Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been Essay

Where there is desire, there is hope, despair, and struggle. Joyce Carol Oates illustrates animatedly the asphyxiated struggle of desire in her short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” The story narrates the life of a young girl, named Connie, and her fated and enigmatic confrontation with a strange man. Feeling trapped in her own home with her own family, Connie, a self-conscious and rebellious teenager, tries to figure out a way to identify herself with the world around her. Her desire of escaping the reality fuels her struggle to enter adulthood. Through the physical form of Arnold Friend, who embodies both the hope and the despair in Connie’s struggle, the author metaphorically portrays a vigorous and psychological pressure that Connie has to endure. The story is scripted to allude to the danger of identifying oneself through sexuality in young girls. To better understanding this cryptic story, it is important to follow the psychological processes and conflict of Connie’s character, which help unveil the allegorical meaning of a young girl’s rite of passage through sex.

She tries to relate to sex through popular music that romanticizes relationships and life. The short reveals how it affects Connie when she is listening to a popular radio station, “…bathed in a glow of slow-pulsed joy that seemed to rise mysteriously out of the music itself and lay languidly about the airless little room” (Oates 424). Additionally, Connie felt her date with Eddie was similar to “the way it was in movies and promised in songs”(Oates 424). She felt she was living the dream and was beginning to relate to this sexualized, romantic media. In Marie Mitchell and Olesen Urbanski’s literary review of the story, they state “the recurring music then, while ostensibly innocuous realistic detail, is in fact, the vehicle of Connie's seduction and because of its intangibility, not immediately recognizable as such” (1). However, Arnold Friend was quick to remind her of her young age and innocence at the end of the story.

In spite of the way that Connie tries to show the nearness of being a created woman who has learned about men, her involvement with Arnold reveals this is only an execution. She has made an engaging grown-up personality through her dress, hairstyle, and general direct and gets the thought she hopes for from young fellows. Regardless, Connie dumbfounds her ability to summon thought from young fellows with her longing to truly have

Adding on to that, Connie’s shortfall that rock music has molded her has come to light when Arnold Friend gives sexual advances to her. Joyce Carol Oates shows this by writing, “It was the same program that was playing inside the house. “Bobby King?” she said. “I listen to him all the time. I think he’s great.” “He’s kind of great,” Connie said reluctantly.” “Listen, that guy’s great. He knows where the action is.” (p.3-para.2). This shows how Connie feels shocked that Arnold was also listening to the same music as she was when she was inside the house last time. Since she was incompetent in realizing how teenagers interpret the music than adult figures, Connie is vulnerable when Arnold threatens her to come to him because of the rock music that is being allotted to teenagers. To sum it up, the sexual song lyrics and the image of rock music that is normally played and embraced in the American culture has influenced Connie, a teenager, physically and mentally; therefore, she is taken advantage of by Arnold because of her immaturity and youth.

The encounter that Connie experiences with Arnold Friend involves a series of events that would lead someone to believe that he in fact was a figment of her subconscious, or a nightmare. Before their rendezvous, Connie had been sitting “with her eyes closed in the sun”, daydreaming (29). This is the first clue Oates presents the reader to show that Connie falls asleep. In addition to this, when Connie “opened her eyes she hardly knew where she was” (29). When a person is involved in a dream, it is common that they

The beginning of the short story enlightens the reader into the relationship that Connie has with her mother. Connie’s mother does not agree with her admiration for herself. This is due to Connie’s mother’s own insecurities. Oates writes, “Her mother had been pretty once too, if you could believe those old snapshots in the album, but now her looks were gone and that was why she was always after Connie” (Oates 3043). Connie was aware that her mother was jealous of the way she looked and envied her young adolescence. Her mother was nagging her daily and constantly comparing her to her sister. The constant comparison and nagging left Connie to deal with internally judging herself. Oates expresses Connie’s strong unhappiness with her mother by stating “…but around his bent head Connie’s mother kept picking at her until Connie wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over” (3043). Connie’s frustration with her mother lies deep within her internal judgments. She repeatedly obsesses over her mother’s words and desires attention from older males. Even though she does not feel as if she fits in with her sister June, there are some characteristics that she likes about her sister. One of these characteristics is that June is older. Since June is older, Connie is allowed to go out when her sister does which allows her to embrace her rebellious adolescence. She wishes she was older and battles with her internal misconception of her age. In the story, Connie is at an age where she is experimenting with her surroundings. Young girls are regularly comparing themselves to their friends and their elders. The obsession of comparison leaves Connie continuously striving to be better and to increase her attractiveness. Her misconceptions suggest to her that she needs to be more sexual. Her varying internal conflicts leave her with a void that she tries to fill otherwise.

