What I Didn 't Have A Father Figure?

My mother has helped me to understand myself, and to develop my characteristics because we have spent the majority of our lives together. One specific example would be in 2015, during an excursion to The Gower Peninsula in Wales, when, over a bonfire, we conversed about my father, and the subject of my conception came up. My mother told me that I was a mistake, because she was worried that she wouldn’t be an adequate mother, and tried abortion. This impacted me considerably, and it has made me live more in the moment because anything can happen, I didn’t feel like I was a mistake, or a failure or any of those labels, but I did realize that my time is limited, and I have to make the most of it. Another example is that during the initial split, my mother lived 5 minutes away from my house, and I would regularly make unscheduled visits to her apartment, and just talk to her. I comforted my mother, and we would talk for many hours. During that time, I hid my feelings behind my humor and

Growing up I had two step moms that didn’t stay permanently; to me my father was all I had. My dad was my role model and my hero, and once he went to prison I was left very confused on how this could happen. At this point in my life I felt alone and like there was no one who wanted me. I was left devastated and received counseling for months. Eventually I started to come to terms with my situation.

For example, as a child, you don’t have the ability to be able to process information and have independent ideas. Children trust their parents and family and naturally believe what they say. I can relate to your boundless affection for your dad . Your entire life your father never had a dependable source of income. It didn’t affect you as a youngster because he

As a child, I was quiet and withdrawn. I taught myself to read when I was three, and spent most of my time reading instead of playing with other children. I understood very early that I was different from others at school. I didn’t have to pay for lunch, something I found (and to be honest, still find) completely mortifying. My father was almost never home, always trucking all over the country in an effort to keep our family afloat. When other kids talked about their dads in school, I often found myself feeling jealous. I, too, wanted a dad who could teach me how to ride a bike or throw a ball. I also understood that it was impossible for me to have that, because my father worked around the clock to keep my family from going hungry. I realized that in order to achieve the things that I wanted to, i would have to take the initiative and do it myself. I borrowed my sister’s bike (although it was much too tall for me to use comfortably), and I practiced riding it until i knew i was better at it than any other 7 year

experience without them, and I really owe a lot to my school career to them always being by my side.

As I got older, I was blessed to have met the right people in high school who end up being my longtime friends till this day. They were able to assist me during my hardship struggles of my double life I lived in. Because of them, I was able to be process myself through individuation, where I can separate more from my family and established my own identity now. My outside experience was able to open my mind and perspective more, and let go off high expectations that held me back to attempt other

Although I had no father figure in my early life, I grew up with my mom and my grandparents. I had an extremely loving home where if I got to the protesting part of when a family member wasn't paying attention to me that was enough to get them to attend to me and my needs. This carried me through my life, where my family allowed me to “feel felt” at all times growing up and my general sense of well being in my life has been pretty intact. Of course there were times when the triangle was broken. These times included times like, when my mom got married or when my little brother was born. The connection to my mom was shifting because she suddenly had others to attend to and couldn't always focus on me. This led to some depressed and saddened times for me; I was not longer “feeling felt” by my mom. Luckily for me, these shifts in our relationship leveled out and we reconnected once we both got use to the

Growing up in the south, being an African American male, and raised by a single mother shaped me in an unique way; a way that would be completely different from a white male the same age, same social class, and also by a single mother. Being raised by a single mother can be very difficult for both the parent as well as a child, but for generations these mother-child bonds have been generally successful. I’m the only child to a single mother as I mentioned earlier, the mother-child bond was strong. This of course had positives, but it had negatives as well. How my mother raised me was different in each life stage with their own positives and negatives.

My father’s remarriage to my step mom, which I would consider a Non-normative event greatly impacted my identity formation because when who I was, was no longer acceptable my self-esteem plummeted. Before, my father remarried I was my father’s princess and back it really seemed like I could do no wrong in his eyes that he loved me and was proud of me. However, after the divorce all that changed. Not only was his new wife unhappy with how I behaved, but it was like suddenly his love, affection and approval were out of reach. My father’s opinion of me really mattered to me so when his love, affection and approval become unattainable myself esteem plummeted because even though I was still getting the same good grades I’ve always got I could no

My two sister were only 12 years old, my brother was 5 years, and I was only 3 when my dad shot himself. My mom distanced herself from, my two sisters, my brother, and myself. As the years passed, my sisters and my brother had grown a connection with my mom but I didn’t. When I turned twelve, I told myself that i needed a relationship with my mom because it had always been important to me since I lost my dad. Throughout that year I tried to have a connection with my mom. As me and my mom grown closer that year I turned thirteen and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I

Growing up with a father that was never around and a father figure that also left was hard, but it taught me that I don’t need a father to rely on. I have myself and my mom, and as long as I don’t forget who I am I

It didn't help that I faced just as many distractions at home, as my parents began having problems with their relationship. My dad was the type of father who would stand me up on his feet when I was little and dance around the kitchen. A tall, strong, African American man who stood on the couch trapped when my hamster got loose. My dad taught me to cook and walked me to school every morning. Soon enough, he wasn't that person anymore. I came home from school one day and sat at the dining room table ready to do my homework. I desperately tried to focus as my father followed my mother past me through the house. He screamed at her, stopping to tell me to never be like her. I was terrified as I watched him hold each end of my mom’s flip phone and break it in half, throwing it to the ground. That night I couldn't do my homework until after I went shopping with my mom to get herself a new cell phone. Luckily, soon after that my mother and I moved out. We didn't have much so we lived at my aunt’s house, sleeping on the living room floor. I was just happy to finally be able to work in peace.

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.” --Sigmund Freud, Standard Edition, 1956

For example, my grandfather Jerry was a doctor and my Great Aunt Margaret and Pat were nurses. Anytime I was sick, my mom would always call her dad up and talk to him rather than rushing me to a doctor. When I was in the 7th grade, it was one of the hardest times of my life, Jerry was suffering from heart attacks and fluid in his lungs. I had never been exposed to the feeling of loss until he passed away. Losing one of my role models and someone that I cared deeply about made me a stronger person. Since his passing, I have seen more and more of my aunts and uncles than I had before, and growing strong relationships with all of them.

My mother relocated to Birmingham, Alabama my first year of high school seeking a better life. Apparently, my father started to miss having his family because he went from being a “ghost father” to a “pop up father”. My father was here one moment and gone the next; he was constantly in and out of our lives. Initially, my classmates scrutinized and ridiculed me for having a fatherless household. I felt destitute and powerless. I needed to find someone or something to influence me in a better way by helping me change from a boy into a man. I became a recluse, never interacting with anyone.