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Whining Children Need For A Problem Solvers By Scott Turansky

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Whining Children Need to Learn to Become Problem Solvers
By Scott Turansky | Co-Author: Joanne L Miller | Submitted On July 26, 2011

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There are two kinds of people in the world, solvers and whiners. Whiners complain about life, feel like victims, and believe that others cause their problems. If others would just change then they 'd be happy. Until then, they 'll just whine about life.

Solvers look for …show more content…

It would be better for Lori to say, "Dad, would you please help me find my boots."

Maybe you think this is only semantics. But the words children use to bring problems to their parents can mean all the difference in the way they view themselves and the world. Whining is often the sign of a victim mentality. Children who believe that they 're victims are often angry and resentful because everyone else is the cause of their problems. They don 't believe they can change anything so they may as well just complain about it.

Expressing misery to others might bring sympathy but it rarely brings change. Furthermore, if the whining works and change occurs, it further cements the wrong thinking in the mind of the child. "If I whine enough, other people will change the situation and then I 'll feel better."

Be careful that you don 't solve a whining child 's problem too quickly. Rather, encourage them to take initiative to solve it. The solution may involve you but it requires that the child take action toward the solution as well.

Elizabeth is twelve years old. She often complains that she doesn 't have the clothes that she wants to wear. Mom is in the habit of helping her find something but most of the time Elizabeth is still unhappy about the choice. Mom realized that her daughter had developed an attitude that the clothes problem was Mom 's to solve, so she decided to make some changes.

Mom took Elizabeth out clothes

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