would be less pain and humiliation. The fourth of the eight overarching themes is that people seek connectedness, meaning, the motivational principle that people seek support, liking, and acceptance from the people and groups the care about and value (Smith & Mackie 1995). This theme is the most significant in the situation of unrequited love. It has been said that receiving love in the form of unconditional positive regard was a crucial key to happiness and adjustment (Rogers 1959). The "Would be Lover' may go to great lengths to try and win the others love although the outcomes are at opposite ends of the spectrum, extreme happiness or humiliating heartbreak depending on the others response. In the case of unrequited love most times the result is humiliating heartbreak. Also it may be this longing for love that causes the "Would be Lover" to believe that the relationship is positive and mutually pleasing.
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