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What I Would 've Been Doing?

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"Perhaps. But we wouldn 't have been trying in the first place if I hadn 't…" "No," she interrupted. "Do you know what we would 've been doing instead? What I would 've been doing?" "I 'm afraid not." "I would 've been trying to convince myself that this could never happen. That being with you meant sacrificing any possibility of having another child." "I would 've done it for you," he said quietly. "Yes, I know. But as I told you, that wouldn 't have been enough. It had to be something we wanted." "I showed you…" "Showed me how you really felt. Yes. But how did that happen? Why did your feelings change?" He stared at her for a long moment, dawning realization in his eyes. "Because of that harebrained scheme of mine. As absurd as it was, I suppose it did give me time to get used to the idea." "Right. So why apologize? That might have never happened if…" "Harebrained," he repeated, his expression grim. "Trying to get you pregnant in the middle of a war? What the bloody hell was I thinking? And now you are, and… fuck." He groaned, burying his head in his hands. Lily swallowed hard, blinking back the moisture in her eyes. The news was a shock, yes. She 'd hardly had a chance to come to terms with it herself. But what she needed from Severus was… well, she didn 't know what she needed. She only knew that it wasn 't this. "You know," she said after a moment. "We don 't know for certain." And that was true, really. Two bouts of sickness? Those nightmares had been

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