What Do We Mean By Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

"For men are forbidden to take notice of women and women are forbidden to take notice of men." (Page 23)

In Tannen’s essay, the problem seen in society is that of marking, more importantly the marking of women. When referring to the

This interpretation, compared to how Ulrich meant for the quote to be interpreted is quite different. Ulrich wanted the quote to represent how women who do not do something bad, rarely get their stories told, no matter how heroic their actions were, while the creators of this shirt want women to speak out, to make change, and to create equality for everyone, which, by some people, is seen as wrong for women to do. Although what the designers of this product seem to be aiming for is different than what Ulrich originally meant for her quote, I am sure that Ulrich still would support that message.

In this piece, Tannen is “sad” and disappointed that women are still treated differently than men are. According to Tannen, there is nothing a woman can resort to if she does not want to be judged. That is, no woman is “unmarked”. For example, she states that “There is no woman's hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women's hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks…” (390). If a woman were to opt for a plain hairstyle, it would still give a message. In writing about this, Tannen comes to a startling conclusion. She finds that, even today, women have less

John Berger once stated, "men act; women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." Berger describes this sort of duality of existence in a women wherein she is constantly conscious and concerned with mannerisms; basically, there is always a part of her that it outside of herself and watching with self-discriminating attitude. (1) A women is "the surveyor and the surveyed." (1)

Women’s social standing was very important to both men and women. A woman’s appearance was the easiest form of determining her social class. If a woman was dressed in a skirt and blouse or a

In the article, "For Argument’s Sake: Why Do We Feel Compelled to Fight About Everything? Witten by Deborah Tannen. She express that we live in an argumentative culture, where everyone is entitled to their own freedom of speech and rights. Tannen shows that arguments rarely lead to an understanding, but rather that an argument becomes less about the topic at hand and more about proving the opposing side wrong ( Tannen, Deborah(,2008). She tells her stories in many different form to gather the audience’s attention. She then starts to use big words and different logics to appeal to a more intellectual audience. She then starts her stories by manipulating and persuading the unintelligent audience to pull them in so they would know that she is insulting them by using the bigger words, making them feel intimidated.

In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women 's conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the "conversation rituals" among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the "conversation rituals" among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood.

This paragraph was hard to understand. She seems to be trying to explain to the reader that although you should not judge a book by its cover, businesses often make assumptions by their appearance.

He says that one cannot keep a certain sex bound by a stereotype, on the basis of their nature, when nature, in this sense, is biased to what is known and allowed by society. "Custom [...] however universal, affords no presumption and ought not to create any prejudice, in favour [sic] of woman's subjection to man" (Pyle 89). What is considered a woman's nature is not a well-rounded viewpoint because it does not allow for the differences that might occur if situations were different.

He states that they have to be careful of how they come across them, because they could be harassed in a hurry, or how they are nervous creatures, that can be easily excited. This makes the readers believe that men are careful the way they come across women to make sure they don’t upset them or cause anger towards them. The psychoanalyst states that if they ever found them, that they would make a strange strangling sound, which is often mistaken for their laughter. Also they might smile, which is a simple reflex and serves the purpose of disarming us (541). Studies have shown that women are more concerned about their body image, less satisfied and more critical about their bodies, and are more preoccupied with appearance and weight than men (Soffer 578). The narrator uses a metaphor; “if only some dim level, of our reputations in our respective fields” (542) to describe that when the women meet them, they will accept them like their reputations have upheld them. In the diction the author uses to describe how the men think of them shows that if when they do meet the women that the women will want to be with them and accept them how they are. In the mountains where men have never coexisted to women, they might feel as they are being intruded.

Throughout this piece it really focuses on the science of man. She suggests that it is merely gossip instead of conversation. She explains the idea of having a conversation about “us” and in that conversation “them” is silenced or “unnecessary.” This again is recognizing the fact that minorities or people not matching that white, heterosexual male description is unimportant or irrelevant.

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.