What I Did Not Trust You

2371 WordsOct 16, 201410 Pages
After looking back, I do feel I did not trust you. I felt this because I felt unhappy with myself. I understand how hurtful this was and am sorry I took my self-esteem issues out on you. I also feel that past relationships have hurt me and it was not right to bring them into this relationship. I would like you to believe me when I say that I am working on that, and will make the move forward in our relationship to not take my low self-esteem out on you. It is not right, not fair and not going to happen anymore. I also felt like I did not trust myself, I would get cheated on in a relationship and think, maybe if I cheated back it would make me feel better about myself. I had never cheated on you, never even thought about it. I had a…show more content…
I have forgiven myself for these horrible mistakes I chose to make, I cannot justify my choices I can only tell you I know you never cheated on me, and never wanted too. I can only tell you the reason why I did not see it at the time is because the man I was with before you would cheat on me daily and I took that forward into our relationship, I dealt with it for a really long time and thought that was the best I was ever going to get, that I did not accept the GREATNESS you brought into my life and our relationship. It was not right or fair to think you were going to treat me the same way. I had such a low self-esteem about myself and self-worth that I did talk myself into you deserving someone better. I admit I made a mistake, I took you for granted and got way to comfortable in our relationship, so I did not care about the side effects of my behavior. I cannot say I am sorry enough that I have hurt you, but I would like you to trust in me enough to believe that I will not do it again. I have opened my eyes a lot over the last 4 months, even though I haven’t talked to you personally about it, I have written down everything and think about getting back together with you every day. I know one of my biggest problems is jealousy, I do get jealous because I did feel like I should have been number one in your life, and I did not like having to fight for your attention. I know this is
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