What Is Shame Essay

| The word “shame” is not used in the soft sense that we interpret today. It is meant as a dishonour, a disgrace, an insult, which in those days was justifiable cause for a challenge - a fair trial in the eyes of God – a duel.

Profoundly interpersonal, the experience of shame is also therefore social and cultural. Shame is the result of feeling deficient, whether in relation to a parent, an admired friend, or a more powerful social group (39).

Esperanza’s situation is a reminder that shame can have a positive effect on people’s lives by being a source of motivation and inspiration.

Have you ever felt so ashamed that you have become ashamed of who you are becoming? Shame is always reminding people it is a soul eating disease. For instance, in the book The Kite Runner Baba and Amir are so caught up in their shame they can hardly stand each other. In the beginning of the novel Baba pays no attention to Amir and by the end of the novel Amir realizes why his father paid no attention to him. We can become a changed person by facing our shame and allowing it to remain in the past while we move on to our future.

The characters in the book are starting to ignore the shame. In the book, Chanda tells Mrs.Tafa over the phone, “‘ I’m not ashamed of AIDS! I’m ashamed of being ashamed!’” (181). This shows that people like Chanda are ignoring the shame and doesn’t care about being shamed. She doesn’t care if people judges her. In the book, Mrs.Tafa says, “‘So what? The neighbors will know.’” (181). This shows that not everyone is going to ignore the shame like Mrs.Tafa because they are still afraid of being shamed. This also shows that the shame levels are still high and that many people are still afraid of being shamed. This is how the book shows changes throughout the book about how the characters feel about shame and that the shame levels are slowly

Research was conducted by Wiklander, Samuelsson, Jokinen, Nilsonne, Wilczek, Rylander, and Asberg (2012) on the relationship between shame-proneness and suicide attempt. The introduction mentions that the researchers wanted to explore whether or not shame proneness was a stable tendency for attempted suicide. According to Wiklander, et al. (2012), when individuals encounter situations of failure, they typically experience shame. The researchers define shame as "an aversive affective state paired with a negative evaluation of the entire self" (Lewis, 1971; Tangney, Stuewig, & Mashek, 2007; Lindsay-Hatz, 1984 as cited by Wiklander, et al., 2012).

Other issues of shame are those constructed by the Jim Crow system. For example, African Americans being a “shamed race” by being forced into

Shame is unspoken, it is the main secret behind different forms of broken behaviors. The aspiring researcher Brene Brown, in her earlier talk, “The Power of Vulnerability”, which became a viral hit and the most favored TED Talk video, explores what the possibilities are when people confront their shame. Along with her most recent video “Listening to Shame”, Brown speaks of both shame and vulnerability throughout the presentation. She digs into the uncomfortable, unacceptable, and human emotions that we keep deep within us and dares us to show our authentic selves. The presentation includes the rhetorical appeals of ethos, logos and pathos to build the fundamental objectives of the talk. In which throughout her talk, Brown portrays great credibility

Dr. Sandra D. Wilson (2001) asks, “Have you ever felt as if you were the only caterpillar in a butterfly world? Do you often feel as if you have to do twice as much to be half as good as other” (p. 16)? If you answered, yes, then that is what Wilson (2001) calls binding shame. “Shame is the soul-deep belief that something is horribly wrong with me that is not wrong with anyone else in the entire world. If I am bound by shame, I feel hopelessly, distinguishingly different and worthless (p. 16).

1. Shame is the soul-deep belief that something is horribly wrong with me that is not wrong with anyone else in the entire world.

Shame is a powerful feeling that will drive people to do extreme things to prove their strength. O’Brien wanted to

Author, A., & Author, B. (Year). Title of the book. Publication City, ST: Publisher Name. Goldberg, C. (1991). Understanding shame. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.

Shame, in depression, is usually aimed inward toward the victim, or depressed person. When self-pity, another depression mode, is thought of, it usually brings up the feelings of being sad or angry for mistakes that happened in the past. Depressed adolescents frequently communicate their despair before they act out in this final act of desperation. Teens tend to reflect their dysphoria with

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change”(Brené Brown). In The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, a woman is publicly shamed for having a child with a man who is not her husband. Another example of public shame can be seen in modern day articles “Florida ‘Scarlet Letter’ Law is Repealed by Gov. Bush,” by Dana Canedy, and “Houston Couple Gets ‘The Scarlet Letter’ Treatment.” Both talk of public shame that people have had to endure in the present day. Public shaming is not an effective punishment because it is a cruel and unusual punishment, it does not deter crime, and it can emotionally traumatize the one being shamed.

In every country in the world there are certain levels of shaming that every society has, where some countries have extreme shame than others. Shaming is form of criticism and judgement when an individual violates social or moral norms. Shaming fundamentally reacts our psychological need for acceptance and approval from either someone or the public. It is true that for centuries, shame has been given a negative name, but there is reason why shame has existed for a long time and why it will continue to exist in the future. Shaming should be part of society since it brings order and control, it causes people to reflect their wrong doing, and it creates a positive change that affects everyone. Shaming should be part of the society since shaming, most of the time, brings positive results.