Connie’s identity is shown at the end of the story, but who she was at the beginning of the story differs to who she became at the end of the story. To start, Connie was a fifteen year old girl who was beautiful and adventuress, but failed to acknowledge and grasp the idea of a real family. Connie’s family or her mother is not the exact loving and caring mother some people have experienced. In “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been”, Connie sated “Her mother, who noticed everything and knew everything and who hadn 't

During the conversation between Connie and Arnold Friend, she experiences a dramatic moment so intense that it cannot be avoided or ignored. Her attempt was creating a sexy appearance and fascinating the boys in the local diner delivers as her experiment to analyze new fields as well as a new side of herself. However, until Arnold comes into the story, her expeditions have always been closed into security. She may go into an dark alley with a boy for a short period, but no matter what happens there,

The characterizations of Connie’s family members have great effects on Connie. And Connie’s mother’s characterization is the main motivator for Connie’s rebellion. She always compares Connie with June, who is the “ideal daughter” in her eyes, and blames Connie for some little things, such as improper dressing and not having a tidy room. Oates suggests that the reason for Connie’s mother prohibiting Connie to dress up like an adult is that “ Her mother had been pretty once too” (Oates 1), but now “her looks were gone and that was why she always after Connie” (Oates 1). Therefore, she is jealous about Connie’s beauty and feels uncomfortable when seeing Connie wear beautiful outfits. Meanwhile, she likes June so much because June is obedient and plain, which makes her feel that she is dominant in the relationship. In the short story, Connie’s father is not given much description by the author, but

The characterizations of Connie’s family members have great effects on Connie. And onnie’s mother’s characterization is the main motivator for Connie’s rebellion. She always compares Connie with June, who is the “ideal daughter” in her eyes, and blames Connie for some little things, such as improper dressing and not having a tidy room. Oates suggests that the reason for Connie’s mother prohibiting Connie to dress up like an adult is that “ Her mother had been pretty once too” (Oates 1), but now “her looks were gone and that was why she always after Connie” (Oates 1). Therefore, she is jealous about Connie’s beauty and feels uncomfortable when seeing Connie wear beautiful outfits. Meanwhile, she likes June so much because June is obedient and plain, which makes her feel that she is dominant in the relationship. In the short story, Connie’s father is not given much description by the author, but his characterization has an effect on Connie as well. The irresponsible father spends little time with family and seldom has conversations to his daughters. When hearing his wife’s complain about Connie, he just bends his head with saying nothing, which makes Connie feels ignored and lonely. Urbanski states that “The father, who spent most of his time at work, is weak” (Urbanski 200) to reveals the father is not an active figure in his daughter’s life. Therefore, lacking of the company and communication of family members, Connie becomes upset. In addition, Connie’s sister June, who has the opposite characterization, is also one of the reasons for Connie’s rebellion. In Connie’s eyes, June is a

In her sorrow for the behavior of her daughter Connie, the mother often expresses a bit more appreciation and consideration for the older sister June. She declares somewhere in the story, ‘’Why don’t you keep your room clean like your sister? How’ve you got your hair fixed-what the hell stinks? Hair spray? You don’t see your sister using that junk’’ (Henderson ). It is well-known that anything in excess is harmful, but Connie does not seem to have been aware of this. Connie’s behavior, far away from doing good to her, exposes her to her sexual predator as an easy prey.

Both the movie and the story emphasize the dramatic separation of understanding between Connie and her mother. The apparent lack of depth in Connie and her father’s relationship dims in comparison to the almost-tangible hatred Connie seems to feel toward her mother, her mother “who had been pretty once too, but now her looks were gone, and that was why she was always after Connie” (Oates 148). Despite the anger she feels, however, it is her mother that Connie cries out to for help in both versions as she sees herself forced to give into Friend’s wishes in an attempt to spare her family the evil he hints will come

As the story progresses, it is Sunday morning and her family is getting ready to attend a family bar-b-queue. However, Connie insists on not attending and is left alone at home. As she is washing her hair, she hears an unfamiliar car driving up to her house and her heart begins to pound for she does not want the visitor to see her undone. When Arnold Friend, a man she has seen at the restaurant before, but has never spoken to, shows up on her doorstep, she is someone curious as to why he is visiting her. Throughout the scene, he is attempting to persuade Connie into taking a ride with him and his friend Ellie. The more he speaks to her, he reveals to her that he knows many things about her such as her friends, her name, and family and where they are currently at. As the scene develops, Connie no longer has interest in Arnold for she now is scared and is fearful of what his intentions are.

The author puts Connie out to be a bad kid but is she really? Yeah, Connie is not the most respectful or well-behaved kid but who is at the age of fifteen. The author shares some instances where Connie does not make the best decisions. The author shares, “She spent three hours with him, at the restaurant where they ate hamburgers and drank cokes…and then down an alley a mile or so away” (Oate’s. 109). The quote shows how Connie put herself in situations that a girl her age should have never been in. The author gives Connie the identity of not being confident in herself when she says, “Connie would raise her eyebrows at these familiar complaints and look right through her mother, into a shadowy vision of herself as she was right at that moment: she knew she was pretty and that was everything.”

He was telling her that he thought she was cute, and she said back to him, that she didn’t know who he was. He told her that his name was Arnold Friend, and he acted like she should know him. They kept going at each other, Arnold from the driveway and her from the house (behind the door). Arnold seemed to know everything about her family. He knew that they were out for the day and that they wouldn’t be back. He told her that he thought that she was cute and that she should come for a ride in the car. She told him flat out that she didn’t want to, but he told her that if she hadn’t done so that he was going to hurt her family. (Oates 367) He told her too that if she picked up the phone and called the police that he was going to come into the house, but otherwise he wouldn’t come in.Connie was terrified she didn't know what to do so she put the phone down “Cmon honey”. She put her hand to the door, and walked towards Arnold Friend. He said to her “My sweet little blue eyed girl.”(Connie had brown eyes)…Oates tells in the end “Connie had never seen so much land before and did not recognize it except to know that she was going to it.” (Oates 377) Arnold friend took Connie away……