What I Did Not Trust You

Thank you for letting my go, for finally ending the pain you knew I had always felt when it came to loving you. I hope you were aware of how difficult it was for me to give you the type of love you so heavily demanded. I was only destroying myself, tearing my soul apart, piece by piece, just to put a smile on your face. Thank you for finally realizing that you have to work on yourself first. I am not and never was capable of doing that for you—no one else is. It was about time you'd decided to end the nights spent crying and the days spent fighting.

Hi... I've been trying so hard to respect that you needed some space but I just can't not talk to you any longer. I understand if you no longer want anything to do with me or if you even want to talk to me but I just want to let you know how sorry I am and how ashamed of myself I am for hurting you the way I did. You are what I loved most in this world and I ruined it. I am so sorry for lying to you and making you feel the way you did. I am also so so sorry if I ruined your week with you're family. I pray I didn't. You probably dont think I do but I love you so much Ellie and I always will. I really want to fix things, I'm willing to do anything in my power to fix things I just need to know whether or not you want me to because I will understand

What I learned from this is that men will cheat as long as they can justify that they are not doing something wrong because it is not their fault.

Some people know jealousy as "green envy." Some people just know it as plain old jealousy, but everyone knows jealousy and the pain it can cause. Jealousy is a nasty emotion, causing nice people to act mean, calm people to act rash, and even the steadiest of tempers to rise. It lashes out with harsh actions and words, hurting many innocent victims. Jealousy causes people to act in abnormal ways, devious ways of hatred and deception, ways that most people would not normally act. Ultimately, jealousy is caused by a certain insecurity that a person has. This insecurity comes from not having what you desire, allowing you to be jealous of those who have it. Three main things that cause insecurity

Unfaithfulness can cause a heart to break. It’s sad to think even those you trust the most can also hurt you the most.

-My previous relationship, my girlfriend had and secrets affair behind my back for many years. I found out she was having an affair with one of my close friends. For one I was deceived by both who I trusted dearly only to be hurt by the lies each of them told me. Any time I would ask either one of them did they like one another they would simply say “ no we’re just joking”

I have tried to put behind me what Josh did and I'm struggling and I'm tired of struggling. I'm grateful I wasn't around Josh when I found out about this because I was so distraught and angry I truly believe I could have physically hurt him. I'm past that part now but still fear it happening again and I just don't trust him. I know you have said and he has promised it would never happen again but he promised me all that in the beginning and it still happened. Plus there have been some questionable incidents involving other girls since all that where I've had my suspicions. I have caught Josh in many untruths as well but I won't go into all that. I love Josh dearly but at this point with me panicking about everything I really don't know that I could ever marry him. I've had days that I have been fine that I thought I can overcome this and days that I wake up feeling very depressed because of the memories. I know it sounds crazy but sometimes certain days when the wheyher is a certain way or a certain song is on the radio that was popular when this happened brings all the horrible memories back. I know you don't hate me Kathie it just appeared that way to me due

“Of course dear, I love you, and forgive you for your mistake. I’m so happy to have you back.”

Obviously, I was hurt and angry, and sometimes I still am. I was also a bit petty by writing you that stupid Skype message and unadding you on Snapchat. I wanted to hate you so I could get over you. Ironically, even

Betrayal is something that many people encounter. John Gottman explains, “I believe that by understanding the dynamics of trust and betrayal, we can work to make relationships more trusting. But more than that we can help people become more trustworthy” (Gottman, 2011). To explain, “…the definition of betrayal involves the act of someone violating your trust in them” (Monica A. Frank, 2004). Thus, in order for me to move past all of the betrayals bestowed to me from my marriage, I need to learn to trust people again. After I was married, there were countless times that I felt like my husband was betraying me. Such as the times my husband, at the time, would leave with his best friend on several Saturdays in a row, to give assistance

As I was not able to build the trust necessary to move along I was wondering If you would be open to offer me a second chance.

Sorry about cutting ties with you only a few short months later. I realized that I had fallen in love and I already had a husband. The basis of my husband and I’s relationship was fighting, like yours and mine, only a little more abusive and a lot more manipulative.

It is crazy to be betrayed by someone you love and care for, someone that I put my heart in her hand and because she though that I did something wrong, she squeezed my heart, leaving me into a pain that I swore I was never gonna feel again, but it happened. I really worried to see how much can this affect me when I tried to go into another relation.

For months everything was perfect just like most relationships, we weren’t fully comfortable, we didn’t argue, we didn’t have a lack of trust. It was absolutely perfect. Once we came to about 6 months he left for the first time, and it broke my heart. We had our space, worked things out and eventually got back together. After a couple more months of being okay, he left again. Once again we gave each other space, worked through it and got back together. After finally working everything out i had a concern of a girl he was around and had been talking to. He had promised that it was nothing and that they were just childhood friends, i believed him at first until it started to become more frequent. After fighting about that many times, he ended up leaving, and that third time had me absolutely shattered from the inside, out. I had a very low self esteem, and couldn’t find it in myself to stay healthy and happy. I let myself fall through very deep cracks, and wasn’t sure how I would back out.