What Makes A Lasting Marriage?

In reading the work by Cloud & Townsend (1999) I found no real weaknesses but only strengths on how to improve a person’s marriage. Boundaries in Marriage are not only for the couples that are experiencing current problems; but for the newlyweds, more seasoned couples, and for the ones who are not yet married. Regardless of the persons situation being able to learn what boundaries are and why they are needed is an important part of a healthy marriage. Cloud & Townsend (1999) describes the values that a person must have in order to have a healthier marriage, this is a strength because they require a person to form a relationship that is closer to God first. If we put God first in our lives in not only

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

Summary: Dr. Hawkins has done a wonderful job in presenting the essential elements of what it takes to have a Biblically sound intimate and committed marriage. In Strengthening Marital Intimacy (1991), he has captured the two foundational truths, intimacy and commitment, makes a good marriage into a great marriage. It is not enough to know the Word of God intellectually there must be a real surrendering to the sovereign will of God. To do it will transform a life of commitment to God and to the marriage. The key concepts presented in this book cover marital intimacy, commitment, wisdom, reality, God’s sovereignty, the person, sexuality,

“’Yes, but how often the happiness of marriages founded on reason crumbles to dust because the very passion that was disregarded makes itself felt later.’ said Vronsky. ‘But by “marriages founded on reason”, we mean marriages between those who have both passed through that madness. It’s like scarlet fever: one has to get it over.’” (125)

underpins marriage in many Western and some non-Western countries.” Scholars have continued to argue the success of monogamous relationships. Harville Hendrix (1990) explains that monogamy is a healing practice. Partners in monogamous relationships go through many stages and struggles as a committed couple. Through struggle, partners act as healers that help to work through each other’s suffering (Hendrix 1990). Hendrix (1990) believes individuals choose their partners to work through the pain together and help them grow through life. Monogamous marriage is a spiritual path to happiness and commitment between two individuals (Hendrix 1990). A committed relationship requires monogamy, and Hendrix (1990) contends that healthy and spiritual commitments encourage the sustainability of monogamous relationships. Although Hendrix (1990) contends that monogamy is an effective practice, research has largely built a case around the consequences of monogamous relationships.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’

Marriage is a sacred union between two people who share love. For a long time, there has been a misconception about everything surrounding it. Whether it is the divorce rate, or the average happiness of married couples, many believe only the negative. Researchers often look only for the downside and forget to emphasize all the benefits marriage brings. In her book, The Good News About Marriage, Feldhanh discusses all of this and more in depth to bring to light the truth about marriage. Love is great and sharing a life with someone is something so special; therefore, it shouldn’t be looked down on based on misconceptions.

There is a bible verse commonly read at weddings, that goes as such: “Love suffers long and is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails … Now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13).

In this discussion, Dr. Lewis talks about how Christian marriage is a spiritual connection where two people become one and form a permanent arrangement for life. In modern marriages, though, the author says, people make adjustments in partners when they are no longer in love. This is mainly for the reason that people get married because they share feelings of being in love, which are rarely permanent. Nonetheless, some Christians

Changing gender roles are becoming a major topic in society today, everybody has their own opinion. Traditional marriages seem to be almost obsolete in today’s society with gender roles changing and this has lead to many divorces. Because the husband and wife have different outlooks regarding their roles and this becomes a problem. Instead Balswick & Balswick, (2014) states “that men need to commit their time more emotionally bonding,” I feel this is because difficult for men because they were not raised to be emotional, they were taught that it’s not manly to be emotional. Balswick, (2014) goes on to say “there must be a joint commitment in the marriage in a covenant of love working towards the goal if equality.” Women work towards the same goal as men to help provide for the family. There is too much focus on gender issues and none on God and this is a major issue. We should be working together with each other just as God and the trinity does. Only God can bring liberation and relief for people who continue to suffer these oppression. As Christian we need to stop trying to prevent others from expressing the same rights we have and focus on Gods agenda. I can recall in my marriage I was a stay at home mom. It was horrible, because I didn’t work, so therefore I had no say so at all, he paid all the bills and he was in charge. BHe would always let us know how broke we where and how we couldn’t afford it, and then add “your mom isn’t working”. Chapman, (2014)

Throughout the novel Pride and Prejudice, written by Jane Austen, there are many notable and prominent themes that come up. Out of all of these striking themes, marriage is a topic that comes up many, many times. Compared to the 21st century, when marriage is not as important, the 19th century placed great importance on marriage. Many women married for the sole purpose of money, wealth, and power, while some had married for love and mutual affection. Some women already have some form of inheritance, but still get married just to gain a higher social status, or for companionship. Even though these reasons for marrying are not the best reasons in today’s society, these were the factors that made a successful marriage during Austen’s time. So, according to Pride and Prejudice, a successful marriage consists of a substantial fortune from either side of the marriage, mutual affection, and a good dose of companionship and compatibility.

Rather than giving up and ending the marriage, many couples could save the marriage by trying to work through the problems that arise. Many people do not realize how much hard work has to be put into a marriage for it to be successful. When planning a wedding, some couples spend a lot of time preparing the vows that will be exchanged during the ceremony, but sadly the partners fail to live by the vows day after day. Scores of married couples drift apart because their hectic lives do not allow them to spend enough quality time together, which is important for a healthy marriage. Communication is also an essential factor in working through problems in a marriage.

In the Christian religion, there are two basic laws allowing divorce without the commitment of sin, infidelity and marriage to a nonbeliever whom has abandoned the commitment. However, in today’s society divorce has become a very common thing, as people decide to split part in their many marital dissolutions, and only one of these are considered to be a top five reasons why married couples actually divorce. Furthermore, infidelity or parting upon religious conversions only take upon circumstances of high sin in the views of the Christian God, rather than depicting compelling rational views that affect couples in everyday life.

For constancy is an essential constituent of all capacity to believe, and consequently of all religion. The eminent importance of faithfulness will stand out in a special way against the background of human relationships. (Here faithfulness is taken in its narrow sense, i.e. fidelity.) For what is love without fidelity? In the ultimate analysis, it is nothing but a lie. For the deepest meaning of every love, the inner "word" uttered in love, is the interior orientation toward and giving of oneself to the beloved, a giving which knows no time limit. No fluctuation in the course of life can shatter it. Only a deep change in the beloved person can affect our love if it be true love. A man who would say: "I love you now, but how long it will last, I cannot tell," does not truly love; he