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Where Is The Line Between Depression And Being Depressed Essay

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Where is the Line Between “Having Depression” and “Being Depressed”?
I remember it well, the first time I thought I had depression. I was 17. My psychology textbook had innocently listed the symptoms of clinical depression, and I read them with increasing fervour, the cogs in my mind whirring and clicking into place. This is me! I thought, my obviously fully developed adult brain making proper conclusions. Equal feelings of dread and relief settled into the pit of my stomach. Despite my knowledge that psychology students have a tendency to incorrectly self-diagnose, this was my reality for the six years separating now and then. I maintained this belief through a detrimental concoction of confirmation bias and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Countless times I’ve sat, mindless gaze fixed on the wall, eyes brimming with silent, slow tears. The void opens in my chest, I reach for my phone, then stop, with the helpless hesitation of one who truly believes that none of her friends will care. You are useless, my mind whispers. You are worthless. I stare listlessly at stucco ceilings, white and blank and empty; I hide within the folds of duvet covers; I wither within a trench of self-pity. The insidious beast settles in, to either destroy my relationships or render me useless in any endeavour. But, once the storm passes, I am myself again – ostensibly flatline but not necessarily depressed.
Over the years my experience has not continued to be so bleak, though, and I discovered in my

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